When did this change?

meritaten

my son was dairy allergic and the number of times he has had asthma attacks because some stupid person didn't realise cheese was dairy!!!!
he was the only child I knew who had to TAKE a party bag! because even though I would tell the hosts that he was dairy allergic, I either wasn't believed or they weren't clued up as to what could contain dairy - and to be fair many products which you think would be OK - weren't! this was back in the mid - eighties on. and I had the same problem when he was in hospital - despite a large notice saying No Dairy' above his bed - I had to be super vigilant as some staff appeared to think ice cream etc had no dairy ingredients. and one surprise was when I asked the ward sister to phone the kitchen to ask if there was dairy in the baked beans - she laughed herself silly - but she did it and came back to me looking sick. Chef had checked and there was whey powder and cheese powder in them! and they had been feeding them to dairy intolerant patients! that prompted chef to go through the Stores looking for 'hidden ingredients' apparently. the staff I spoke to were really upset that they had actually been feeding people with allergies the very things they were allergic to.


as to when attitudes changed - I think it has evolved as 'allergies' have increased. when I was a child I cannot remember even one person who had allergies other than 'hay fever'. also people are far more informed these days (Thank the goddesses) and money is not so much a factor, so people are more prepared to make extra dishes.

nuatha

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

So far I think Nuatha wins the accolade for highest number of differing dietary requirements to cater for at once:rotfl::T and I just had to look up parve to see what it was...

46 people out of 220, not even 1 in 4. Assuming your average dinner party is 4 guests then it would be unusual to encounter more than one having special requirements. Although some folk had multiple issues, I really don't find it that difficult.

I have recently encountered the attitude that ignores dietary requirements, an invitation to dinner that included vegetarians but offered no alternative to the roast meats and veg cooked in animal fats.

moneyistooshorttomention

I find it difficult to understand why people wouldn't click that "no dairy" means exactly that - ie nothing with milk in, though guess that's part of the general thing that I sometimes wonder how many people "skate through life" not knowing the most basic things.

I can understand why someone wouldn't necessarily realise that there are sometimes the most unexpected things in some foods (eg I wouldn't have realised a can of baked beans might have dairy in either and that's something that might have caught me out - except I'm an avid ingredient reader of things anyway - in order to avoid chemicals/sugar/g.m. products).

Nuatha - I've had that stunt pulled on me before now - ie of the host thinking I would eat the exact same fixed meal as everyone else, but minus some parts of it (and I didn't get any warning this would happen). I complained strongly that part of my meal had been missing (as I hadn't been given any alternative instead). That meal still constitutes part of the reason I have the opinion I do of the people who organised the meal - ie when I started distrusting them. The meal that upset me so much is now quite some years ago, so I'm surprised anyone is still being such an inconsiderate host these days. I must confess that, as regards that meal you have been invited to, I would feel grateful I had at least been told in advance that was what would happen - and would explain that when I declined the invitation (I'm guessing yours is a family occasion too?....). That is naughty of them to treat you that way - when I think you go well "above and beyond" the call of duty with how you cater for other people (that list of varied requirements you catered for at your wedding made my mind boggle..).

Communal meals are supposed to be happy social occasions that everyone can enjoy themselves at - so how could anyone be expected to feel anything other than slighted if told "You will be missing out on part of the meal - and we don't care". That is what I would feel I was being told if I had an invitation like that:cool:.

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I find it difficult to understand why people wouldn't click that "no dairy" means exactly that - ie nothing with milk in, though guess that's part of the general thing that I sometimes wonder how many people "skate through life" not knowing the most basic things.

I can understand why someone wouldn't necessarily realise that there are sometimes the most unexpected things in some foods (eg I wouldn't have realised a can of baked beans might have dairy in either and that's something that might have caught me out - except I'm an avid ingredient reader of things anyway - in order to avoid chemicals/sugar/g.m. products).

Nuatha - I've had that stunt pulled on me before now - ie of the host thinking I would eat the exact same fixed meal as everyone else, but minus some parts of it (and I didn't get any warning this would happen). I complained strongly that part of my meal had been missing (as I hadn't been given any alternative instead). That meal still constitutes part of the reason I have the opinion I do of the people who organised the meal - ie when I started distrusting them. The meal that upset me so much is now quite some years ago, so I'm surprised anyone is still being such an inconsiderate host these days. I must confess that, as regards that meal you have been invited to, I would feel grateful I had at least been told in advance that was what would happen - and would explain that when I declined the invitation (I'm guessing yours is a family occasion too?....). That is naughty of them to treat you that way - when I think you go well "above and beyond" the call of duty with how you cater for other people (that list of varied requirements you catered for at your wedding made my mind boggle..).

Communal meals are supposed to be happy social occasions that everyone can enjoy themselves at - so how could anyone be expected to feel anything other than slighted if told "You will be missing out on part of the meal - and we don't care". That is what I would feel I was being told if I had an invitation like that:cool:.

My son once had a veggie girlfriend. She preferred to eat the same roast dinner as the rest of us minus the meat. I just made sure she had gravy, roasties, stuffing etc that didn't contain any meat trace e.g. roasties not cooked with the roast but in veg oil. She just liked more veg and potatoes. I always felt she should have something else but she insisted this was what she wanted.

moneyistooshorttomention

mumps wrote: »

My son once had a veggie girlfriend. She preferred to eat the same roast dinner as the rest of us minus the meat. I just made sure she had gravy, roasties, stuffing etc that didn't contain any meat trace e.g. roasties not cooked with the roast but in veg oil. She just liked more veg and potatoes. I always felt she should have something else but she insisted this was what she wanted.

Crikey...am guessing that was one VERY polite girlfriend indeed:rotfl:. I would always try and give compliments if I could/say "thank you"/offer to help with the washing-up/bring a little present if appropriate - but would just say "thank you - I would prefer x" if offered the chance.

As vegetarian food is basically a rather different type of meal imo.

If someone does like the "roast" type of dinner it is very useful these days to have veggie substitutes (decent-quality meat equivalent "sausages"/"chicken" equivalent/etc).

LameWolf

LameWolf wrote: »

when Mr LW was working at Rugby, I did once send in some HM jam tartlets (pastry base, HM strawberry jam, and sponge top to seal the jam in) to his work. One of his colleagues, a Muslim, tucked in happily, and only then asked if they were Halal. (They were, of course; and I never sent in my mince pies due to the alcohol content).

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Fortunately, I don't eat meat anyway - but, if I did, that is the one concession I wouldn't make (ie meat would be ordinary and not halal - whoever was coming round for a meal). However, I would tell anyone who did eat that way that that is how things are in advance and it would be up to them whether to accept the invite or no on that basis (monnogram's idea of them eating whatever way we eat in this country would be relevant here). But, as stated, that doesn't apply anyway in my case....

Just to be clear, the tartlets were exactly as I always made them; I knew they'd be ok for the Muslim chap, as they were ok for me. He only asked the question (after eating them) because he suddenly remembered that some people use pork lard in pastry.:o

Re the "missing out on a bit of a meal" thing - that was exactly the situation when I got served roasties cooked in duck fat. We'd gone round to a friend of Mr LW's for a meal; I was served everything except the meat and gravy, as they knew I'm veggie, but still the duck fat got me.:(

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Crikey...am guessing that was one VERY polite girlfriend indeed:rotfl:. I would always try and give compliments if I could/say "thank you"/offer to help with the washing-up/bring a little present if appropriate - but would just say "thank you - I would prefer x" if offered the chance.

As vegetarian food is basically a rather different type of meal imo.

If someone does like the "roast" type of dinner it is very useful these days to have veggie substitutes (decent-quality meat equivalent "sausages"/"chicken" equivalent/etc).

Well my son said it was what she would normally cook on a Sunday at home so I don't know but he said she didn't use a meat substitute at home either. She liked her roasties, stuffing, yorkshires and lots of veg. I gess veggies come in all shapes and sizes not one size fits all.

She was a one off in many ways.

mumps

LameWolf wrote: »

Just to be clear, the tartlets were exactly as I always made them; I knew they'd be ok for the Muslim chap, as they were ok for me. He only asked the question (after eating them) because he suddenly remembered that some people use pork lard in pastry.:o

Re the "missing out on a bit of a meal" thing - that was exactly the situation when I got served roasties cooked in duck fat. We'd gone round to a friend of Mr LW's for a meal; I was served everything except the meat and gravy, as they knew I'm veggie, but still the duck fat got me.:(

I like my roasties cooked with the beef but always did hers separate. She was lovely and I would have happily bought anything she wanted.

moneyistooshorttomention

mumps wrote: »

I like my roasties cooked with the beef but always did hers separate. She was lovely and I would have happily bought anything she wanted.

Sounds like a shame your son and her broke up:(. C'est la vie....

Lizling

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Crikey...am guessing that was one VERY polite girlfriend indeed:rotfl:. I would always try and give compliments if I could/say "thank you"/offer to help with the washing-up/bring a little present if appropriate - but would just say "thank you - I would prefer x" if offered the chance.

As vegetarian food is basically a rather different type of meal imo.

If someone does like the "roast" type of dinner it is very useful these days to have veggie substitutes (decent-quality meat equivalent "sausages"/"chicken" equivalent/etc).

I'm veggie and have often asked for just the veg and yorkshire puddings that everyone else is having rather than have anything separate. I've always thought those are the best bits anyway! I'm not keen on meat substitutes so I wouldn't want anyone to go to the trouble of buying one for me.

I was very disappointed when I wanted the roast dinner bits at a pub recently and they said it was fine then bought me a plate of mushroom risotto with a small garnish of the veg and no yorkshire I know they thought they were being nice by going to the trouble of making something 'proper' but I wished they hadn't bothered.