Newbie, advice needed in regards to debt

KRB2725

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

No my story stayed the same it just got side tracked by everyones opinion on csa. People were also rather patronising, sarcastic and judgemental all because your sitting behind your computers.

I had no toys to throw out of said pram, I was merely defending myself in the wake of such unneeded comments and people having an opinion on things that they had no facts or information about. Was I meant to graciously accept the things people said without defending my side? Me against of bunch of arsey forum goers? That did make me smile though 'throwing my toys out my pram'!
Surely a simple answer like ' theres not much chance of ever getting the money back' would have been a reasonable response. Rather than some of the rude comments I got. ( just to clarify, I meant rude as in 'just plain rude to judge on something you know nothing about/ its rude speaking like that to someone who was looking for information. Not the rude where someone has used foul language). Just in case you pull me up on that one.
What is it they say, if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all. But it seems here its just a chance for people to vent off at others with sarcastic remarks due to a personal situation they have tried to get help with.
Lets hope people have got their happy non judgemental heads on today as its Monday morning and the world doesn't need it.

I have just read this whole thread and I have to say that the person who has come across as the rudest is you! You may not agree with what other posters have said, but your responses are very hostile in tone.

You asked how to get money back and you have been told how to do it. Just because it wasn't the way you hoped it would be doesn't make it an invalid answer.

You have obviously got strong views on going down the CSA route, your choice, but sometimes it's worth looking at things from a different perspective, especially if you hear contrary advice time and time again.

It does read as slightly odd that you want him to pay towards a loan but not his own children.

Pixie5740

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

Is there anyway I can recover any money from him as he has got off scott free.

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

To think that money could have helped my kids or still been in my nans bank.

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

I was merely asking for any advice in regards to claiming any money back for the debt, as I was told in the above post it was in joint names!!!!

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

And it wasn't all about the actual money, its the fact it has tarnished my credit rating

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

No my story stayed the same it just got side tracked by everyones opinion on csa.

If that's your story staying the same I think you should consider a career in politics.

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

I understand the csa have more powers now to enforce payment, which im sure would have to be used as he will not be happy or willing to pay. Which in turn will be more stress for myself as I know I will get a tirade of abuse out of the blue. Which I don't think is fair on my kids to see me stressed.

If your ex would launch a tirade of abuse if you went to the CSA do you not think he'd do exactly the same thing if you went after him for the loans? So you're contradicting yourself.

Candyapple

tattoogirl31 wrote: »

Is there anyway I can recover any money from him as he has got off scott free. But the £12000 is a great amount and I cant believe there can be no repercussions for him.

No, there is no way to recover money from him regarding paying back his share of the £12k, so yes, he has got off scot free.

If you don’t like the fact he has ‘got away’ with this, the only way to recover funds is to go after him for child support and then use this money to pay your grandparents back. If you don’t want to go down the CSA route as you’ve stated, then draw a line under this matter, figure out a way to put some money aside to pay your grandparents back out of your own wages and move on with your life.

ConsumerWizkid

The 12k is gone but you are owed a lot of money for CSA...

ViolaLass

ConsumerWizkid wrote: »

The 12k is gone but you are owed a lot of money for CSA...

Read the OP and ignored the rest of the thread?

macman

ConsumerWizkid wrote: »

The 12k is gone but you are owed a lot of money for CSA...

The OP is not owed anything, as no claim has ever been made. She can make a claim for future maintenance, but for the period 2009-156, that is history.

Caroline_a

Here's a different spin on child support. Your ex is being an a$$ by not contributing anything, and you are happy to allow this. That's quite an old fashioned point of view, as it's generally believed now that both parents are equally liable to pay for the costs of bringing up a child.

However.... my ex paid nothing despite being chased by CSA. The rules have now changed which would mean that idiots like him, who gave up his job and went on to income support etc now have to pay £5 a week. Had he paid this, and I hadn't touched it, and put it straight into a savings account for my daughter, she'd have had a couple of grand to go to uni with - a nice little nest egg to get her started.

As it was she had her student loan and some help from me when I could afford it.

Child support is for the child - not for the mother to splurge out on, so if you feel that your income can replace the additional that your ex would have to provide then stay away from CSA. But I suspect that you can't, and so by taking what you feel is the moral high ground you are depriving your children.