An amicable divorce with an inevitable twist

duchy

Then just tell them you can't get a loan but will draw up a formal agreement to repay them - They can take it or leave it. Odds are they'll take it !

How long have you being married ? The 50/50 split is for non short marriages (usually over five years) otherwise the courts tend to want to put both people back to where they would have been before the marriage.

jimmyo

duchy wrote: »

Then just tell them you can't get a loan but will draw up a formal agreement to repay them - They can take it or leave it. Odds are they'll take it !

How long have you being married ? The 50/50 split is for non short marriages (usually over five years) otherwise the courts tend to want to put both people back to where they would have been before the marriage.

I'll try that route again. Thanks!

Married for 5.5 years as it stands. We were both not long out of uni when we married so our situation was pretty much the same back then too.

EDIT: speaking of formal agreements. any recommendations for solicitors?

Homeownertobe

I'm confused how if you both earn the same that they managed to save £10k, bail you out of significant debts and yet you somehow got yourself into a position where you couldn't afford to pay your own debts?

Do the decent thing, get a loan, clear your debts so they can move on from you and take responsibility. You won't be married anymore, they shouldn't have to continue to subsidise your inability to be a grown up.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

I'm not surprised they're getting divorced. If I were the other person I'd have been running for the hills too.

C_Mababejive

Just be honest. You admit you owe the money. Draw up an agreement,sign it and pay the person the money back. remember this was a person you once confessed undying love for. Show them some respect.

LilElvis

To be honest I can see where your wife is coming from on this. Your relationship is over and yet this debt will mean that you will still have a tie to each other for another 3 years until it is repaid (at the current rate). She helped you out when you needed it, so do the decent thing and pay her back now. Couldn't you borrow the money from your parents and pay them back instead if you don't wish to take out a loan from the bank?

splishsplash

You sound slippery, OP. You said that you both earned similar amounts, yet you ran up huge debts for no good reason and she saved 10K. Come to think of it, she saved a lot more than that because she also spent thousands bailing you out.

So you've essentially admitted you can't manage your money, and you expect your wife to believe you'll continue to pay off your debt over the best part of three years??
Sure.
I believe you... oh wait, no I don't.

You spent the money, be a grown up and pay her back. Then you and she can move on with no ties to each other.

Why do you think it would be a bad idea to get a loan? Why do you think you need legal advice? You know you owe her, she helped you when you couldn't manage yourself, now do the honourable thing and pay up.

liney

Would upping the monthly repayment, therefore shortening the length of time of the tie convince her? £100 seems like a small amount for a 30 year old professional.


Alternatively get the loan - it's not fair to keep her tied to you in this way.

David301

was any of the debt that you have used for her benefit?

example holidays, clothes, entertainment?

You spending money that kept you in debt so that your other half could remain in credit?

duchy

The other thing to consider is that even if it is just willy waving on your part - that her spin on it will be to tell friends and family that you are using the threat of going after half her savings to force her into agreeing to giving you extended credit.

If their opinions of you matter to you -even if her opinion of you no longer does -it may be something to consider.