Civil ceremony in a Chapel/Church?

onlyroz

tea_lover wrote: »

Er...the difference is that God isn't part of a civil ceremony. That's about as fundamental a difference as you can get. I'm really amazed that you can't see that.

Well yes, that much is obvious, but what part does God play? In both ceremonies you end up with two people committing to each other for life. The only difference I can see is that God gives his nod of approval in a church ceremony.

So what's so terrible about conducting the first 3/4 of the ceremony and just missing out the nod from God? How is that worse than encouraging non-believers to lie about their faith?

Georgiegirl256

onlyroz wrote: »

Perhaps you can explain to me what is so different about a civil and a Christian wedding ceremony, and what is so abhorrent about the former.

This is an American site http://www.foreverwed.com/articles/civil/45628b.html but it explains it well. I'm sure there's plenty of other sites too, but that's one of the first ones I came across.

Regarding the words said at the ceremonies, there is a HUGE difference between civil and religious.

Also, it's not going to increase membership. Anyone going into a religious setting and specifically asking for a civil ceremony, is obviously not religious and is not planning to be.

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Perhaps you can explain to me what is so different about a civil and a Christian wedding ceremony, and what is so abhorrent about the former.

I thought this explanation might help.

"For Christians marriage is much more than a social contract between two people. It is seen as representing the marriage between Christ and his bride, The Church. As such, marriage is indissoluble and life-long. The preface to the marriage service says,
"No-one should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly in the sight of Almighty God".
There is clearly much more to Christian marriage than "booking your church for my wedding" as one recent caller from New York put it!"

onlyroz

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Also, it's not going to increase membership. Anyone going into a religious setting and specifically asking for a civil ceremony, is obviously not religious and is not planning to be.

Some of the guests might be sitting on the fence, or perhaps haven't been to church in a while, and could be swayed back into the fold though.

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I don't really think that this is the time or the place for a theology lesson, sorry.

I didn't ask for a theology lesson - I just want to know what is so repulsive about a civil ceremony that categorically rules it out from ever being conducted in a church.

Georgiegirl256

onlyroz wrote: »

Well yes, that much is obvious, but what part does god play? In both ceremonies you end up with two people committing to each other for life. The only difference I can see is that God gives his nod of approval in a church ceremony.
?

Seriously? You did not just ask that did you?! :rotfl:

Peter333

tea_lover wrote: »

I think it could be considered hypocritical, in some respects. On the one hand people are saying "we don't believe what you're saying, we don't think your buildings or your services or your traditions are special". Then on the other hand saying "but they're special enough for me to want to use bits of them for my wedding".

Surely it's one or the other? One of the reasons I wouldn't want to use a synagogue or a mosque for my wedding is precisely because I don't share their beliefs. No matter how glorious the building, I wouldn't feel comfortable as I know I don't hold those beliefs.

So to me, wanting a wedding in a church building without holding any Christian beliefs could be seen as hypocritical, as well as potentially offensive.

I agree. Most Christians I know would be rather miffed if people simply wanted to 'use' the Lord's house just to get a few pretty pictures, whilst refusing to let religion be mentioned. I have never heard the likes of it. As some have said, would any other religion tolerate this? No.

onlyroz wrote: »

So why are churches happy to conduct marriage ceremonies for people who have never previously attended church then? Not because they are desperate for more bums-on-seats and a bit of extra cash?

Well the Church near me won't let anyone just use them for their Church wedding for 'a bit of cash;' they have to be regular Church goers.

There is a LOT of ignorance on this thread (from some) about the Christian faith. No, it is NOT acceptable for a CIVIL ceremony to be performed in a Christian Church. As a few others have said, I can't believe people don't get this!!!!!

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

I didn't ask for a theology lesson - I just want to know what is so repulsive about a civil ceremony that categorically rules it out from ever being conducted in a church.

Sorry. I changed my post to try to be more helpful.

Torry_Quine

firebird082 wrote: »

There is no requirement for the marrying couple to believe, or call themselves Christian to marry in their local parish church though - my understanding is that any couple is welcome to marry either in their own parish church, or at a church they have a strong connection with (either via family, or by attending themselves). But if you do it in the church, the service involves God.

We went to a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, held in the bride's parent's home church. Bride and Groom removed as much reference to God from the service as possible (total non-believers), and had the service there only for the bride's mother! Bit crazy if you ask me, but there you go. The church obviously didn't have a problem with it however...

Not all churches have that requirement to marry anyone who asks and is living in the area. My church will only marry Christians to each other.

onlyroz wrote: »

Well yes, that much is obvious, but what part does God play? In both ceremonies you end up with two people committing to each other for life. The only difference I can see is that God gives his nod of approval in a church ceremony.

So what's so terrible about conducting the first 3/4 of the ceremony and just missing out the nod from God? How is that worse than encouraging non-believers to lie about their faith?

It's not about God giving nod! :mad: It's about making your promises to God, who to believers is of far more importance than anyone else there.

No-one is encouraging anyone to lie about what they do or do not believe.

firebird082

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Not all churches have that requirement to marry anyone who asks and is living in the area. My church will only marry Christians to each other.

Sorry, I should have been more specific. I was referring to Church of England there I would be interested if there were any CoE churches that would only marry regular churchgoers, as that's not my understanding of my church!