Should I reduce Maintenance if I have the kids??

CHR15

I know what you mean, each case is individual, this is just my opinion (I don't hate women lol )

In my own case, I didn't run off with some floozy, I was thrown out of my life afer discovering my ex's behaviour! She said she could never trust me again because I snooped behind her back!! !!!!!!????

I sympathise with anyone who struggles after a breakup, male or female, it's a difficult time and with children, there is no end to the difficulties.

Bring Family Values and Commitment into schooling I say!!

Angua2

Think you raise a very interesting point, Chri15. What school subjects really help our children become socially aware and responsible, able to make informed decisions and be as happy as we dream they will be?

Simon_Wallace

liney wrote: »

the cost of her looking after the children that month, will be 1/4 so paying her 1/2 is very reasonable, especially as it's a holiday so you will probably spend more money in those 3 weeks than at home. Logic and reason .... appeal to her's? Best of luck with that eh?

But i do take offense that you assume feminist's would automatically argue with you ! /poke

Presuming she still has to pay rent/mortgage and council tax on the family home then her costs won't a quarter for the month. I think half is a fair amount to ask back though.

I consider myself a feminist, but I also realise there are bad women in the world as well as bad men. No sex, colour or sexuality makes you a good person in the same way that no sex, colour or sexuality makes you a bad person.

Cheers
Simon

kelloggs36

Reinstilling a sense of competition would be a start - we can't all succeed and all excell in something different which need to be valued equally but children need to learn that they will win some and lose some! Moral responsibility would be good too!

CHR15

I have sent a text saying I have to knock £100 off this month.

Now...... where are my ear defenders??

Angua2

The idea of seeking value is key, I think, so stressing empathy and construction (after all, ego/identity/self-worth are constructs) can be extremely beneficial. Competition and moral responsibility include an element of understanding boundaries, as well as the role of the self within a wider context. The difficulties seem to lie in getting to grips with the lack of absolutes and the times when it's a judgment call.

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Reinstilling a sense of competition would be a start - we can't all succeed and all excell in something different which need to be valued equally but children need to learn that they will win some and lose some! Moral responsibility would be good too!

Angua2

How dare you bring us back on-topic!

CHR15 wrote: »

I have sent a text saying I have to knock £100 off this month.

Best of luck and may the Ear Defenders protect you.

aussiesbird

"I have sent a text saying I have to knock £100 off this month.

Now...... where are my ear defenders??"

LOL :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
For what its worth CHR15 I don't think you are being unreasonable at all (and yes, I am a woman ) You are in need of that extra cash for your children whilst you are all on holiday. It is not like you just have a notion to stop some of the money to be awkward. You sound like brilliant Dad to me and if your ex kicks up a fuss then she is the one being unreasonable.
I wish you good luck and don't forget she may burst your eardrums but you can still use your hands to type, so keep us up to date on how it's going!!!!

elisebutt65

£450!! For 2 kids!!! WOW!!!!! She is sooo Lucky!!!!!

I get £160 for my eldest and £40 for my youngest - 2 different fathers - beat me now - I'm such a scarlet woman:T:T

My BF also caught his missus at it so now he paid her £400 per month for their 4 - basically £100 each per month - well he did until eldest left 4 Uni. She's getting all stroppy now cos next one (18) has left home and is getting a job in his year off before Uni so he isn't paying for him as of September this year - her argument is that he's still living at home so the Dad should still pay for him - !!!!!! - Not only is son paying for board but she still wants his dad to pay as well!!!!

Anyway - can I say "well done" for being such a generous PWOC - I'd knock off more than £100 cos it's going to cost more than that to take them on holiday!!!!

Kimitatsu

At the end of the day it is the children who are at the heart of this agreement. £100 for three weeks wont go far so I think it is perfectly fair.

And I have to tell you it really is NOT a womans world! I would be happy with 10% of what you give your ex, but the CSA have their hands tied because everything is in his partners name........so I have to prove that his living standard is at odds with his income, me, not them!

Maybe you shoudl point out that there are many women who would not only love £450 a month but also to be able to afford to go away for three weeks at peak time