Biological parents: should I try finding them?

TBagpuss

MothballsWallet wrote: »

My adoption order was done through a Scottish court. Although it was about 26 years ago, I don't know if the council keeps their records this long (since, from other threads on here, there's no real national guidance or standard for such record keeping).

You mention talking to my wife about it: I have, and she's told me about Russian attitude to adopting and that she wouldn't bother if she was in my shoes.

But then, she would like us to have a child, so what if there's some hereditary medical condition on my side that I don't know anything about?

Thanks for all your answers so far, folks, they're much appreciated and giving me food for thought.

I was suggesting speaking to her so that you have her support in dealing with anything you may find out, or with diasppointment if you can't find out. Even if the council doesn't have records still, they may still provide services to assist, e.g. by acting as a mediator to contact your birth parents so you don't have to immediately disclose your address, for example.

I believe that it is very common for adopted adults to want to find their birth families when they start to think about having children, not just because of the issue of medical history but also because becoming a parent does tend to focus the mind on family relationships, continuity etc.

one thing to consider is whether you think you will regret not looking, if you don't go ahead now, bearing in mind that the longer you leave it, the greater the risk that the people able to tell you anything will die and the chance will be lost.

Good luck in whatever you chose to do.