how to make a life changing decision

double_mummy

thank you for your replies everyone

so after a long long long discussion with the kids dad he is very much for it and will be looking to move northwards to the kids towards the end of the year he had guessed that i would have been thinking about a move up there since we separated and was a lot more prepared for it than i thought he would be

until then we are going to alternate weekends so i will bring them down one weekend and he will come up and get them the other and he will stay at his mums with them for the weekend. we are going to buy our son a mobile to have specifically to call his dad (just a cheap £5 one) but it will be there all the time if he wants to speak to his dad at any point he can call him and his dad can leave him voicemails and text him and things also with skype they can still see him everyday even if it isnt in the flesh

i also had a quick chat with the boyfriend who has asked for me not to contact him for a couple of days to give him some time to think but that he really doesnt think something long distance would work even with me being down here every other weekend - we are both out for a mutual friends do on saturday so we are going to go to that together and then i will stay at his saturday then we will make a decision about me and him on sunday

so it looks like im moving up north YAY (well more north than i am now) so much time so little to do - actually strike that reverse it heheheheheheheheh

Anatidaephobia

double_mummy wrote: »

so after a long long long discussion with the kids dad he is very much for it and will be looking to move northwards to the kids towards the end of the year he had guessed that i would have been thinking about a move up there since we separated and was a lot more prepared for it than i thought he would be

That's great! Glad it worked out so well!

sidefx

Great news OP.

Let us know how the move goes. Good luck

heartbreak_star

Brilliant news, best of luck

HBS x

double_mummy

thanks everyone school applications are done and it is looking good for them both getting in to my first choice school

I have some interviews lined up for next week. I'm going to go up there and do 4/5 in a day.

I've got just over 2 weeks before I will have to give notice at work and for the house I'm in now

I'm all excited YAY :j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

Primrose

Thinking longer term into the future, if both your parents are still alive and you would be moving closer to them, perhaps ask yourself how you would cope if they become frail or ill when they are more elderly and needed more support. It will be far easier and less strain if you live close.

Everybody hopes this will never happen of course but it invariably does at some point and believe me, if you are working and having to do 100 mile journeys for this reason as well as having children to care for, it could make your future life much more complicated. Moving now to a cheaper area will also give yiu a better chance to save more money for your long term future.

PS. Edited to say just seen your latest post. Glad everything is falling into place for you

thorsoak

Primrose wrote: »

Thinking longer term into the future, if both your parents are still alive and you would be moving closer to them, perhaps ask yourself how you would cope if they become frail or ill when they are more elderly and needed more support. It will be far easier and less strain if you live close.

Everybody hopes this will never happen of course but it invariably does at some point and believe me, if you are working and having to do 100 mile journeys for this reason as well as having children to care for, it could make your future life much more complicated. Moving now to a cheaper area will also give yiu a better chance to save more money for your long term future.

PS. Edited to say just seen your latest post. Glad everything is falling into place for you

From OP's original post :- it is much closer to family and friends with 5 main family members living within a 5 mile radius including one who is retired and another who works from home who have offered to provide support over the holidays and if the kids are sick etc the actual property is larger and much nicer than the one i am in now and is very close to large parks and woods. there would be no financial cost to me moving as this could all be arranged by a family member up there. as it is north cost of living is also cheaper so i would have much more disposable income


She is moving closer to family!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Not to forget that you have some health issues and having more people around to help means you aren't as dependent upon one person. (Your ex).


100 miles is not far off a trip to the seaside. 65 miles London to Brighton takes about 45 minutes by train. And there aren't many who would refuse their kids a trip to the seaside for a day. To see dad is far more important. It used to take me over two hours to travel ten miles via London Transport for work each day. That's a reasonable amount of time (according to the job centre) to travel each way, every working day.


I think you're doing the best for the whole family - and glad your ex is so supportive.

double_mummy

thanks guys more practicalities been sorted throughout the day

and my health and that of the older members of the family was a big consideration of something happened to me or them then the network will already be there

and hopefully with the additional spare money I can think about saving for a house deposit before the kids leave home lol