Compliance Visit

goslr1234

Hello, I am new to this so I am really hoping that somebody can help me. I'll explain a bit of history before I explain what I would like advice on.

I am nearly 22 and I live with my best friend who is the same age. He's male and we have known each other for ten years or more as we are childhood friends. I moved because my dad had Parkinson's and I was really struggling watching him deteriorate. He moved because he didn't get on well with his family, his mum was constantly kicking him out and for months on end he would live outside in a tent as he had nowhere to go. Hence why we hatched a plan to move away and have a fresh start as I was already doing that and he decided he'd tag along.

This worked really well as we have always been good friends and we found a house that had the room for us to live as housemates and we've been getting on great for the past three years as housemates and nothing more.

2 years ago on my 19th birthday he threw me a party and I don't drink and I don't remember anything from that night except waking up feeling rough and five week later doing a pregnancy test to find out I was pregnant with my little boy! Yes I know it isn't good not knowing who my sons dad is and I'm not proud of it! I have never been one to do that, I never even went to parties, drank or anything along those lines so this completely upset my parents!

The compliance visit is because they want to make sure we live totally separate, separate fridge and freezer parts, kitchen cupboards, rooms ect ect. Which it all is. I can totally see why they would want to do that because it does look funny two people the same age, opposite sex in the same house.

Now this is where I need help. In the past my housemate has asked me if I'd ever become more than friends with him and I always said no in the nicest and possible way without offending him. Deep down I have my reasons and I know it sounds mean but I've always stood by them; he suffers from social anxiety and social phobia and wastes his benefit money when he gets it on complete and utter junk. Now the first reason I don't want to be with him is because of the fact I think with his social anxiety he would just rely on me too much and the second reason is I am a budget freak and make sure I have money for me and my son ALWAYS!

I wouldn't feel comfortable if he wanted to waste money and I had to tell him no incase he didn't like it... It seems like such a huge responsability getting into a relationship with him.

Anyway he asked me again when I got this letter. I explained that they're checking we still live seperate and he asked why don't we give it ago and become a couple, see how it goes and if it doesn't work then it just doesn't work and he said he likes me and really wants to give 'us' a try... he gets on great with my son as anyone would understand as my sons grown up around him.

The more I think about it the more I think about the idea, I'm coming round to it, my son gets on with him and I like him too, maybe not as much as he does me but I think we could give it a go and see how it went.

Now my question is, should I mention this tomorrow at the meeting with the compliance guy or should I leave it. I don't want him to automatically assume that I've been lying for the past three years of my circumstances because I haven't.

Any advice is good advice so please help
Thanks.

paragon909

The only advice is, Show them everything they want to see. don't hide or make stuff up.

Compliance is only to make sure a claimant is following the governments rules for that benefit.

Don't lie, And you will be fine. If you have nothing to hide. It will be all fine.

goslr1234

Do you think I should just show him everything whilst he's here then phone job centre up regarding a couple or just explain everything I've explained on here to him. My house mate wanted to be more than friends and I always said no but he recently asked me again when I told him about the compliance visit and explained what it was and I've been thinking about it? I really don't know

bloolagoon

Is he your child's father?

goslr1234

I know he wants to see round the house and we are living totally separate so that's fine I'm not bothered it's just my head over thinking everything and not knowing if I should say anything about me considering starting a relationship with him purely because I am scared incase they don't believe what I am telling them and assume I've been with him all this time when I haven't

goslr1234

No I explained before my child and his father x

goslr1234

I don't know whether I should just explain we aren't living together as a couple but wanted to start a relationship/was considering it OR just let him look around and when he's gone, think it through some more and then when I'm 100% I could ring up?

goslr1234

I mean living together as a couple sorry I'm watching my son as he's not very well as I'm typing this.

NICHOLAS_2

If i was you i would not say anything that could make it look as if you are committing benefit fraud or doing something that may even sound dodgy.

Plus, whoever visits you is probably not going to be in the mood for a full explanation of your love life, or lack of, :money:

goslr1234

Haha, ok I won't say anything I just don't want to decide and then it look dodgy as you said before because it isn't. It's just a whole mess of feelings and confusion lmao

goslr1234

ok thank you