Pollgarter's plans to clear up her garden

Bobarella

That must be very tough having to clear through those items. But a fresh start beckons. You sound so together & on it. I'm very impressed you are getting so much done for your move.

happydays_70

I'm subscribing PG x
Interesting read.

Pollygarter

Sunshine today! Hello all, hope you have happy, sunny and enriching days!

In the aftermath of my marriage collapse, I had a breakdown and couldn't work for a while. Anti depressants didn't work well for me - I needed to feel the powerful torrent of emotions and loss and find the stability to cope with that, to bend and not break. The pills just made me numb. I found a very helpful (to me) book called the natural cure for depression. There were several key aspects of self care to build a resilient body and brain. They are:

Exercise
Fish oil
Sunshine on the skin - expose skin as much as you can even when cold for 30mins a day
Breaking the rumination habit
Connection with people
Meaningful work/passion
Sleep

I treated this as my prescription and it worked. I also changed my eating habits to very simple natural.unprocessed as much as possible and wild meats often - wild fish, venison, rabbit, game birds etc. Who feed on a wide variety of foodstuffs not farm cereal bulk feed. Round my way, venison is cheap. I can buy £5 of diced venison and add veg n pulses to make a pot which will provide 6 or 7 portions.

I still follow this natural cure regime as best I can. And often realise I am letting a part slip as I start to feel low. When new problems and overwhelm come along, as they do, and as they always will, I still get knocked back but I don't stay down. I get up fast and I strongly believe the simple physical elements of care of self are the foundation of this. I saw a therapist for a while who helped me develop tactics for dealing with obsessive thoughts, putting one foot in front of the other on the bleak days, and stopping catastrophizing. I gave that lady a lot of money. Every penny well spent rather than those I frittered during those mindless shopping trips I used to indulge in.

Its a common theme of working mums but I wish I could duplicate myself! I seem to never have enough time. There is a great deal to do. I am.not the best list maker. But a list is needed.

When I finish my working day, a list will be made. If I am ruthless about the amount of time I have (not enough) and the jobs to be done (too many) before moving...on a date not yet fixed, then I can work out how little time there is to spend on each aspect and just do it.

Finance check in day is approaching on Sunday, at the end of the month. I think it will be rather good. Progress is happening.

Bobarella

Interesting. I am a very up and down person. Both my sisters have taken anti depressants. My dad was probably an undiagnosed depressive. Or something worse. He self medicated with alcohol. But I've never taken tablets. I am interested in what you say regarding that list as your prescription. For myself I find a lot of exercise the only way. Sleep is important too but I go nuts if I'm still too much. That and as you say getting up every time you are knocked down.

My own situation has seen the demise and almost collapse of my business over the last 12 months due to a very poorly handled insurance claim. In that time I've been alone more than I care to admit. Back at work now but some of those days where my husband was at work, my son at school, & nothing to do really did almost break me mentally.

I am finding the grind of trying to reestablish a business whilst 5 months pregnant extremely gruelling. I've gone from having 4 staff to doing literally everything myself on a real shoestring. I currently have no idea how I will manage to take time off to have the baby let alone take any mat leave. It's a pretty bleak picture. The bright side is the hope of a big payout soon of all the money owed by the insurance.

Anyway sorry this is your space not mine. But I will try the fish tip, I already cycle 7 miles every day so outside and exercise covered. Connecting with people, I have to deal with people all day but it's not always pleasant for me. I get more support here!

Keep going Polly. You are an inspiration.

Bob

Pollygarter

You're pregnant? And running a business. That's hard work. Gestating is hard work and a job in itself some days. Congratulations and do be gentle on yourself. I have always found my brains go to hormonal mush when pregnant and had to stop work quite early as I was not sharp enough to do my job well. Mileage varies of course and I Know I was particularly rubbish at the balance. All we can do is what we can and then let go of the outcome.

I love this poem by Elizabeth Bishop

One Art

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


I have lost some lovely things!

The fish oil thing is a real thing. Some very interesting research about the imbalance of fats in our brains leading to a predisposition to depression and addictions. Our diets are very lacking in omega 3s. All I can say is it makes me much more stable in mood and that helps me cope with everything else. You have a lot to manage. We have to keep going.

I did my list of jobs to do. Reckon it will take about 40 hours. I have about a week to build that in on top of the working week. Early nights and extra fish oils all round!

Bobarella

Thank you for a wonderful poem. I really enjoyed reading it. A lot of truth in there. And for the kind words.

And so to bed!

Pollygarter

Check in on debt progress is tonight. Got a few sales on eBay completing today and a bit of bean counting to do but I think its looking good.

Made good progress yesterday on my jobs list. Was outside and there was even some sunshine so feeling happier as a result.

Will check in later.

Pollygarter

State of play @ 31.5.15

£1358 credit

Owe:.

£4234. Bank credit card
£3900. Halifax

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£8134

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£6776 Net Debt

Oh yes I did it I did it I did it...brought my debt into the 6s... For 1 June.

Since Feb I have reduced my debt from £12500 to £6776. Nearly halved it in four months. Paid off £6k.

Oh yes oh yes oh yes.

I am keeping the balance in cash at the bank currently. The credit cards are on 0%so no interest to pay and I have a house purchase progressing. I do have some money to cover the costs of the move coming in early August but there may be a shortfall. Til I know the exact figures I am going to hang onto a credit balance to help with that.

I so don't ever want to ever work another hour to pay interest to someone for my overspending ever ever again.

Bobarella

Wow you are slaying it! So impressive!

1HANNAH

Pollygarter wrote: »

Oh yes I did it I did it I did it...brought my debt into the 6s... For 1 June.

Since Feb I have reduced my debt from £12500 to £6776. Nearly halved it in four months. Paid off £6k.

.

Awesome, well done