Chasing Freedom!!

chasingfreedom

Ta-da!!!!!

mumstheword***

love it!!!!!

IWillBeFree

Well, I'm intrigued on the picture which is not showing on my phone screen!

Great news on the pay rise. Let's hope the amount leaves you smiling!

IWBF x

chasingfreedom

Don't get too excited IWBF


Still waitingggggggg to hear about the payrise!!!


On a positive though, under 37k. Woo

mumstheword***

Woohoo!!!!

chasingfreedom

Morning campers!! Had a lovely day on Saturday, went to my daughters school fayre. It was my first year helping out and I actually enjoyed having a bit of a banter with the parents/kids although gutted I missed out on the sunshine as I was stuck inside. The grandparents came aswell so we decided to do a bbq for everybody straight afterwards which meant spending a few quid on meat etc but it was nice to have an afternoon in the sunshine with the family and some lovely food so it was worth it.


Sunday I was annoyed (I'll explain in a minute) and decided to do as little as possible until the afternoon when I decided to do some gardening so it ended up being a nice afternoon.


So the reason for my annoyance - as I've said previously me and hubby made the decision that I would take over the finances to try and get us debt free. He is rubbish with money and wastes a lot!! Especially on beer, which he drinks a lot of!! Anyway. Friday night he was going to a colleagues retirement party. He doesn't go out often and I wanted him to have a nice time because he's been working loads of overtime so I transferred him £60 for the evening (taxi home aswell) which I thought was more than enough. He went out at 6 and at 10.30 I get a text can you transfer me more money I've had to borrow £20 off somebody. They were apparently going into town!! I didn't want him stranded with no money, and he's a grown man so I don't feel I can refuse him his own money so I transferred a bit more but wasn't very happy about it. He ended up spending about £80 in the end which I decided was a one off and no point falling out about. So then Saturday he went shopping (for my birthday present) and I gave him the credit card as he has no access to spare cash anymore with the understanding he shouldn't go mad. He was also doing food shopping for the bbq. Now he'd got in at 2am drunk so woke up hungover. My daughter was excited about her fayre and he was coming up with the other kids when it started. Turns out he went present shopping via the pub for a few beers!! Then I get a call because he tried to draw cash off the credit card and it wouldn't work so had to transfer him cash because the shop he was buying me a present from wouldn't take a credit card. Was only £60 so I did it thinking its probably better than the credit card anyway. I go off to the fayre and he turns up later with the kids and his parents. The fayre ends and he says he's going to the pub with his dad on the way back down to our house. I warn him not to go mad because of the bbq and he disappears for 2 hours!! me and the mother in law were annoyed but its kind of expected when they get together. He turns up at home then half cut before the bbq has even started and my parents arrive a bit later. He carries on drinking like beer is going out of fashion and is hammered and so I am mardy and annoyed!! It was a nice afternoon apart from that though!!


Anyway, next morning comes. He makes breakfast and announces he's off to buy a fishing ticket he'd been talking about getting the week before. I complain about the amount of money he's already spent that weekend and I've already had to transfer some of my wages into his account to cover some bills because of his extra spending. He'd said the ticket was £60, it ends up being £90!! So then I'm annoyed all day about him spending a ridiculous amount of money when we're supposed to be overpaying bills. Am I wrong to be annoyed?? I've spend the last few months going without what I want and leaving myself with nothing to overpay as much as I can (from both of our bills) aswell as the extra stress of paying all of his bills. He's 'run out' of money from his £50 per week allowance every week since we started and needed another £20 transferring because he still isn't properly managing his money. I am so annoyed!!! I feel like I am the only one participating. Why should I keep going without to pay his bills when he isn't? He spent more on himself this weekend than he spent on my birthday present!! It's always the case. I told him that I'd had enough and would be handing back his account and he can pay his own bills. I'll definitely be better off!! But then I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face, I want us debt free but I can't do it alone. If I talk to him he says he is on board and to give him a chance. He is working extra hours but that's the only thing he is doing. Should I just give up? What would you do? Am I being unreasonable? He's earning the money so has a right to spend it but we agreed on the £50 weekly allowance when we started.


AaarrrrgggggggghhhhH!!!! Help, advice really needed before I self combust!! xx

rockm87

Hi

o dear that doesn't sound good. You need to sit down together and agree on a budget, which means that you both agree what your 'allowances' are, and that is final. You may be in charge of the finances, but you BOTH need to agree what the budget is so that you can stick to it. You'll be forever chasing your tail if you just keep moving money around to cater for someones careless spending.

You both need to be responsible for what is going on, he's not your child. he is an adult and you both need to agree to this together.

sorry! this is the sensible choice....id rather just a kick in the pants!! silly man ;-)

mumstheword***

MEN!!!!! I feel your pain! There's nothing worse when they're on board. Mine has now decided he wants to move to the US for at least a year! But I have said we have to be debt free before that happens and I think I caught his attention. I don't know what to suggest re your OH!!
Fete sounds like you had a lovely time!!! And the rest of the weekend sounds fab x

chasingfreedom

Rock, yes you'd think he was a grown man to look at him but apparently he is my second child!! lol The trouble is that we did sit down together already and agreed on his allowance of £50 to cover fuel and beer. He doesn't need to pay for anything else. However the problem now is that if he goes to the shop and I say get some bread or whatever then when he's run out he'll say it's because I had to do shopping!! lol Honestly I don't know what to do. He's spending less than he was because he hasn't got access but I'm forever transferring money. It's ridiculous!! I don't really want to increase the allowance because it should be more than enough. When I said I was going to stop paying bills and give him his account back he was adamant we should continue as we are and wants me to still do it. Then he does stupid things like ordering something on Ebay (which is linked to his card) without telling me and leaving his account short. He just 'forgets' and thinks money grows on trees. Saturday he was on about buying a bike rack for the car to take the kids bikes on holidays, which was £20. When I queried about youngest daughter who's bike is almost ready for scrapping he said I thought we'd get her another one second hand. WITH WHAT MONEY!!!!????? Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhh


It's so frustrating!!! He claims to be on board but isn't changing anything!!


Honestly I think some men live in fantasy land!!!

rockm87

I would sit down with him and be honest, he is letting you down as your husband, you need to both be working for the same goal. maybe break it down to him.

Dont keep topping up his allowance, and dont move from the budget, if you just act like 'oh its ok because ADD EXCUSE' he will think it is ok, dont let him misbehave with money, he is letting you down and you need to make that clear to him. It's a trust issue in your marriage, hammer it home luvvy!