Single and pregnant... Never felt so down

Lioness_Twinkletoes

Stupid isn't believing him, it was allowing yourself to get pregnant 2 months (and that's taking things slow!) after restarting the relationship!

Give men a miss and concentrate on your children.

highhopes19

restless6 wrote: »

Why are your kids having his surname if you are not together??

Sounds a little suspicious, particularly for the new baby , if you are single.

Because he will be her dad...... He said to me he would be there for both children, he's there for his daughter even though he's not ecstatic about the new baby he's agreed to step up and provide for her just as he does with our other daughter! Just because our relationship is dead and buried doesn't mean I should stop my daughters from being in their dads life if he wants to be.

He won't be there at the birth my mum will be, but he will be there to register his daughter as he needs to be.

Plus as another poster said I want my daughters to have the same surname they have he same dad why shouldn't they have the same surname

highhopes19

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Stupid isn't believing him, it was allowing yourself to get pregnant 2 months (and that's taking things slow!) after restarting the relationship!

Give men a miss and concentrate on your children.

Well Thankyou for your judgment

My daughter and my new baby are always my main priority, I wanted my daughter to have a proper family that being her mum and dad together and also saying given men a miss.... I was with him for 7 years he's been my only ever partner and still to this day have never had a partner apart from him ....

giddypenguin

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Stupid isn't believing him, it was allowing yourself to get pregnant 2 months (and that's taking things slow!) after restarting the relationship!

Give men a miss and concentrate on your children.

!!!!!! - can't you see this women has realised that she's mistake, she doesn't need your judgement. Mistakes happen to everyone.

OP- I'm pregnant too with an older one who we claim CTC for. I rang them with our 14/15 income earlier this week (taking into account forecasted SMP) I asked them if I need to tell them when I leave work etc, and they said no - they just want to know when the new baby arrives. (no one there will judge you, or ask for intimate details - just income and DOB!)

Please don't feel down (I know that's a silly thing to say) - try your hardest to look to the future and the excitement of the new addition to your family. It sounds like you have good support so use them! You are not alone in this, and you are certainly not the only one in the world to go through it. Don't look behind you at your mistakes (we all have them in our past) learn from it - move on from it, and focus on the positives. But for heavens sake, don't beat yourself up - you've done nothing wrong - we all trust someone we later realise wasn't the smartest person to trust, you will be stronger for this in the long run xxx

highhopes19

I didn't ask for people's judgments I have been feeling down about the whole situation enough as it is! I do wonder if people just troll threads to pick holes in people.

I'm 27 I work hard me having another baby shouldn't be an excuse to lay I to me...

Some people are so bloody rude!

highhopes19

giddypenguin wrote: »

!!!!!! - can't you see this women has realised that she's mistake, she doesn't need your judgement. Mistakes happen to everyone.

OP- I'm pregnant too with an older one who we claim CTC for. I rang them with our 14/15 income earlier this week (taking into account forecasted SMP) I asked them if I need to tell them when I leave work etc, and they said no - they just want to know when the new baby arrives. (no one there will judge you, or ask for intimate details - just income and DOB!)

Please don't feel down (I know that's a silly thing to say) - try your hardest to look to the future and the excitement of the new addition to your family. It sounds like you have good support so use them! You are not alone in this, and you are certainly not the only one in the world to go through it. Don't look behind you at your mistakes (we all have them in our past) learn from it - move on from it, and focus on the positives. But for heavens sake, don't beat yourself up - you've done nothing wrong - we all trust someone we later realise wasn't the smartest person to trust, you will be stronger for this in the long run xxx

Thankyou it means a lot, I'm looking forward to the future, I start my councelling this coming week so hopefully that will give me more head space to think clearly, already having depression this has really taken its toll .

I know I made a silly mistake trusting him again but he's all I've ever known and I really wanted to believe he had changed not just for me but for my daughter so she could have her family back together

My only concern was that I would have everything stopped and be stuck on just my maternity allowance as my work are also being !!!!!! regarding my maternity .

giddypenguin

highhopes19 wrote: »

My only concern was that I would have everything stopped and be stuck on just my maternity allowance as my work are also being !!!!!! regarding my maternity .

How so? How long have you worked there? If you qualify (earnings, time served etc) it's not an optional payment - if you qualify and they still won't pay it you can apply to get it from HMRC directly.

[Deleted User]

Perhaps you should ask for this thread to be moved hun,
Marriage, Relationships & Families board?
regardless I think you are so brave and really just needed to get things of the chest? - totally understood


I wish we had a board for 'life's little problems' where you can just sound off (I've said this before I remember above board) - may I wish you happier time ahead, I reckon you'll survive and everything will be okay, don't worry honesty really does pay - greatest wishes to you and your girls xx

highhopes19

giddypenguin wrote: »

How so? How long have you worked there? If you qualify (earnings, time served etc) it's not an optional payment - if you qualify and they still won't pay it you can apply to get it from HMRC directly.

They are an awful company to work for, I've worked there 6 years I had issues there when pregnant with my oldest girl I was bullied by the store manager resulting in me having a break down. I was signed off from 5 months because of them. And it's happening again x

giddypenguin

highhopes19 wrote: »

They are an awful company to work for, I've worked there 6 years I had issues there when pregnant with my oldest girl I was bullied by the store manager resulting in me having a break down. I was signed off from 5 months because of them. And it's happening again x

I'm sorry to hear that - but if you've been there 6 years and earn at least £112 a week you are entitled to it so it's not an option not to pay it.

Is there a union rep you could have a chat with?

in situations where I feel out of control I find taking proactive actions helps me feel better - it could be worth starting a diary of any times you are bullied, note down date, time and full name/job title of the person. Store any emails/letters/texts as appropriate. In the future you may be in a position to take action and these will help.

Unfortunately discrimination is very common (I've missed out on pay rises and promotions I should have got) but you are stronger than them. Xx