Family Cat - PTS after 12 years

catkins

So sorry to hear about your girl Aileth. The worst part of having a pet is losing them and I don't think people that have not been in that position really understand.


As others have said, just let yourself grieve for her, cry if you want to and don't try and keep it bottled up. I know at the moment you feel like you will never get over it but, believe me it does get easier. Everyone is different so no one can give you a time estimate.


We had to have our beautiful dog pts three years ago this month. He too was taken ill really suddenly. He was actually at the vet having an x-ray when we got the phone call to say he had such large tumours in his lungs he would have to be pts. We raced to the vet to say goodbye and, although I just about kept it together while I was with him, as we walked out of the vet's room I just started wailing and couldn't stop. OH was crying too and he never cries.


I cried every day for weeks and thought I would never get over it but eventually I could start to remember the good times and smile.


You gave your girl a lovely life, without your family she would have died and when she was ill you did the kindest thing you could for her.


I truly believe the animals go to another place and that now she will be running around free from pain like a young kitten again

chez22

Blue Cross have a pet bereavement support service, you can phone or email and speak to people who have personal experience of what you are going through


http://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss

jrtfan

That's a good thought, Chez22. I've heard from friends who've used Blue Cross bereavement services that they're very good.

You've reminded me - this may sound weird at first, please bear with me though because it's genuine!! - I'm a member of an online dog forum specifically for terrier owners, but there is peer support there for any bereaved owners if they need it (no need to join up). Aileth, if you might be interested then PM me and I'll reply with a link.

Rambosmum

Didn't want to read and run. Hugs to you. It is really horrible when a pet goes, even when you know that PTS is the best thing to do.

owlet

Sending big hugs to you. Our pets are members of the family & offer unconditional love. It's natural to grieve for them & it will take time. Allow yourself that time & don't beat yourself up about it.
Enjoy your memories & the good times you had with her xx

Lilyjade

I lost one of mine when he was almost five from a heart defect. We were told when he was less than a year that we would be lucky to have him another year, but by the time he reached 3 we kind of forgot he could go at any minute (no treatment would have been available). As it was he was a lazy boy and easily stressed and had a few blocked bladders. During this 3rd blocked bladder op his heart just gave out. I never forgave myself for not saying goodbye properly at the vets, we just assumed he have another op and be fine.

He wasn't just a cat or a pet, he was one of our family and even now, 4 years (and 3 cats) later I still cry for him. It's perfectly normal to grieve, for as long as you need. Everyone is different but we did a number of things that helped me.

- We have his ashes in a picture frame in our living room.
-We made a photo board of all my favourite pics of him and hung in the spare room
-We talked about all his funny quirks and cried and laughed
-We got another 2 kittens very soon after and named them after him (it's not right for everyone, but we had another cat whose behaviour altered after he went, so we had to get another very quickly for her sake)
-We started volunteering for a cat rescue, which we had never previously thought about, so we feel we are honouring his memory by helping others.

You rescued your girl and gave her an amazing and loved life, and you made the hardest decision because you loved her. Time will help, in the meantime grieve in the way that helps you no matter what other people think.

meritaten

hunny - she was a 'family member'! you had raised her from a baby and she was a feline 'sibling'. of course you will be grieving, just as much as if it was a human sibling. people who say 'its just a cat' have absolutely no experience of the bond between a pet and its 'family'.
I am so sorry - I have had to have two much loved cats PTS - you feel 'robbed' somehow, but have to realise that its the kindest thing you can do for a suffering animal.
She is now at peace and I hope that before too long you start remembering only the 'good times'.

aileth

Thank you everyone. I had a good cry over reading everyone's lovely messages and their own stories, which I really needed.

My sister has suggested this ashes to glass website, which apparently can turn ashes into jewellery. I love the idea, although it's not very MSE at £300. Has anyone any experience of this site?

jrtfan

It's good that you were able to cry and let out some of that grief, and you're certainly amongst like-minded people here from what I've been reading.

I can't help with the ashes to glass service, I'm afriad. Hopefully there will be somebody here who has dealt with them before though.

Iain_L

As others have said, there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling, and one day you'll be able to think back with fewer tears and more smiles, but it takes time.

All of us with pets as family members try to do the best we can to give them a good life, and sadly, sometimes that means a good end as well if we have to.

It reads to me as if you and your family have done that, and you can be proud of it.