Pollgarter's plans to clear up her garden

Pollygarter

Pleased to hear exams are going well Scottishmum, my son no. 2 starts his written stuff tomorrow. He has worked well, and is a bright lad so he should be fine. He has always had a very strong clear head on his shoulders and is a real worker. Saves his pocket money, has a job (which they've given him a few weeks off for the exams).

Completely different from the other two who are spendy dreamers! Equally lovely of course but will need bringing on side slowly qheras he gets it straight away.

We were lucky to have an affluent lifestyle during the married years. Or were we. Nothing got saved, my ex was allergic to that. Quite different to the way I was raised and was in my early years. Trouble is, if you are married to somebody who spends...there is no point in scrimping to save £10 here and £5 there if they then go out and spend £3000 on HiFi or £800 on a new coat for themselves. On the overdraft! My ex never objected to me spending whatever, but savings? Devil's work to him!

But that is past now. Still working through the changes that I need to put in place and it is painful. The uncertainty over whether my move will come off. But its a valuable lesson too. Painful things so often are, aren't they?

I was talking with my mum who said we just keep on going, taking the steps and doing the right things. Like clearing up the house, saving, spending on essential, doing the work of getting ready. And then we will be ready. For this house, if that is to be, and if it is not...well then I will still be ready. And a good new home will turn up and it will work out.

Amazing calm from this. I feel back in control. I cannot control the outside world, that didn't work so well for King Canute nor will it for me! I can only do my work to be ready for when the world comes knocking.

I also went through my figures with a tooth comb and whilst I believed I would make no progress on debt payment with all the extra costs this month, I think I might just stay even. If eBay sales are good I may even do better. I noticed I had set one of my 0% payments at £200 a month rather than the min payment so I have made a little inroad there I had not expected.

I'm enjoying the No Spend Challenge with Marmite and her bunch of loony tight-wads! Do these guys ever open their wallets? They do have fun with it too.

Fun. Brings back a memory of going to a married big birthday bash. The house looked stunning, food amazing, booze flowing, marquee and DJ, everyone dressed up. And I went to have a little cry in the car at one point, parked on their field. I don't drink and most of that crowd drank a lot. And I remember feeling how empty it was. No heart in it at all, just people braying at each other. I was always an outsider in that world. Didn't get the rules properly.

And I am glad I lost. Barely any of those people ever got in touch when my marriage broke. I was of no importance, just stage dressing.

I like this simpler way. Even with the difficulties. I have to work at it now. I always worked at a job, except for those few years with pre schoolers when it was not economic to do so. And so lovely to be there for them all the time. I don:t mean that. I mean the work of making a life and home I want to be in.

Pollygarter

I went shopping with my daughter, a shopping list and a budget. We had a max of £75 to spend for four plus animals. I get pet mince from the butcher which the dogs have raw, and a big sack of kibble from the pet shop bit Kittie won't join us on the economy drive and insists on Doubly Delicious by Felix usually. I tried an own brand premium type today and so far so good.

We came in at £71.10. Result! And that included some new flowers for £1...and the gerbera from last week gave me so much pleasure they were worth the £1 I reckon. Its payday on Friday and am limping along. Daughter enjoyed the budget. Several times we had to make choices to keep on budget, and she enjoyed substitution. Omission not so.much! We have never done that before. She loved the list. I have a few quid budgeted for train fares for son no.1, top up bread and a few bits, and will see how it comes out on payday. Been a fairly good weekend on eBay so I've stepped in the right direction with that too.

Pollygarter

It is payday tomorrow. That's always a good day but tomorrow feels extra good. I am going back into the black and will be doing my darnedest to stay there as long as I can. In all the house clearing I am doing in readiness for the move I came across £300 in premium bonds and £37 in an old account I've not touched for years. Decided to close them both. No point having a bit tucked away yet. That comes next once the cards are blitzed. Its not a great sum, but when you add it up with the £20 here, the £50 there and the £5 on top from eBay I am doing alright. Not expecting any major expensed this month. Ha, let me touch wood and pray for no fiscal calamity this month!

There will be a huge amount to pay out for completion but I have some cash coming to pay for most of that. The more I have saved for the balance the better.

Stamp duty - what a killer. Almost enough to put you off moving as it wipes out your savings on a downsize for quite a while...still I think the difference in monthly costs and upkeep will show quite soon.

Pollygarter

Oh happy day! Payday! And I am substantially in the black. My check in day is the end of the month which is probably the fairest snapshot of the month, this being the best case scenario. Its inched blacker than last month even with all the spends. I have been a fury on eBay and found those small savings pots. That plus the challenges to keep my purse shut and make lunches and not spend on clothes is making a really marked difference. I am managing the children's expectations well too. Daughter wants a new school bag. She had a good leather one, but a bit dowdy. Wanted a rubbish fashionable one from new look which I told her would last ten minutes. Of course, it is now broken after about six weeks. She wants me to buy her another. I have said I will contribute £10 now and she can pay the rest, or she can use the old perfectly serviceable one for now and wait til September and the new school year when I will buy a decent one in entirety. She is waiting.

Driving. Reducing my speed and using the consumption gauge is vastly reducing my petrol spend. Who knew. I've driven with foot down when not on town or residential roads always. It really makes a substantial saving. Bit blown away by that.

Bobarella

Polly just to say I love reading your updates. You write really well. Have you ever been a writer of any kind?

Pollygarter

Thanks Bob, glad you are enjoying.

I'm finding the diary and the challenges so helpful to focus my mind. I do write professionally yes, not very exciting stuff but I do a lot of bashing words into line for a few ££. I very much have the professional hat off for this though! Nothing very professional or organised about the financial mess I've made for myself. And am very glad for the company of others who are also looking for new ways to handle themselves. As I see it, my £ problems are a symptom rather than the problem itself. A well run ship, a profitable little business, a productive veg patch all involve the work of transforming material and energy efficiently into something else. With as little waste as possible. Running a household is no different. I had completely lost sight of that. It makes me want to sit down and bawl for an hour straight at the waste and the loss. But I shan't, because that would be a ridiculous waste of tears which are better saved for better things than spilt cash.

I spent nothing today. Worked barefoot in the garden and scratched my arms to bits on the brambles as I clear up that garden for the new owner. Hot sun, who could wear sensible long sleeves? We may not get another day of sun this summer, they are so elusive. Perfect day.

Bobarella

Well it shows. Take a bow

I agree. I try to apply the same principles to running my home as my business. Least spent for best outcome. Zero waste as end goal. And keeping the employees happy (or son & OH in the home sense)
I know that feeling of frustration. But it sounds as though you are now doing absolutely everything you can for yourself and children to have a great new life. So focus on the day and try not to think beyond that (or rear view mirror stuff anyway)

Bob

Pollygarter

Ah Bob sounds like you have a good plan there. What's your business?

I had a day full of hasdles today. The biggest eBay sale I've had to date has complained that the item is broken. Overseas.. I had not wanted to post overseas but I did. Its insured but I bet they will not pay as no doubt I didn't pack according to their instructions. I'm not an international shipper! Ah me...I feel my cash slipping away!

Daughter saying new house will suck as the bus route is worse than serves our more conveniently placed (more spacious etc) home. Its hard to explain to kids why there just isn't as much cash now without making their dad sound shocking. Which he isn't. I think someone said quite rightly if both parties feel like they've been shafted on divorce then that's probably the fairest point for both! Carving up the family pie is never pretty and so far they've been protected from the material change. I truly think they will be happy in this new home and that it will make an affordable base for us all for years to come. The change is hard for them. I can't deny it.

Bobarella

I set up my own food business 3 years ago. It's hard work. But I'm proud of it (most of the time)

Sorry to hear about the eBay item that does suck. What was it? Do you think they are trying it on?

It's hard when children are ungrateful when you are doing your absolute best & going without to give them everything.

Pollygarter

I like the sound of running your own business. Though I know it is very tough, I can see it would be so involving. I'm struggling through the last few days of the month, trying to keep the coffer lid closed. Not succeeding entirely. The children don't yet get it entirely and whilst I spend a lot of time talking and sharing and they are starting to understand, one in particular, I do revert to old ways sometimes at their coercion! They had a take away curry on Sunday night. To a budget but still. Two birthdays and found nice pressies without spending too much.

I spent two days carpet cleaning. Ye gods, what three kids two dogs and a cat can do to carpets! I did the stairs and sitting room twice and am absolutely delighted with the results. I spent £43 or thereabouts to hire the cleaner...getting four days for the price of two and it was a big old industrial kartcher thing which had such a massive suction to it that the carpets were nearly dry when you'd been over them. Really backbreaking work but I had been quoted £200 (yoiks!) as they were pretty grot and the room sizes are large. That's money still in my bank now and a great workout!

Whilst doing it I had to move all the furniture around and noticed that my wall clock had no glass to the front of it. Hmmm...it did last time I looked. Not one teenaged child knows anything. Grr...I very much doubt we had a break in by someone who just broke the glass, cleared it up and went away again! I found a clock repairer locally who tells me it will cost £250/£300 to repair. I bought it twenty years ago in Greenwich and it was expensive then. I only have about three nice things. This is one...or was! One plus is that he will service and clean it and that's not been done in 20 years and will take it from here to fix then bring back to its new home, when I move. Clocks don't move so well so I'm glad for that. Not worth claiming on insurance as I opted for a high excess to keep the premium down. Doh doh. Annnd...the expensive emergency repair I had done to a tap in April has caused a new problem. Tap not fixed properly, leaking and made the wall all damp and the paint on the other side and lining paper all lift and bubble. They are coming back tomorrow. Am getting ready to melt down with everything going wrong.

But in good news, an excellent week on eBay. After last week's fiasco with the damaged item, I have made quite a few sales and got some OK prices. I really don't think I packed the item which went overseas properly. It is repairable and we agreed a discount. I will carry on chasing the transport company but I am pretty sure they will not cough.

I am tired. Trying to work, sort kids, sell, pack up house, clean, let go of emotional ties, finding old Christmas cards addressed to me and the ex husband, all of it. The only way out is through... I know. I keep injuring myself in small ways, always a sign I am overstretched. Bed.