Recently Married, New Job, babies - Help!

bossymoo

It might be worth considering waiting a while, you mention you won't be able to afford the bills without SMP? Is it worth holding off for say, a year? And saving up a little. Always good to have a bit of capital behind you before the littlies come along. Especially if there's a chance you might not go back to work for some time.
Although you do mention possibly surviving on husbands wage alone - do some more sums and look at your family budget. Babies don't have to be expensive if you're not fussed for all the branded gear. But they do get more costly as they grow!
Good luck!

Mojisola

bossymoo wrote: »

It might be worth considering waiting a while, you mention you won't be able to afford the bills without SMP? Is it worth holding off for say, a year? And saving up a little. Always good to have a bit of capital behind you before the littlies come along. Especially if there's a chance you might not go back to work for some time.

It can be a very useful exercise to live off partner's income and what you'd get as maternity pay.

Put the rest of your wages into a savings account.

You'll soon see whether you can manage on the lower income (the Debt-free board people will offer lots of suggestions for reducing outgoings). It's easier to learn how to live on a lower income when you actually have a bit extra for weeks when it doesn't work properly. By the time baby comes, it will come naturally and you'll have some savings for baby stuff.

Buzzybee90

I think everyone is being so harsh to the OP.

Especially as this is one of the most common maternity/pay questions.

So she should put her ambition to earn more because she may have a baby? Well, she also might not straight away so who knows how long it will take. If offered, I'd take the job, work there for 6 months and start trying.

bagpussbear

My first gut feeling when I read the OP's dilemma was that this doesn't feel morally right, to take a job with the intention of leaving to go on maternity not long after.

However, at the end of the day the OP has to look after her own interests, her family and this job would bring in more money to put towards buying things her baby would need. I do see why she want to take the new job, given it pays £2K extra a year.

At the end of the day there is no guarantee the OP would fall pregnant straight away. If she doesn't take the job (if offered) and then spends 18months trying to get pregnant she would be kicking herself for not taking the job and earning a bit more money during that time.

In an ideal world the OP could wait say 6 months before trying to conceive, and then by the time she goes off on maternity would have least put a fair bit of her services to the employer. OP would you want to go back to work after the baby?

However, this world is not black and white one - equally the employer could make the OP redundant soon after she started, they wouldn't hang onto someone they could not afford because it didn't feel morally right she'd only been there a short time!

I can see both the OP's side and the employer's side on this one.

LottieLou

I also think people are being harsh on the OP.

Like Buzzybee90 said, I would also start the new job work there for 6 months. Save during those 6 months, build relationships in your new job and decide what you want to do regarding the bigger house.

Also, it gives you the opportunity to get your body ready, start taking vitamins, folic acid etc if you are not already.

I understand the advice some people have given you, but things don't always go to plan, there could be many bumps along the way. So I would not hold out too long to start trying, but make sure you are happy with the other aspects of you're life - job, money, house etc to bring another life into it.

Edit: for the average couple it takes 8 months or 8 period cycles to conceive. If the OP waits 6 months, she could potentially be in the job a year or over anyway before maternity leave would need to be considered (so not too bad on the employer)

j.e.j.

fierystormcloud wrote: »

So you're planning on starting a new job, but trying to find out how soon you can leave and claim maternity leave?

Are you for real?

Are you planning on telling the people this at the interview? That you intend to leave, and milk them of maternity pay as soon as you are legally able to do so?

I am glad you're not coming for a job at our company.

I think I'll go get some popcorn. :cool:

Well.. I didn't wanna say, but I think this is the reason why a lot of employers are (unofficially, of course) reluctant to take on women of child-bearing age. They're in the job 5 minutes then announce they're up the spout and wanting time off and maternity pay, etc.

I've actually had a potential employer ask me at an interview if/when I was going to have a family ( :eek: ) so presumably he had encountered this kind of attitude before.

But as far as I know, regarding the maternity pay, the employer doesn't have to cough up. The only thing she would be entitled to by law would be SMP which is paid for by the government.

clarabell1984

*~Zephyr~* wrote: »

The way you worded this suggests that you think SMP is paid by Government, but it's not. .

j.e.j. wrote: »

. The only thing she would be entitled to by law would be SMP which is paid for by the government.

Ok this is even more confusing now - these two quotes are contradicting each other

Anyway, I appreciate the comments everyone has made, and I have decided not to go to the interview on Friday.

I had a long conversation with the husband at lunchtime and we have decided that it really isn't the right time for me to move jobs since we don't really know what will happen in the near future.

So i'll just need to suck it up for now :rotfl:

Lunar_Eclipse

Congratulations on your recent marriage.

On the basis that you're not pregnant and don't even know if you can have children, I would go to the interview and carry on with life decisions based on your circumstances today.

It would be foolish to turn down a job you'd enjoy if you find out that you will not be having children.

Great to think these things through, but ultimately make balanced decisions based on knowledge and plans you have today. There is a high chance you will still be childless in a year's time, possibly considerably more. And a year in an admin job like you describe is a decent length of time.

Gigglepig

i'd say go for it OP. And don't feel the least bit bad about it.

1) precisely when you conceive is not your decision. It doesn't work like that. If you stay where you are, your career will be at a stand still. It could take years.

2) Take the opportunity to move on while you can - it might be harder once you have children, if you need part time hours or can no longer travel for work etc etc. My advice would be to go for it - try for a bigger step up than 2k if you can now while you can.

3) loyalty does not necessarily pay off. After you have a baby you might be overlooked for promotion, or worst case one of the unlucky ladies whose employers lay them off shortly before/during/after maternity leave. This has to so many people I know, in my maternity group of 8-9 women, 3 were made redundant within their baby turning 18 months. According to this article, 1 out of 7 are laid off after maternity leave http://www.theguardian.com/law/2013/mar/09/women-on-maternity-leave-illegal-discrimation

4) the system is not your fault. Some countries base maternity pay on that you have been working and paying your taxes minimum x months out of the last y months, employer is relevant. It seems so arbitrary that here in the uk it is tied to a specific employer. You are not trying to get a freebie, you are working and will be working. If you happen to get pregnant shortly after moving jobs then so be it. Personally I think the system should be changed.

Eta please don't let the people on here guilt trip you and stopping you from doing something that you think would be good for your career and family

missbiggles1

clarabell1984 wrote: »

I only wanted to know what my options were, not to come on here and get slated.

If that's what they would do then I don't think I would want to work for that company. Everybody should be treated the same

The trouble is, in future, they will be.:(