Why Won’t You Marry Me ?

simon-dupree

Declarations of trust,pre nups and all that are not necessarily recognised by the courts (and can be overridden)and must be taken with solicitors advice at least a month before marriage.Then the lawyers are duty bound to make sure their client gets a reasonable payout in line with their expectations of the type of wealth they are marrying into (total declaration of all broths assets is necessary to either side ) otherwise they will advise against it.Its a minefield and to all those who say pay people to give advice.Pay them and they will warn you against it from a financial point of view.There is no way round it why do you think England is renouound as the worst place in the world to get divorced in.

No 5* for me I do stay in Travelodge's and eat normal healthy meals in medium range restaurants.I feel opulence is not necessary for me just reasonable tidy good standards and value for money
Thanks Simon

simon-dupree

I don't actually feel as though this lady in my life is a bad person but I think she looks for security in a suitor and then finds love with a person that can provide that security and then pushes hard to consolidate it.Unfortunately in pushing hard to consolidate it she has spooked me and I just cannot come to terms with it.She always made me feel as though we wouldn't be happy until we were married and that felt wrong to me .I feel that to people should be happy together in or out of marriage and both feel marriage will enhance the relationship.She made out marriage and financial commitment was the relationship .It didn't feel right to me.She has i am afraid spoiled my chance of loving her as I want to (and probably as she wants to be loved) with this attitude .The damage has been done and I have actually called her bluff on the ultimatum and we have parted.

Then she has tried to come back because she is realising she is loosing a really good guy,I don't drink ,argue ,I have a good sense of humour (you have to have when you loose 3/4 million) I am good at fixing most things ,love doing housework and keeping everything tidy.I am a bit careful with my money and like the simple pleasures of life.I do stay in Travelodge's and eat normal healthy meals in medium range restaurants.I feel opulence is not necessary for me just reasonable tidy good standards and value for money.

Hope i havent shocked anyone too much.

Thanks Simon

Errata

So...........your financial health was more important than your emotional health. Fair enough. Give the woman a golden farewell, wish her well and let her get on with her life.

simon-dupree

Our emotional healthiness was being distorted by my apparent financial healthiness!!

Simon

Saver95

Do what is right for you!

Just getting along with someone and having a nice life can be enough sometimes, but some people often want marriage which can, for some people, result in the dilemma that you've got.

As somebody has already said, throw her ultimatum back at her! See how she likes it! If she really does love you e.t.c., she will accept your decision and will carry on with her life.

She obviously doesn't want to stay unmarried, but she has got to understand your point of view in all this.

Strapped

It sounds to me as though parting was the right decision.

My husband was badly burned by his divorce from his first wife and his family & friends thought he would never marry again. They couldn't believe it when he met me and we got engaged (or when we actually made it down the aisle). But hubby says he knew very quickly that he would marry me (and never regretted it ) Mind you, the decision was a bit easier for him as he lost EVERYTHING and then some (he got the debt, her the assets) so I definitely wasn't after his money.