DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 11

January2015

debtisnotme wrote: »

This thread is great, I have learnt so much over the past few days of reading it. I am in the process of setting up a DMP with Stepchange for around £37k of debt.

I've lived with depression and anxiety for years, the depression has wained somewhat thanks to a better time at work, supportive colleagues etc but the anxiety remains and I think its mostly debt related. Alot of my debt has been taken out within the past six months or so. In addition to that £37k I have a mortgage and a secured loan of £20k also taken out six months ago. I wish I had got my head around it all six months ago but ti is what it is. The only good news is the loan is on a fixed rate and term of five years so in four and a half years I should be able to get everything paid off.

I wish I had the mental strength to go it alone with a DMP and also to build up an emergency fund by just not paying for a few months but I don't so for now this is the best way to go. I feel bad about using Stepchange, there are much less financially savvy (huh thats a joke!) than me that they could be helping instead.

Just waiting on Coop setting up my basic bank account, I have until 25th to change my bank details at work and would feel much less anxious if I know my pay didn't have to go in my current bank account as I have both a credit card and overdraft with them. It seems stupid you can't set it up online and its so far been 11 days since I sent off the paperwork so fingers crossed it will be sorted this week.

Feeling very anxious about letters in the post but at least the telehphone calls won't be a problem, I never answer the phone unless I recognise the number

If you are just setting your DMP up with SC you can, even now, let them know you want to delay the start of the DMP in order that you can save an emergency fund. SC and creditors will be fine with this. I cannot state how important it is to build some sort of emergency fund. You will no longer have access to credit and it will just take a car breakdown or something similar and you will be in panic mode.

I entered the DMP world in January 2015, scared witless and owing approx £95k. We did delay the start of our DMP for a couple of months but with hindsight I would have delayed it longer. I was just so scared of repercussions from creditors. We started with SC and went self managed a year later - at which time we went to token payments to build the emergency fund. We've been paying agreed payments fine but for personal reasons we have needed to drop to token payments again. Every single creditor (we have 11 of them) has been really supportive and accepted the measly £1 per month we are paying. So, please do think about delaying the start of your DMP and taking the time to build an emergency fund.

With regard to letters from creditors - don't worry. Do keep them and file them safely away. This becomes so important as you get letters agreeing to stop interest and charges (because one person/department may agree it and then some !!!!!! in another section seems to know nothing about it).

We wrote to all our creditors advising them of our DMP (even though SC do this for you). We put that we did not give them permission to contact us by telephone and all communications regarding the account(s) must be made in writing. They've all honoured that - and when debts have been transferred to debt collection agencies we've sent the same to them. We've had no trouble.

I can honestly say that January 2015 was the beginning of the rest of our lives - we can clearly see a path to clear the mountain of debt we had accrued and we have never been happier. We have a lifestyle which is far from excessive, but we can afford to live. We have changed our outlook of what we need vs what we want (well we don't seem to want much these days anyway :rotfl:). We found the tunnel and the lightbulb at the end of the tunnel is still a fair way off but it continues to glow brightly to lead us out of debt.

I wish all the best with your journey to becoming debt free :beer:

debtisnotme

Thank you Jan2015 for your wise words, you are right its a real worry, I don't have a car so no worries there but I do "own" my own home and have a dodgy boiler so it is a constant worry, my house is over 120 years old so it never stops. I will speak to Step change about delaying the start of my DMP, hope they will be ok about it but as i haven't yet given them DD details the worst they can do is refuse me as a client and I'll go it alone.

January2015

debtisnotme wrote: »

Thank you Jan2015 for your wise words, you are right its a real worry, I don't have a car so no worries there but I do "own" my own home and have a dodgy boiler so it is a constant worry, my house is over 120 years old so it never stops. I will speak to Step change about delaying the start of my DMP, hope they will be ok about it but as i haven't yet given them DD details the worst they can do is refuse me as a client and I'll go it alone.

The best thing you can take on-board is that this is your DMP - SC are just there to facilitate the process for you - which, as you realise, you can do for yourself if you feel ready. For us, we needed that first year of being with SC to discipline us to learn to manage our money and live within a budget (clearly to get to almost £100k debt we had never lived within a budget before ).

We also own our own home and repairs and maintenance are not cheap. Maintenance is essential and I would imagine on an older home such as yours there comes a point when maintenance becomes repair/renew.

Just be firm with SC and stand your ground. They will be okay.

alyxzandra

Hello, everyone. Just popping in for an update. My debts came about as a result of supporting my disabled mother in the U.S. and being taken in by a cowboy builder. The builder took all of our savings for an extension we were building. Years after being told I could not have children, I found myself suddenly pregnant at 39. We had a 1 bedroom property we owned and decided to build an extension to make it into a 2 bedroom using our savings. We did all the right things; checked previous work, references, staged payments, etc. We got screwed over and had to dig into our credit cards to pay for nearly 30 grand in remedial works or leave our home open to the elements with a baby.

I had a good job, but my son is autistic and it has gotten to the point where one of us had to leave our job to be home for him. My work offered me voluntary redundancy and we used the money to do household repairs that were desperately needed, pay off some debts and buy another car as the old one decided to drop it's engine out in the middle of a roundabout. Our money has reduced by a good sum and it is a struggle, but I am unable to work due to having to be around for my son.

We are 4 years into our DMP and have another 8 to go, but I have plans on trying to reduce it to 6.5 years. So, we are in for the long haul. Still, I am a happy mother who adores her son and everything was worth it. Unfortunately, my mother passed away and we had to help out my disabled stepdad, but he is now getting help from his brother. Despite everything, I have no regrets in helping out my mother and I adore my son. And now I look forward to eventually being out of this debt.

For anyone else worried, stick with it. It will work out in the end and it has worked out for us for the last 4 years. You are tackling your debts and companies will wait. Budgeting is the best way forward.

sourcrates

alyxzandra wrote: »

Hello, everyone. Just popping in for an update. My debts came about as a result of supporting my disabled mother in the U.S. and being taken in by a cowboy builder. The builder took all of our savings for an extension we were building. Years after being told I could not have children, I found myself suddenly pregnant at 39. We had a 1 bedroom property we owned and decided to build an extension to make it into a 2 bedroom using our savings. We did all the right things; checked previous work, references, staged payments, etc. We got screwed over and had to dig into our credit cards to pay for nearly 30 grand in remedial works or leave our home open to the elements with a baby.

I had a good job, but my son is autistic and it has gotten to the point where one of us had to leave our job to be home for him. My work offered me voluntary redundancy and we used the money to do household repairs that were desperately needed, pay off some debts and buy another car as the old one decided to drop it's engine out in the middle of a roundabout. Our money has reduced by a good sum and it is a struggle, but I am unable to work due to having to be around for my son.

We are 4 years into our DMP and have another 8 to go, but I have plans on trying to reduce it to 6.5 years. So, we are in for the long haul. Still, I am a happy mother who adores her son and everything was worth it. Unfortunately, my mother passed away and we had to help out my disabled stepdad, but he is now getting help from his brother. Despite everything, I have no regrets in helping out my mother and I adore my son. And now I look forward to eventually being out of this debt.

For anyone else worried, stick with it. It will work out in the end and it has worked out for us for the last 4 years. You are tackling your debts and companies will wait. Budgeting is the best way forward.

Hi,

How old is your son ?

I have an autistic son too, he goes to a special school for his needs, where's he's coming on in leaps and bounds.

I'm assuming your son has left school now ?

alyxzandra

He is 8 and has been in a special needs school since he was 4, when he was statemented. He was thrown out of 9 places including reception on the 3rd day. It has been up and down with him even in the school. He was on the verge of exclusion several times. He also has severe asthma and is under the care of a respiratory specialist as well as ADHD. Along with all his appointments, constantly having to take time off of work and getting home late from work, it was hard. The school asked if it was possible for one of us to be home all the time as he needed a lot of input. It has helped, but he still has his days, like today.

How old is your son?

sourcrates

alyxzandra wrote: »

He is 8 and has been in a special needs school since he was 4, when he was statemented. He was thrown out of 9 places including reception on the 3rd day. It has been up and down with him even in the school. He was on the verge of exclusion several times. He also has severe asthma and is under the care of a respiratory specialist as well as ADHD. Along with all his appointments, constantly having to take time off of work and getting home late from work, it was hard. The school asked if it was possible for one of us to be home all the time as he needed a lot of input. It has helped, but he still has his days, like today.

How old is your son?

My boy is 6, his behaviour is more manageable now he mixes with others at school, he's really responded well with his speech etc.

But he can still have meltdowns, I can understand your decision.

Unless you have an autistic child it's very difficult to understand isn't it.

alyxzandra

I am glad your son has calmed down and is now doing well. My son is very chatty, sociable, highly intelligent and manipulative. He also gets easily bored. But, his behaviour.....He tries to use it to manipulate. I can control him to a degree, but others struggle. He is in 13 year old clothing, 4'7" tall and weighs 8 stone. So, he is a big boy.

It was not an easy decision to leave work as I was not only the main bread winner, but had a very good paying job. However, my husband did not want to leave his work and it was better I was home. But, yes, unless one has been in our shoes, it is hard to judge.

Sazzie23

alyxzandra wrote: »

I am glad your son has calmed down and is now doing well. My son is very chatty, sociable, highly intelligent and manipulative. He also gets easily bored. But, his behaviour.....He tries to use it to manipulate. I can control him to a degree, but others struggle. He is in 13 year old clothing, 4'7" tall and weighs 8 stone. So, he is a big boy.

It was not an easy decision to leave work as I was not only the main bread winner, but had a very good paying job. However, my husband did not want to leave his work and it was better I was home. But, yes, unless one has been in our shoes, it is hard to judge.

Hi Alyxz

Very big decisions, but you know in your heart if they are the right ones and if you can live with them. Some things are worth more than money, just make sure you claim any benefits or help that you might be entitled to. I'm sure it's not an easy situation in many ways and I'm glad this thread and the forums can offer a tiny bit of light in the tunnel.

Saz

[Deleted User]

Hugs to alyxzandra and sourcrates. I have no autistic child myself but have worked with several of them and their families in my career (now retired) and can appreciate some of the problems that you encounter on a daily basis. What's the saying, you don't know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes? May have got that completely wrong but you know what I mean:)


Quick query, any help would be very welcome. Am fed up of constant issues with BT:eek: and want to change my ISP and phone provider asap. Does anyone know if companies credit check applicants/switchers please? Would being on a DMP with a string of defaults make any difference? Thanks:)