Chasing Freedom!!

chasingfreedom

Thanks Rock, you are right. I have spelled it out but I've not really followed it through because I've always said well he can't go without fuel, he can't go without X Y Z when it's his money. It the first time I've had full responsibility for all of our money and it feels strange depriving him although I'm not really I'm just helping us have a better future and he really wants the same and is happy that I'm doing a good job. I think I'll speak to him tonight and hammer it home and see where it takes us. I will make sure he knows that there will be NO extra money being transferred so he needs to better manage the money he has and not P*ss it all up the wall!! In fact I'm also going to change the Ebay password, lol

rockm87

yeah, you both need to be on the same page or it will not work. Does he have his allowance in his own account? that way he can visually 'see' what money he has left. Go through budget every month, and talk about any upcoming nights out or anything and allocate money to specific events, that way there is no argument, and do it together.

It is hard, you have my full support, my DH was the same, but he is getting there. You dont want him treating you like his mother or his keeper, youre his wife, and you deserve respect!

:-) best of luck.

chasingfreedom

Thanks for the advice. Yes, we set him up a new account specifically for his own spending money with debit card etc. He has an ap on his phone so he can check the balance etc but he gets lost when he pays in a shop and then it doesn't come out for a few days. He might be better off drawing out the cash and visually seeing what he has left. That's exactly it, not treating him like I'm his mother is so hard!!! I've always been happy to transfer additional for a night out or make sure if we go out together he has the money in his pocket so I'm not always paying for everything. It's a fine balancing act I think!!


Thanks for your advice x

Igamogam

chasingfreedom wrote: »

Saturday he was on about buying a bike rack for the car to take the kids bikes on holidays, which was £20. When I queried about youngest daughter who's bike is almost ready for scrapping he said I thought we'd get her another one second hand. WITH WHAT MONEY!!!!????? Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhh

He hasnt had his LBM

Bike and rack - try freecycle - often find both items on there.

Cant give any advice on OH except to agree he is an adult and if he is serious about debt freedom then he needs to step up - maybe show him an SOA or snowball calculator or keep a spending diary. Seeing it in black and white may help him see the reality???

chasingfreedom

Thanks Igamogam for the advice, I never thought of freecycle.


I've done lots of different snowball calculators and shown him, he's a nightmare!! Lots of apologies and promises for future good behaviour and he's trying not to spend money at the moment which is something. Hopefully just a blip in the road!! Had a lovely weekend. It was my birthday last Tuesday which was great and then I had 3 days of training with work (hence me not being online since Monday!!) I spent the weekend enjoying the sun and getting my garden organised and looking lovely. I decided to spend the £60 birthday money I got on stuff for the garden, i.e stones, plants, pots. I fieel a little guilty I didn't use it for a debt to be honest but I decided that it's money that was given to me for me to enjoy and spent it!! I'm glad I did, the garden really looks so much nicer. I could have reduced a credit card slightly or something but I wouldn't have seen any immediate benefit I suppose. (I'm trying really hard to justify to myself the spending here, lol!!!)


Anyway, fresh week. I need to sit down and go through all my accounts and updates the balances. Not had a chance to do it for a week or so and I know bills have come out. I'm hoping to be able to update my signature slightly later

IWillBeFree

Many happy returns CF! Hope you enjoyed your birthday and you were spoilt!


Must have felt good sorting out the garden and getting some new things for it. It's quite therapeutic, I find, even though I'm no great gardener.


Hope you are not beating yourself up on the £60 - you will enjoy all the lovely things throughout the summer and you will make up that reduction soon anyway

chasingfreedom

Thanks IWBF


You are right, I'm surprised actually how much I enjoyed doing it. Still got a few bits to finish and I was disappointed last night it was raining and I couldn't do them. I might have found myself a new hobby!! Good luck plants, I know nothing about looking after you, haha.


How are you getting on?? x

IWillBeFree

I share the sentiment - good luck plants! :rotfl:I am not green fingered in the least and although I love having a go, they keep dying so this year, I have not done anything more due to the lack of funds than anything else though.

I am on a bit of a downer today but will go and blurt it all out in my diary - as that would be just rude doing it here :rotfl:

IWBF x

chasingfreedom

lol, I haven't seen your diary yet.


I shall go search you out x

IWillBeFree

Oh that's nice - love visitors! :rotfl:

IWBF x