sort me out please.

skattykatty

I think it's great that you recognise what is going on. When you have any strong feeling I believe that it's telling you to pay attention to something in your life. In this case it's your relationship with your wife. What best serves your child is seeing that mum and dad have a fulfilling life as individuals and life partners. If everything revolves around him, you somehow put all the pressure for keeping the family going on him. Children are very sensitive to the atmosphere in a family. A happy and fulfilled mum and dad means a happier child who understands how to build a fulfilling life.

As others have said, begin doing things together finding in each other what drew you to each other but also discovering how you are both changing, who you are both becoming in this new family. I don't believe that once you see your partner as dull, you get stuck as you didn't always see her so, things can shift and change.

Katgrit

We don't go out for date nights ever since we have had our child. It's just feels wrong to leave our lovely son to enjoy ourselves.

Please please try and change this way of thinking. I really do hate this mindset. Your boy will be happy playing or staying at grandparents house, or showing his toys off to a babysitter. To function well as parents you need to function well as a couple. Just because you had a child doesn't stop you being husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers excited to be spending time in each others company. When you were single you didn't choose her because you thought she'd be a good person to share parenting with, you chose her because of what things you saw in her that you liked. Spend time with just her to appreciate those things. Date night isn't just a luxury, its really important. So go on, pinch her bum, text her from work just to say hi - invest in your relationship with the girl you chose all those years ago. Your son, or anyone else, can't fault you for wanting a relationship with his mother. xx

Mojisola

Katgrit wrote: »

Your son, or anyone else, can't fault you for wanting a relationship with his mother. xx

And you'll be setting your son a good example for his future - hopefully lifelong - relationship.

justme111

[QUOTE=Katgrit;68261151_So_go_on,_pinch_her_bum[/QUOTE]
The issue is not to pinch her bum. The issue is to want to pinch her bum. Thats why it is not easily sortable usually -onr can do the right thing but one can not make oneself to want the right thing ..

shah80

Thank you all who suggested to go on a date night.

We had a lovely time. My OH get a bit more concerned about leaving our son at home. She is quite particular on how she puts him to bed and all. She was still concerned about him at the start of the evening but was fine in the end.

We chose not to meet our friends yesterday Although we were invited to an event and Mrs needed to go but I excused and in the end we had a nice quiet afternoon together.

giddypenguin

shah80 wrote: »

We had a lovely time. My OH get a bit more concerned about leaving our son at home. She is quite particular on how she puts him to bed and all. She was still concerned about him at the start of the evening but was fine in the end.

That's just because it's the first time - everything is scary the first time! The more you do it the better it'll get. First time I left my LO I had a list as long as your arm of stuff my mum had to do before bed time - now it's just 'do whatever it takes to get him to sleep!'

Glad to hear things are looking more positive... good news :T

Mojisola

shah80 wrote: »

My OH get a bit more concerned about leaving our son at home. She is quite particular on how she puts him to bed and all. She was still concerned about him at the start of the evening but was fine in the end.

giddypenguin wrote: »

First time I left my LO I had a list as long as your arm of stuff my mum had to do before bed time - now it's just 'do whatever it takes to get him to sleep!'

And what penguin says is important - it's better for a child to get used to having a few people do their care. If a family emergency happens and the main carer isn't available, a child will deal with it much better if they have experienced other carers and their ways.