Compliance Visit

LoveLifeAgain

My opinion:


They are not the thought police and you do not have to tell them what you are considering.
Just show them how it is now and has been and if it changes then inform whoever you need to immediately. Telling them anything that your flatmate has confided to you is not necessary, these people are not your therapist.
Just make sure that you tell them of any changes when they happen, tell them honestly how they are now rather than how they may be, after all it may never happen. Good luck.

giddypenguin

Just as an aside from the great advice you've already had regarding the compliance visit - you may want to consider how you actually feel about this person? You mention thinking about starting this relationship for a variety of reasons, but only briefly mention how you actually feel about him.

I just wanted to say starting a relationship just because it practically makes sense may not be the best - what happens if you break up? Could you still live together in that event? Could you financially cope? Would that confuse your son? You've had a friendship of 10 years, it's worth giving it serious consideration that it could be put at risk.

But overall - do what you think will make you happy - not just what makes practical sense. (spoken from experience, I didn't live with the guy, but we were good friends, he liked me I thought my feelings would develop and in the end I hurt someone who I really cared about)

Sorry had to just add my two-pence worth... very best of luck with everything :-)

FBaby

What you need to focus on is the evidence you have that your not a couple to start different tenancy agreements, paying your bills separately etc...

goslr1234

I had the visit and he hardly asked me any questions but he seemed to think it was all very strange and very much a lie... He asked why my sons middle name was after him so I told him the truth, I wanted it to be after my dad but because my dads name is Malcolm he thought having that as a middle name he would be bullied "Malcolm in the middle"

He asked if he was at the birth to which I replied yes, he did not see anything because I wouldn't let him anywhere near there just at the top but I had nobody there to support me but him and not only that, I had a emergency c section anyway.

He didn't believe me that he didn't get on with his mum and he was always on the streets, instead he just looked at me as if yeah right and repeated "why would he live in a tent" I don't know how his mind works so I wasn't exactly the person to ask that question too..

He said multiple times " if you have anything to hide I suggest you tell us now or I shall be Intouch"

I do like my housemate and I would like to give it ago, we are close friends and know each other so well so I think it's worth a try but I really don't know what to do, I don't want to make it look like something it isn't to the dwp

goslr1234

I didn't explain the c section part I just said yes

NICHOLAS_2

He lives in a tent in the garden? LOOOLLLLL No wonder he thought you were trying it on. LOOOOOL that is funny. If he is living in a tent then you should run a mile cause he's weird.

goslr1234

No he doesn't live in a tent he LIVED in one because his mother kept kicking him out for no reason and she would never ask him to come back so he'd be on the streets. Why would be a housemate if he lived in a tent lol. No he lives in his own bedroom in a house but before moving he lived at his mums and if she kicked him out then in a tent

goslr1234

If you read my original post it explains it all...

swingaloo

So do you have


Separate bank accounts


Separate tenancy agreements


No joint loans or financial ties


No bills in joint names


Separate car insurance


Do you live separate lives- ie, no joint shopping etc?


If all the above is in order then just be honest and it should be ok. However, if you share your everyday lives completely then you are a couple, a couple that don't have sex, but still a couple.

NICHOLAS_2

Sorry, i did read your post at the start but got confused when you told the compliance guy that he lived in a tent, i thought you had put up a tent in the garden