Angry at myself

FBaby

It depends on many factors age being one of them. OH said the words 1 month after we met for the first time and I was over the moon because I felt the same and knew he was the one. He later said he too knew already by then. The reality though is that if we had met 20 years later both would have freaked out at hearing the words so earlier on (him more than me!).

People develop feelings at different speed. Same as anger. For some it boils and explodes get quickly for others it brews for a long time both can be destructible just like both speeds can be constructive when it comes to love.

marisco_2

trixini wrote: »

I feel like a total idiot and truth be told I am slightly heart broken.

To my mind you are over reacting to a guy who is talking total sense and who feels confident enough around you to be upfront and honest. He hasn't called things off between you just subtly suggested that you both take things at a sensible pace and get to know each other better. Nowt within that to get upset over or feel heartbroken and hurt.

tattycath

Mr tattycath and I knew very early on that we were in love and 'right for each other'. We started living together very quickly. We have been together several years and are still besotted with each other.
I wouldn't worry if I were you, maybe he's just a bit surprised as others have said.

makeitstop

jaylee3 wrote: »

Maybe it *is* a personal thing, I just know that if a man I was dating told me he loved me after 4 weeks, you would not see me for dust.

Well, I guess that it may depend on the individuals in question, how much of the time (of the four week period) they spent in each others company and the experiences you had together within that timeframe.

The statement that you would run a mile if someone told you they loved you after knowing you for a month says more about you than it does about the person saying it. It comes across as a black and white rule you would live by, no matter what. If you met what appeared to be the perfect partner that you were besotted with, you would run your mile if they told you they loved you.?...regardless of the fact that there was completely nothing else to suggest there was anything but happiness ahead.?

Well done.

trixini

Thank you all so much. Sorry I wasn't online this morning, I was out of the house.

Thank god he hasn't ran away to Brazil, he's such a sweet guy. I totally get what you've said about how do I know after such a short time. I just do. I have been single for a long time, been on so many dates but nothing ever really clicked. We click.

I'll keep it zipped from now on and wait until he makes the next move so to speak x

JaniceS

I think it is possible to know very quickly that you love someone. Might not happen with everyone you date, but possible. If someone told me in the first hour that they loved me Id run for the hills screaming but after a few weeks if I felt the same I'd be quite happy to hear it.

catkins

jaylee3 wrote: »

I think he is right that you can't know you love someone after 4 weeks. There is food in my fridge that has been there longer than 4 weeks!

Hopefully you haven't scared him away, but to be honest, if a man I was dating told me he loved me after 4 weeks, I would run a mile. Maybe he is different. (Hopefully he is.)

I have to ask, what were you thinking?! Saying the L word after 4 weeks?!

Play it cool now, and don't hound him or hassle him. Maybe he will calm down and cool off and realise it was a heat of the moment thing, and that you're not already picking out wedding dresses!

My now OH told me he loved me after about 3 weeks and then proposed after about 5 weeks.


We got married 5 months after meeting and have been happily married for over 34 years.


We did though see each other every day after our first date even if only for a short time. OH worked shifts at the time and would come and meet me for breakfast or lunch if he couldn't see me in the evening because of work

Jagraf

I absolutely knew I loved my OH (send husband) almost immediately. He took longer and was more cautious than me.

I hasten to add that comparably I realise looking back I never loved my first husband who I was with for over 15 years.

Jagraf

jaylee3 wrote: »

Maybe it *is* a personal thing, I just know that if a man I was dating told me he loved me after 4 weeks, you would not see me for dust.

Can I ask why? We make decisions about all kinds of things, important things, because we have an instinct. Not always but sometimes.

Errata

trixini wrote: »

Thank you all so much. Sorry I wasn't online this morning, I was out of the house.

Thank god he hasn't ran away to Brazil, he's such a sweet guy. I totally get what you've said about how do I know after such a short time. I just do. I have been single for a long time, been on so many dates but nothing ever really clicked. We click.

I'll keep it zipped from now on and wait until he makes the next move so to speak x

There's not much else you can do now you've put all your cards on the table.