Is my ex seeing someone else?

photogifts

Hard situation when the heart wants what the heart cant have, if only we could switch our feelings off like a switch sometimes. It is fine to feel all your emotions you are feeling at present and it is a big moment for you to know if she is seeing someone else after your time together.

But as you know deep down as annoying and painful it might be she has to be left to it and its her business, don't be a painful ex to her and lose any respect between you. as some other people have pointed out make sure you are doing stuff to distract yourself, I know it is all easier said than done, we feel what we feel, but you need to try other things so your not sitting around going insane. whats to be in life will be good luck!

hazyjo

Gawd, been there, and seen a friend go through it. There's something inbuilt in most of us that sends us mental when a recent ex moves on. I dumped someone once - OMG he was such a child and actually had really upset me by his behaviour - and this girl snapped him up. It sent me slightly crazy! I felt like a mad stalker and even sent her a message saying truthful but not nice things about him (she'd actually been flirting with him and 'buying' him on some stupid FB thing at the time I was with him. Honestly, he had me behaving like a teenager, it was all so ridiculous when I look back. I was 10 years older than him, but the gap felt MUCH bigger).


My friend saw this bloke knowing he was going back to India. Said she was cool with it. When he went, she found out he was getting married. Talk about crazy. She was pretty much clinically insane over it all for probably a couple of years. She was off sick, depressed, seeing counsellors, ringing and screaming down the phone at all hours, finding her details, hounding her, speaking with his parents, stalking his FB and other stuff via the internet. She went absolutely mental. I did try to keep reminding her that actually she always knew he was going back, and that she did nothing but moan about him when she was with him and kept saying she was glad he was going. Glenn Close had nothing on her...


Try to step back and think about what you'd advise a friend if they were in your shoes.


Trust me when I say it's unhealthy and will only get worse.


Jx

ttoli

Believe you me , staying close friends doesn't work and if she were that close to you, she'd have mentioned it to you ??? , I see my Ex out with her new man and realise that I had a lucky escape, unfriend her on FB , whatsapp etc and most importantly MOVE ON , She clearly has

Best of luck

marisco_2

ttoli wrote: »

Believe you me , staying close friends doesn't work and if she were that close to you, she'd have mentioned it to you

I disagree. Most likely the closeness this lady has with the OP is because she trusts him to accept that she will move on and lead a full private life. If she picks up on his feelings then she may well choose to distance herself from now on.

Reggie_Rebel

Never remain close, even when the relationship is ongoing. I've been married twenty years, if we had remained close it would have lasted two.

dragonette

Im best friends with one of my exes, one that I can trust not to be an idiot and who accepts my new relationship. Other exes, well one has threatened to force me to talk to her as I cut contact due to boundary issues!

Remain distant, till things settle. Then you can know if a friendship will work. If you continue to think of them as an ex rather than a friend, move on

catoutthebag

U

Delree wrote: »

This is a crushing situation for me, but here goes.

We split up in the summer (ages ago I know) but we remain close. Or did until this weekend. She's been very secretive about what she was doing this weekend and when her brother brought it up earlier tonight she shut the conversation down.

I heard that she made out with another guy at a works leaving do in April (yeah we work together) and now my head is full of this.

I know I'm imagining the worst but it's driving my crazy.

She obviously doesn't want to say anything but I need to know. I know I could just ask but I don't think she'd tell me. She's so worried about upsetting people.

I'm going round the bend. Sorry.

You must be in your teens?

Andehh

Take it out on yourself at the gym (a break up is about the best motivator to really push yourself), then get on tinder......lower your standards!

It sucks but we have all had to go through it, one of those crappy life lessons that stings like hell but you look back & smile when it does pass!

makingplans4nigel

Have you tried listening to The Smiths?

gabriel1980

I'd want to know too, if you don't mind my asking who split up with who? Was it a mutual decision? Personally I find remaining friends with exes is not a good idea, makes the pain last longer and jeopardises future relationships.