Playdate ettiquette

pinkshoes

My 4 year old has lots of play dates, but there is one particular friend where I prefer to go to their house rather than have them here, as he gets EVERYTHING out!

It is impossible to play with so many toys at once, and you need space to play, so getting everything out is pointless. My DS (4) has to keep his own playroom tidy - his weekend chore.

I would be horrified if DS started tipping lots of boxes out at someone elses house, and I would ask him to tidy some toys up before getting more out. I also insist he helps tidy at the end of the play date.

Obviously if the host said "no that's fine", then I would leave it, but this is yet to happen!!!

Jagraf

Wait til they are teens and they get every bit of make up out, all the clothes out if the wardrobe, and eat everything in the fridge. Oh and stay awake all night so the child you are supposed to look after ones home exhausted and looking like the scream

Relax. It gets worse the pets thing aside.

gayleygoo

vroombroom wrote: »

Wow. What did you say? Any child who hit or kicked my pets would be straight out the door.

The child was only 3, and his mum was standing beside me so I didn't want to be cross, and I thought she'd discourage him. I managed a weak "no, don't hit the cat" It was OH who saw him kick the bunny and brought him inside then. I have properly scolded my own children when they've been rough or unkind to an animal (thankfully never really on purpose), but I couldn't yell at someone else's small child when they're in the same room. Lesson learned though, next time I will be more assertive since their parents saw nothing wrong with it.

Off to google that theory!

Metranil_Vavin

gayleygoo wrote: »

The child was only 3, and his mum was standing beside me so I didn't want to be cross, and I thought she'd discourage him. I managed a weak "no, don't hit the cat" It was OH who saw him kick the bunny and brought him inside then. I have properly scolded my own children when they've been rough or unkind to an animal (thankfully never really on purpose), but I couldn't yell at someone else's small child when they're in the same room. Lesson learned though, next time I will be more assertive since their parents saw nothing wrong with it.

Off to google that theory!

I would have been less than polite to the parent. What sort of moron stands there and lets their 3 year old kick a cat and a bunny???

balletshoes

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

I would have been less than polite to the parent. What sort of moron stands there and lets their 3 year old kick a cat and a bunny???

i have to say if i saw anyone in my home hitting or kicking a pet (or a person) I'd be like "woah what are you doing?" out loud in front of everyone there.

GracieP

The saga continues. She was over for another playdate yesterday. Tbh, I'm almost not sure how that happened as she asked during the week if I wanted to do a playdate at the weekend and she'd make us lunch. I agreed and then she dropped the bomb that lunch would be at my house! I was sort of floored by this and felt a bit backed into a corner.

I prepared a bit in advance and put all my son's toys that have small pieces, like his jigsaws away in my bedroom. (Just to add here, my friend and her 3yo son was over twice since that last playdate and I never felt a need to have done this. I also had a couple of little boys from down the street over to play one evening - first time, with no parents present - and this was not an issue.) I also let her know that I'd be visiting my grandmother at 4pm, so would need her to leave by 3.30pm at the latest. She wasn't very happy about that as she said she'd hoped to spend the whole day with us but she was arriving at 12pm and I think that's more than long enough. I felt an awful lot better about things as nothing with small pieces were being tossed about and that we had an end time set. As it turned out, the boys played a lot in the garden so at first I thought everything was pretty good. Then I went to the toilet.

She is getting her little boy to use the potty by himself and tells him to take himself to the bathroom when ever he needs to go. He had been in a couple of times before I went and she had also gone to the toilet in between. When I got in there the whole place was covered in urine. It's was in puddles all over the floor, the walls around the toilet were wet with it. The toilet seat and outside of the toilet were all covered in it. I cleaned up and said nothing. The next time the little boy went to the toilet I went to the bathroom after he came out and the place was in a state again. I cleaned up again and mentioned it to her. She laughed and said he keeps forgetting to put his penis into the potty, so the urine goes all over. And that he isn't very good at tipping the potty into the toilet either. Fair enough, that's probably common enough but surely in that case you'd either help him out when in someone else's house or clean up after him as soon as he's done? I know that's what I'd do in that situation.

LannieDuck

Wow. I think I'd have to tell her straight that she needs to clean it up. I guess I might lose the friendship over it, but she's not going to take a hint.

Kaye1

GracieP wrote: »

And that he isn't very good at tipping the potty into the toilet either. Fair enough, that's probably common enough but surely in that case you'd either help him out when in someone else's house or clean up after him as soon as he's done? I know that's what I'd do in that situation.

What? I never expected my children to empty their own potty!


1. Recipe for disaster re: spillage
2. It's not prison slop out time.


Don't get me wrong, I do expect my children to tidy/help out but not slop out their potty.

HB58

Kaye1 wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, I do expect my children to tidy/help out but not slop out their potty.

But surely you would do it for them, not leave someone else to clear up the mess?

Actually, I see nothing wrong with a child emptying their own potty (if they are able to do so). I don't see any element of prison, simply them clearing up after themselves.

teaandcakeaddict

She sounds like a nightmare, if I were you I'd be tactfully distancing myself. She isn't taking the hint, and you don't know her well enough to be blunt with her about her behaviour. She sounds exactly like my sister, who brings her little Tasmanian devil to my house then sits back on the sofa on her phone the whole time while her daughter trashes the place, bullies and excludes my son, screams at and hits my cat, makes my daughter cry, helps herself to food, NEVER does as she's told. She will come in the morning and stay until bedtime, at which point my kids are thoroughly fed up and overwhelmed. It is simply lazy parenting.

I am not a control freak, I don't mind mess but emptying draws etc is where I draw the line. When my kids are in other people's houses I hover like a helicopter to make sure they are behaving themselves. She sounds like she has no respect for your home or your choices, if you would like morning visits you shouldn't have to explain yourself, she is after all a guest in your home!