Advice needed for difficult situation

fairy_lights

I could maybe understand your parents using their influence in your workplace to cause problems, but how exactly have they turned your friends and family against you? Surely people can make their own minds up about what to believe, unless your parents are masters of manipulation and all round evil geniuses.

sheramber

What is your job?

What are your qualifications?

You can look for jobs in other areas and move when you find one.

Andypandyboy

I think you are seeing this from the perspective of someone who is too close and too enmeshed in the situation to see the bigger picture. Whatever the industry people only have so much influence, you feel that they have much more clout than they really do. You can be your own person if you want to.

Step back and take stock. Ask yourself why your parents are behaving this way? What is it they want from you or hope to achieve? I would be interested to hear what their motivation is too. Are you sure you are not overstating the issues here?

Is there one person in your life you can trust? An old friend, tutor from univerity, godparent, anyone? Contact them and ask for their help.

Then make plans, moving into a live in job in a pub in a tourist area is a good stop gap measure whilst you make longer term plans.

anonymous754

Many thanks to all for the further replies. I think I do just need to take the plunge and get out of here. I can assure you that I'm not paranoid, and looking back I can see this has been going on for a long time, but only really kicked off once I moved out.

I do come from a pretty dysfunctional family, and I think I may be my family's scapegoat. As to my parents' motivations, I think envy is their motive, and that is what has been implied by people at work. I'd rather not say too much about my employer or my industry, but it is in the public sector.

I think I need to start over somewhere else and try and build a new life, which is quite daunting...

DigForVictory

Anyone who goes to University knows it's a big step, so maybe if you were to get into education you'd be amongst others forging new paths? Comfort of a sort.
It's unusual to be "leaving home" later but not that unusual that you'll be gawked at like a giraffe.

Think of the new life as empowering, rather than daunting - the limiting factors will include ones you bring with you, so you may want to figure out what to jettison with some force.
All the best of luck!

amistupid

anonymous754 wrote: »

Marisco - I haven't sought legal advice because there's no way I can prove any of this, and I doubt the police would be very interested.

Correctamundo.

barbarawright

anonymous754 wrote: »

Hi All,
I'd appreciate some advice for a very difficult situation I find myself in. I'm in my early 30s, and work for a large organisation in the UK. The problem concerns my parents, who are very controlling, and have influence within this organisation. The problems have been going on for a long time, but really got worse when I moved out of home last year, and all hell broke loose.

I have been bullied almost constantly at work, have lost all my friends and family, and have been cut off from any professional opportunities or networks. I've been the subject of smear campaigns, had my phone and internet use monitored, and have been shunned by my neighbours. Any prospects in my chosen career seem to be dead, as it seems that all other employers in my industry have been put off, and I'm unable to move jobs.

My parents' main aim seems to be to prevent me from meeting a partner, and from having a career. Great efforts have been made to suggest that I am gay, which I am not, and they have also tried to force me into a relationship with a woman at work, which I didn't want. I also think they want me to move back home, and basically write off any future I may have had. They are very powerful and well-connected, and seem to have an amazing ability to recruit others to their cause.

I really don't know what to do now, as I don't seem to have any good options. I have no support network, no contacts, and nowhere to turn. An option I'm considering is moving to the other end of the country and then trying to find work, but I don't know how wise that would be. I do have savings, and a good level of education, but I worry that my parents/employers influence could lead to me not being able to find anything. I've also looked at opportunities abroad, but that seems difficult unless you have medical/engineering qualifications, which I don't.

Does anyone have any advice for how I can move forward from this? Speaking to my parents is pointless as they just deny everything. I've come close to suicide from this, though I'm doing ok at the moment, which is frankly a miracle considering everything I've been through.

Many thanks for any advice.

How do your parents prevent you from making friends or meeting a partner?. I have hardly met any of my friends' parents and then not until they were my friends so if the parents did try to badmouth them, I would probably already know they were bonkers. Like others, I think you are ascribing power to them that they simply don't have

anonymous754

I wouldn't say they're stopping me completely but it's very difficult as I don't know who to trust. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Anyway thanks for all the replies, which have clarified things for me.