one day at a time

maddiemay

Didn't want to read and run so just sending hugs for now.
Xx

Seasidegal58

I’m so pleased your poor mum is recovering from her operation. It must have been so worrying for you both, plus all the extra aggravation you are going through with ex.

Your holiday sounds like it is coming along at just the right time for you - getting yourself away will do you the world of good and then you will have your fresh start for the new year.

Keep positive safehouse.

SSG x

Flying_By

Sending love and hugs, Safehouse. Hope it won't be too long before you and DS can remove yourselves from the aggravation that your ex is creating. I am so impressed and pleased to hear that your DS is doing so well at university. He has really stepped up brilliantly and so glad that he is discovering his own potential and gaining such confidence. Absolutely brilliant, considering what has been going on. xx

safehouse

Thanks everyone in need of all these love & hugs at the moment they really do help.
I am trying to look at all the positives and mainly that my lovely Dmamma has her operation over and has booked a little holiday for herself and her boyfriend or who Dmammy calls her "very good fiend" Lol.... you see there is still hope for me haha look at my Dmamma romance at 82 years of age....not that I am even remotely thinking of jumping into another relationship at this time Oh No no no
Then my wonderful son he has amazed me over the years plugging away and not allowing anything or anyone to grind him down, yes your summary of DS was spot on thankyou flyby x
I have so much to be thankful for so I wish I could just pull myself together and stop blubbering, I really am just like a broken tap Lol.
Sold a bag this morning first one in days....not a massive profit, but a boost all the same, I liked your idea Lucky to give myself a target, very good way to look at it....my goals for the future would be to open my own little vintage shop selling bags, purses and the like....something to focus on and work towards...get rid of my mop and bucket once and for all.
I have been trying to look at my finances at long last (has only taken me 3 months), what savings I have left and what I owe ....so much has changed I don't know were to start but I need to get a grip and stop dwelling on what I cannot change and instead focus on the future.
I think I have roughly 50k left in savings for my self and DS after I have given ex OH his final cut.
Then there is the equity in the house....I have insisted this goes 3 ways and OH has agreed, giving myself and DS another 50-60k so enough to buy another house outright (I will be putting the house in joint names and make a will so the house will eventually go to DS ).
I need to get some sound financial advice and work out finances without the approx attached.
Still being very careful on what I spend, my food bill has dramatically dropped, hoping I will see a drop in gas, electric etc as ex OH was never careful and we always had massive bills when he lived here.
Even cut down a 8 foot very wonky tree all by myself the other day after receiving a £85 quote from local gardener and that was without taking the blooming thing away....doesn't look to great piled in the middle of my front lawn but I reckon if chopped into smaller pieces over 8 weeks and squashed into the brown bin.....a grand cost of £0
Wow I have had a good babble this morning.............Hope everyone is not fed up of my constant personal issues, I know this site is all about money saving and I do tend to air my dirty washing ... I will get back into my saving when things get better....in fact I did put £20 into my savings account only Monday last week .
Oh well off to work I go, horrible house to clean, well horrible area but its empty atleast and I finish at 12pm, must take my marigolds the mix of cold weather and hands constantly in water are making my fingers crack.
Happy Sunday everyone X

System

Safehouse , your diary is an inspiration to anyone reading it. I think it will take time for you to get everything sorted out even though you may wish it go faster.

You do sound though as you know where you are heading and have formulated a plan in your head .

I think you and DS have a lot to look forward to even if it seems like a mountain at the moment , you will eventually come down the other side.

I hope your mum bounces back from her op and her and her gentleman friend enjoy their break.

Keep posting.

Skinnylatte

So good to hear from you. I know it's not all good, but there is much to be positive about. You've been strong for so long, having the odd wobble now is only to be expected.
I now when I was going through a terrible time years ago, it was my DS that kept me going, he was so strong and positive, when all I wanted to do was drive my car of the nearest bridge, he sort of showed me the way. So glad to hear yours is doing well. You're out of all that toxic c**p now .
Looking forward to hearing more xxx :grouphug:

MissShoes

Have caught up on recent events SH.

You are amazing.

LOVE the bags idea.

So happy DS is doing so well.

Look after yourself- and enjoy every minute of that holiday.

Idea for when you're away on holiday- have the locks changed to stop OH getting in?

Shoes xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've just read the beginning and end of your diary Safehouse and I think you're AMAZING :T.

You've spent years coping with an awful situation, looking after your son, keeping the house clean, going to work and as if that's not enough you've saved all that money :j. I'm seriously impressed with your courage, determination and strength :T.

I'm so glad you will have enough money to buy a house for you and your DS to live in. I know it's hard for you to sell your current home, but maybe a fresh start is what you need.

Good luck with everything, you are so inspirational .

safehouse

Thankyou for your lovely comments Hairy hands (missed your post) and thankyou everyone............xxxxxxxx
Terrible few months since my last post. My Dmamma was taken into hospital, she was very poorly.
The next day her Dpartner of 21 years passed away heart failure, I had been ringing him constantly to check on him but he had already passed away ( he adored my DMamma and I think the worry of her going into hospital may have contributed)....I am crying now whilst typing he was loved dearly. My DMamma was in hospital for four days and during this time we couldn't tell her what had happened her blood pressure was dangerously high and we were waiting until she was strong enough to cope with the shock, it was terrible keeping such a secret especially when she would ask us to pass on a message or ask how he was. Since then I have had a funeral to arrange and his little flat to sort through.... although not blood related we were his true family....I really cannot put into words how devastated we are, my DS thought of him as a grandfather figure and so took the news very badly. My beautiful mamma is trying to keep strong but she is missing him terribly. I cancelled the holiday, not wanting to leave my DMamma and think I might have cried a river.

Ex OH has been an absolute selfish Sh** thinking only of himself even now.......Quote "people change so you learn to let go" Marilyn Monroe and so very true love that quote.
Sorry to write such a depressing post at Xmas feeling lower than ever this evening.

Received PPI £5,560 from mortgage last week. Went through PPI company and have been charged £1,760 for the pleasure....that said still very welcome windfall. I haven't told OH as yet, he is still not working most days and wasting money on his usual poison, also still not contributing so I have no guilt. I have put main chunk in DS account and will think about what to do after Xmas.....The money seems so irrelevant and unimportant at the moment.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas and I hope to update soon with much happier news. Still working hard on my cleaning and bag sales and determined to win through....Happy Christmas and God Bless you all

System

Sorry to hear the news about your mums partner . Your mum is so lucky you are there and are so strong . I hope 2018 is a much better year for you and your son. The PPI I am sure will be welcomed by you . Take care x