Compliance Visit

cte1111

When I've shared houses with friends in the past, we've had joint tenancy agreements and utility bills. This does not show that you are a couple necessarily. Some sharers also have joint grocery shopping, although I've never done this personally

I think for now your main aim should be to show that you are not and never have been a couple, but are obviously very good friends who share a house.

Once you've got past the compliance stuff, then maybe think about the future status of your relationship. I do wonder whether it's a good idea or not, given that your instincts have always been against it in the past. Have the reasons you didn't want to be with him gone, e.g. does he now manage his money well?

goslr1234

We have separate tenancies, we pay bills separate. We do online shopping but split the bill by how much he bought and so on ( would just be stupid getting two shops in the same week when we can do one shop) we have diff sections for the freezer, diff rooms, he has his own cabinet in the bathroom and I have my own too... It's just how a shared house is... Or at least how we have always been...

He's ok with money when he's doing hills and stuff but if he ha a money left over he tends to waste it but not to the point he gets into debt

goslr1234

Those reasons have gone because Tom main reasons was it was a big responsibility with his mental illness BUT the thing is for three years I've put up with it and got used to it now so I don't think it would bother me

Topcat1982

Are you sure it wasn't your friend who impregnated you? Now he's confessed he has feelings for you, I'd be suspicious. Maybe you should do a DNA.

Oh, no don't tell the DWP you're considering a relationship. Just tell them the current situation. Men and women can be flatmates!

goslr1234

swingaloo wrote: »

So do you have


Separate bank accounts


Separate tenancy agreements


No joint loans or financial ties


No bills in joint names


Separate car insurance


Do you live separate lives- ie, no joint shopping etc?


If all the above is in order then just be honest and it should be ok. However, if you share your everyday lives completely then you are a couple, a couple that don't have sex, but still a couple.

Yes he has a bank account and I have a separate bank account.

Yes we have separate tenancy agreements.

We have no joint loans or financial ties together.

Neither of us drive so no car insurance sharing.

I do my shopping online and whatever he needs if I'm already shopping at Asda he asks me to order it and gives me the money for it. More for convenience tbh... He does come out with me but he has mental health issues and can't go out on his own.

Also to the person who said he could be the father and do a DNA test. I can't afford it and not only that. It was a party for my birthday there was tons of people there and myself and my housemate were very very drunk, when I woke up I was on my own feeling rough and he was still in bed for the rest of the afternoon feeling as rough as I did so I can't see it being him and if it was neither of us ever even thought about it that way and now I'm really worried.

He was at the birth but that was because what little family I do have here I have absolutely nothing to do with and his name is my sons middle name because as I said before. I wanted it to be Malcolm all along but when I went to register my sons birth my dad said please don't call him that he might be teased "Malcolm in the middle" of course everyone laughed and my mother suggested why not have it as his name as we've always been good friends.

Hmm

goslr1234

Before anyone comments on him being in bed for the whole afternoon I mean in his own bed not mine

goslr1234

Is there any way I can get a free DNA test or a cheap one at least? I want to be sure now because I only remember bits of that night for example the start when people came in but apart from that I don't know...

He doesn't remember much either, I want to find out now for mine and my sons sake.

[Deleted User]

Would he still want to be proven as the kid's father if, rather than to Cupid, it was to the CSA?

bloolagoon

goslr1234 wrote: »

Is there any way I can get a free DNA test or a cheap one at least? I want to be sure now because I only remember bits of that night for example the start when people came in but apart from that I don't know...

He doesn't remember much either, I want to find out now for mine and my sons sake.

It's possible that someone reported you if they've suddenly done a compliance now - do people assume he's the father?

goslr1234

Nobody could have reported me because nobody assumes he's the father and apparently if someone does report you they tell you but they don't tell you who it is. They said it's because they find it strange none of us have move out and still live together and we are the same age. Apparently that's why they have come round