Father's Day. Not even an acknowledgement....

lexington013

Single, weekend dad for the last 15 years. 2 kids, one lives away, (another country)have contact. One at home, both grown up now.
No cards, phone all or acknowledgement.
Don't expect much, never have done, but provided what a dad should over the years, emotionally and financially. Birthdays pretty much the same, although son (at home) did something when reminded that I had a birthday that weekend.
A txt, card or hug would have been enough.

xbrenx

Awww bless you.

The son that lives in another country may not even know that today is Father's Day, so you need to cut him some slack.

Can't say about the other though.

Sending you a virtual hug on their behalf.

j.e.j.

Are they both sons? Just asking, because boys are notoriously bad at giving cards or remembering birthdays, etc

Gigglepig

Just out of curiosity, did you raise them to make a fuss out of their mother on mothers day and for birthdays, for example buy presents and make cards and cake together for them to bring to her? If you didn't make a fuss out of these occasions when they were younger, maybe they don't think these occasions are important to you.

candlelight_2013

My dear Husband didn't receive anything from our younger daughter either, but there again she hasn't spoken to either of us in over a year.

I have given him a hug and sending you a virtual hug, the time will come when they are older and they start to think of different things, and there is nothing they can do to make it better.

Hugs Lexington

Candlelightx

Snakey

I suspect Gigglepig has it right. It's not a blame thing, just actions and consequences. People who've grown up in families where special occasions aren't treated as important - or where an effort is made for children, but not for adults - will generally not bother about these things, especially the artifical ones like Father's Day which a lot of people are quite cynical about (I think this is one of the days that was created by Hallmark for the sole purpose of getting people to buy their cards).

If the family tradition has always been to make cards, presents, call and text, come round, plan surprises, take you out for a special meal etc then to suddenly stop would be a big deal and suggest some sort of falling-out. But a family who's only ever had Mum buy a cheap card and get the kids to sign it... not so much.

Boys also get let off the hook for these things in a way that girls don't, which leads to the statement that "boys don't bother with things like that" becoming true. If you want them to do something for you, you need to make it clear what it is that you want - especially if they still expect presents on their birthdays and for Christmas. (OK boys, now we're all adults and Mum's not going to do these things for us any more, do you still want to bother with each other's birthdays, or not?) Difficult to do if you don't see each other though, I know.

Jagraf

Gigglepig wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, did you raise them to make a fuss out of their mother on mothers day and for birthdays, for example buy presents and make cards and cake together for them to bring to her? If you didn't make a fuss out of these occasions when they were younger, maybe they don't think these occasions are important to you.

It's a good point. I have no idea whether my DD has contacted her biological father today - she's 16 and its the first year I haven't reminded her to do so, the reason being he has never ever reminded her of Mother's Day (step dad has so I haven't missed out).

OP, kids are terrible at this, its to to with whether there is anyone in e background pushing them! Don't take it to heart x

Jagraf

candlelight_2013 wrote: »

My dear Husband didn't receive anything from our younger daughter either, but there again she hasn't spoken to either of us in over a year.

I have given him a hug and sending you a virtual hug, the time will come when they are older and they start to think of different things, and there is nothing they can do to make it better.

Hugs Lexington

Candlelightx

I don't know about that, I'm sure kids can be forgiven by their parents.

xbrenx

j.e.j. wrote: »

Are they both sons? Just asking, because boys are notoriously bad at giving cards or remembering birthdays, etc

hahaha reading this made me re-read the original post and I have no idea why but I assumed they were boys.

tattycath

I always remind our children about Father's Day, birthdays. I still remind my adult children about their father's and Grandma's birthday (we haven't been a couple for 15 years), but I still remind them and ask if they need money to get a card etc.
Hugs Lexington.

missbiggles1

tattycath wrote: »

I always remind our children about Father's Day, birthdays. I still remind my adult children about their father's and Grandma's birthday (we haven't been a couple for 15 years), but I still remind them and ask if they need money to get a card etc.
Hugs Lexington.

You offer money to adult children who can't afford a card - what's the point of that?