Finding It Hard To Cope Its just a vicous cycle

chevalier

Hi there
Just to clarify
Are all the debts your debts, or are some joint?
Does your OH work and is she contributing anything to these debts? I appreciate that she is due to go on mat leave, but at the moment?


Ref the pain. One tack would be to ask your GP for you to be referred to a pain clinic. They can put you on a course where you learn to manage your pain in certain ways APART from drugs. I have heard they can be very effective.

chev

asp746

hello ricardo,

sorry about the mess you're in but don't sacrifice your health over some consumer debts - they're big companies making millions on profits so you must try and get your head around it that your £1000 is a mountain to you but chicken feed to them. Don't know what anyone else thinks but what about bankruptcy - i've never done it but what you get for benefits is the bare minimum to live and does not cater for you paying such high debts - thus taking money away from feeding & clothing your kids.

looking at the total amount you owe it would take such a long time to pay off even with the best will in the world. It is admirable you wanting to honour your debts but with kids they must be your priority.

hope someone comes along soon to give some sound advice.

take care

misspoppy

Hi

I hope you are feeling a little more supported by the folks here. I think you need some professional help from one of the debt charities.

Like many others I am concerned about your mental health and your pain. I understand where you are as I have just completed a compensation case and I can tell you its hell and I settled early because of the stress. You really should speak to the Dr about your pain and medication because Morphine can cause depression it might not be the right drug for you. The pain management team is a good suggestion as they can help with other ways of coping but the best way of dealing with pain is to reduce stress of which you have an awful lot. I'm sure if you got help with the financial situation you would start to cope with your pain better.

Take care and keep coming back here

Is_It_Worth_It_2

chevalier wrote: »

Hi there
Just to clarify
Are all the debts your debts, or are some joint?
Does your OH work and is she contributing anything to these debts? I appreciate that she is due to go on mat leave, but at the moment?


Ref the pain. One tack would be to ask your GP for you to be referred to a pain clinic. They can put you on a course where you learn to manage your pain in certain ways APART from drugs. I have heard they can be very effective.

chev

No All the debts are mine, I dread to thing what the wife has but when we split she got help from some goverment thing and it all seems sorted, or at least until I can get mine sorted then will work on hers. No she is not working and currently living off working tax and child benefit, her income support has been stopped since I moved in and my Incapacity will eventually be boosted to cover this.

The pain clinic is booked but like the MRI it a time thing. The accident was in 2005 MRI early this year and the pain clinic booked in October.

Triker

Hi from me also.


I would say that your priorities at the moment are you and your emotional well being and your family, congrats on you impending arrival by the way.

Also re christmas and getting that loan out. Whats done is done but I cannot impress on you enough the importance of getting started early re christmas pressies, soooo if poss, start now.

Have you looked at Pigsback, where you get free vouchers for clicking on stuff, thread is here http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=495525

It all helps.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Is_It_Worth_It_2

RAS wrote: »

IIWI

This is not my area, but you should be able to go to the court and ask for a revised financial deal.

Have a look at this thread http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=517432

which suggests

If you did not return any court forms you should go to the county court and complete an N245 which is a form to ask for your arrangement to be changed. The normal cost of this is £35 but if you are on benefits or low income you pay nothing but will need to complete Form EX160.

The awkward ones are Council tax debts.

Just downloaded the N245 and EX160 I presume I have to take them to the court and once the morphene has kicked in I will toddle off down there in the morning.

Also I would just like to say thanx to all that have replied and of course for Martin for this little heaven

krisskross

The debts and constant pain are obviously getting you beyond rational thinking. Your partner and your children need you. Go and see a debt advisor at the Citizens Advice Bureau. As you rent and have nothing of value, plus no income to speak of, it sounds as if bankruptcy might fit the bill for you. Do see both your doctor and a debt advisor.

good luck with whatever you decide.

Is_It_Worth_It_2

Well Starting to make steps so thought I would keep this post updated for all progress.

I decided that foremost I needed to get the court fines and bailiff sorted. So I called the courts today and they are actually answering.

I got through to some bloke (took his name) and explained that I had a summons for a fine that looked like a fine they had already sent to bailiff. He explained that I actually had 3 fines.

£185 - for no insurance & MOT - I knew about this one as its the one the bailliff has

£45 - No seat Belt - God I forgot about that one and cant argue I was guilty

£164.59 - For no Tax - I explained that I declared it SORN the next time I got my remonder after my accident as was not really comfortable driving as my back issue.

He advised that the second two were what the summons was for and I would need to explain all to the courts.

I asked about the bailliff one. He stated that the last thing they had was that I had called to advise that I was still waiting for my benefits to be sorted. I explained that this was right, however a few days later I called and spoke to someone and advised had benefits and that she said she would apply for £5 a week to be taken from my benefits. He stated that there were no notes for this and all calls were logged. Having working in call centres I had a little giggle and asked him what they would do whgen I provided a phone bill showing I had called and spoke for several minutes. He said they would look into this. I then asked what in the meantime when the bailliffs come a knocking. All he offered was to put the bailliff on hold while I wrote in a formal complaint with my proof. I asked him about the EX160 & N245 and he said that it would be no use to the one at the bailliff as it is out of their hands now. Funny cause he just said he would put them on hold?

Been trying the CAB to ask if the bailliff can demand all in a maximum of 6 week plan but still busy......

Is_It_Worth_It_2

Just got through to CAb and expalined it all and now just waiting for a call back....Will this be the first step with a good outcome?

danielle24

chevalier wrote: »

Hi there
Just to clarify
Are all the debts your debts, or are some joint?
Does your OH work and is she contributing anything to these debts? I appreciate that she is due to go on mat leave, but at the moment?


Ref the pain. One tack would be to ask your GP for you to be referred to a pain clinic. They can put you on a course where you learn to manage your pain in certain ways APART from drugs. I have heard they can be very effective.

chev

Yes, I work for the NHS - hopefully your Primary Care Trust will have something called the Expert Patient Program up and running in your area. It's an eight week course, totally free, that teaches you about pain management and how to understand exactly what your medical condition is and how it can be treated. I have seen patients with similar conditions to you feeling much much better - once you are in control of the pain the rest of your life will seem much better. Please, try and get on this course.

best of luck