Family Cat - PTS after 12 years

lisa110rry

My dear girl, she was not "just a cat", she was your cat. I have a 10 year old terrier and I'm beginning to think about that time when she is no longer here, already I'm sad to think that time must inevitably come.

As others have said, grief is incredibly important. Cry. It's good for you. You would be unusual if you did not cry at the loss of a dear friend you've had so long. But putting an animal to sleep when the symptoms are so severe was certainly the right thing to do - for the cat, if not for you.

Time will - eventually - heal, I promise.

shoppingnoodles

Oh Aileth, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. A few years ago I heard one of the Queen's speeches and a quote stayed with me; "grief is the price we pay for love".




My dear old cat of almost 17 is ailing and I suspect we will have to have him PTS sleep soon too, so I feel for you so very much. Your cat was a part of your family and it is only natural to grieve for them. Don't be too hard on yourself and when the tears come, let them. Big hugs to you and remember the lovely life you gave to your cat.

missblonde

I'm currently going through this exact same thing myself. I had my cat Milo put to sleep last saturday, he was 8 and a half years old. I've had him since he was 5 weeks old and he was my shadow - I've never known a cat like him with such a funny little personality and he used to sleep curled up in my hair.

He had been ill on and off for the last four years with pancreatitis and recently diagnosed with IBD. He stopped eating the weekend before last and blood tests indicated that it could be his liver - we were planning a treatment plan of action on the Friday night based around getting a feeding tube fitted the next day if he still wouldn't eat but needed more test results back on his heart and liver. Friday night he went downhill so quickly that when I went in first thing saturday morning it was the kindest thing for him for be put to sleep as tests showed both his heart and liver were failing. I think I kind of knew that night and we spent the whole night cuddle in bed with his sleeping in my arms.

I had him cremated and his ashes placed inside a little wooden cat (link here) which is now sat looking out down the road which was the place he always sat and waited for me to come home. I've also commissioned a shop on etsy to make me a little bracelet with his name and a hidden message inside.

Devastated isn't even the word for the feeling and I think today is the first day where I've not started sobbing randomly! Since collecting him I feel strangely comforted that its like he's back here with me and I know that eventually the happy memories will outweigh the sadness and emptiness.

Keep strong xxxx

Aldeney

aileth wrote: »

Thank you everyone. I had a good cry over reading everyone's lovely messages and their own stories, which I really needed.

My sister has suggested this ashes to glass website, which apparently can turn ashes into jewellery. I love the idea, although it's not very MSE at £300. Has anyone any experience of this site?

I'm afraid I have no experience of turning ashes into jewellery but I have heard of it and your pet crematorium may offer this service. I had some of my boys ashes put into a small silver heart shaped locket when we had him cremated. I wear it everyday, hardly take it off and it gives me an enormous amount of comfort as I feel like I have him with me were ever I go.

I'm so sorry you lost your girl, my thoughts are with you.

Murphybear

Big hug. It is sad losing a cat, grieving is normal.

We lost our boy Murphy (see avatar:D) nearly 2 years ago. He was from Cats Protection and was 14, we'd had him 8 years. My husband had never had a cat before and he still misses him. Our other cat Squeaky is now 12 and still going strong. She adores being an only cat so we won't get another one yet. I got a custom calendar made for last year with pictures of them both, he was touched and we now have a permanent souvenir.

More hugs

aileth

Thank you again everyone.

Her ashes will arrive at my parents house today. Thankfully I don't need to see them constantly as I would be a wreck. My sister has received the ashes to glass kit so think we will go ahead with that. She was a huge part of both of our lives growing up, so it would be nice to have a personal memento.

lisa110rry

aileth wrote: »

Thank you again everyone.

Her ashes will arrive at my parents house today. Thankfully I don't need to see them constantly as I would be a wreck. My sister has received the ashes to glass kit so think we will go ahead with that. She was a huge part of both of our lives growing up, so it would be nice to have a personal memento.

Trust me Aileth (lovely name by the way), in time your grief will fade little by little. Beware, however, of a thing called "four month grief". You start to think you're getting through it all then BAM it's suddenly so much worse. That's the time to start reading sad cat stories and poems and listening to sad music so that all the tears come flooding out and things start to heal again.

aileth

Well there's been a turn of events. We don't have the ashes. My dad went in to the vets today to find out effectively that they had forgotten about her and she was still stored at the vets. No explanation why. He managed to grab a partner and all hell let loose. He is waiving the cost of the cremation and is going to conduct an investigation, but just when I seemed to be recovering there's this blow, knowing that her body has just been sat or pushed to the side. She was put down at 6pm on a Friday, so the apparently professional vet obviously shoved her in back and went home. I'm appalled.

Iain_L

aileth wrote: »

Well there's been a turn of events. We don't have the ashes. My dad went in to the vets today to find out effectively that they had forgotten about her and she was still stored at the vets. No explanation why. He managed to grab a partner and all hell let loose. He is waiving the cost of the cremation and is going to conduct an investigation, but just when I seemed to be recovering there's this blow, knowing that her body has just been sat or pushed to the side. She was put down at 6pm on a Friday, so the apparently professional vet obviously shoved her in back and went home. I'm appalled.

Aileth, I agree, that's appalling, but when it hits you try to remember that you're all angry and upset because of your feelings.

The positive thought is that your cat, your family member, will have felt no pain, no discomfort, and not been upset at all by what has happened.

If possible, and I know it's early days, try to think of the good times, not what your father discovered yesterday.

Iain

System

I can only hope you managed to get some sleep; my heart goes with you.

When my lovely Mog (aged just 11) had to be PTS I really was bereft as I had brought her up from very early kitten-hood (she had a 'cat stroke' at just 6 months old, one eye becoming completely red, lost her miaow and walked round in circles for 10 days - I nursed her through it and she developed into the soppiest most adorable pud ever). When older she developed a growth in her throat, so in the end I felt it best to help her before things became too much for her.

What has happened to you is a disgrace. Thank goodness you have the memories of her happier times. I have a treasured painting of Mog above the mantel piece, cwtched (cuddled) up on our sofa with Smot (Spot) her toy dog. Rescue kitten Splodge has ignored Smot; daft as I am, I feel sad for him!

I know the loss is hard to bear at present. Your dad is a treasure and will sort things, as far as possible, thank goodness.