'Playing out'

j.e.j.

fairy_lights wrote: »

I've seen kids running riot in shops, pulling clothes off hangers and chucking them on the floor, swearing at people in the street and running out in to traffic....all whilst under parental supervision!
I don't think children's bad and unsafe behaviour can be totally blamed on them being allowed out unsupervised, if kids are raised well then they won't be such little snottbags when let out alone or supervised.

That's a good point, sometimes the parents are feckless anyway. You see it in restaurants sometimes, the adults all eating and chatting and letting the kids run about the place.

Gloomendoom

50Twuncle wrote: »

What has gone wrong with the world ?
At age 7 - I was cycling my bike to meet a friend in the next village (4 miles away)
And at age 9 - I went on my own by train on a 150 mile journey & home again ...safely ...

Ah, but times have changed. Children are now evil and the world is full of pedalos.

Incidentally, I was the same. Played out from four or fiive and travelled from Preston to Bristol (and back) on the train by myself from age 8.

I never smashed a window, ran riot in Dorothy Perkins or got offered a peek at any puppies.

50Twuncle

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Ah, but times have changed. Children are now evil and the world is full of pedalos.

Incidentally, I was the same. Played out from four or fiive and travelled from Preston to Bristol (and back) on the train by myself from age 8.

I never smashed a window, ran riot in Dorothy Perkins or got offered a peek at any puppies.

I blame the parents every time - they shirk responsibility - then blame everyone else !!

Jagraf

They don't want to get from A to B they want to hang around in cul de sacs and go to the shops to spend some money. Unfortunately the playing part has nothing to do with travel. That I could understand.

meritaten

I live in quite a deprived area and there are more than a few 'problem' families. tbh - apart from some kids roaming around at all hours and some parents being 'trouble' - most kids out playing are doing just that! PLAYING.
most kids are home before dark. most kids are not 'running riot'. most kids treat adults with respect..............with exceptions for the miserable gits who seem to think that the space outside their homes is sacrosanct and children shouldn't set foot on it. who come outside and shout at the kids to 'clear off'. or words to that effect.
outside my mums house is a large open green space (very much like a village green), mum was disgusted recently when some neighbours came round with a petition to stop 'children playing on it'! mum, in her mid eighties, loves to see the local kids playing on the green - it reminds her of bringing US up and watching us play. she also says it is 'safe' for the kids (Yes, as she watches out for them). She refused to sign and reminded the neighbours that the reason the council never built on it was because it was left to them 'as a place where people could gather and children could play'.
I am pleased to say the petition failed.

balletshoes

Jagraf wrote: »

They don't want to get from A to B they want to hang around in cul de sacs and go to the shops to spend some money. Unfortunately the playing part has nothing to do with travel. That I could understand.

who wants to hang about in cul de sacs or go to the shops and spend money? The OP was talking about her daughter wanting to go to the park with her friends without an adult, you know, parks, open spaces away from traffic, where kids can play?

balletshoes

just as a general point following the discussion in this thread, how did we as parents get to the point we seem to be at today, where we are almost expected to keep training reins on our kids until they are just about adults?

I try to follow a middle road with my child - I want to know she's safe, when she was younger for example I knew where she was and I didn't leave her on playdates etc until I knew the adults I was leaving her with (and their contact details). But I also want her to have fun and grow in confidence about her own abilities and learn to trust her own instincts - she's not going to get to do that if I keep her on a rein.

These kind of discussion always get me thinking about my childhood - I lived on a farm under a mile from the sea, in the school holidays my cousins and I were usually that mile away from any adults, on the beach, and the oldest would have been 11 at most (so youngest was 4). We would literally be there all day until we got hungry or tired, then we'd trudge home. We weren't contactable, and there were no houses closer than mine, to where we went to play. We had no accidents, no injuries, and we all managed to get home in one piece, having had a ball into the bargain.

I understand times have changed - but have they really changed so much to cause such a swing in the way parents parent?

Jagraf

balletshoes wrote: »

who wants to hang about in cul de sacs or go to the shops and spend money? The OP was talking about her daughter wanting to go to the park with her friends without an adult, you know, parks, open spaces away from traffic, where kids can play?

I wasn't talking necessarily about the op, but did you read the first post?

balletshoes

Jagraf wrote: »

I wasn't talking necessarily about the op, but did you read the first post?

the OP's one? yes, i read it.

Jagraf

balletshoes wrote: »

just as a general point following the discussion in this thread, how did we as parents get to the point we seem to be at today, where we are almost expected to keep training reins on our kids until they are just about adults?

I try to follow a middle road with my child - I want to know she's safe, when she was younger for example I knew where she was and I didn't leave her on playdates etc until I knew the adults I was leaving her with (and their contact details). But I also want her to have fun and grow in confidence about her own abilities and learn to trust her own instincts - she's not going to get to do that if I keep her on a rein.

These kind of discussion always get me thinking about my childhood - I lived on a farm under a mile from the sea, in the school holidays my cousins and I were usually that mile away from any adults, on the beach, and the oldest would have been 11 at most (so youngest was 4). We would literally be there all day until we got hungry or tired, then we'd trudge home. We weren't contactable, and there were no houses closer than mine, to where we went to play. We had no accidents, no injuries, and we all managed to get home in one piece, having had a ball into the bargain.

I understand times have changed - but have they really changed so much to cause such a swing in the way parents parent?

I think there has been a change in what kids do, rather than parenting. I'm all for kids playing, but lots of them don't move away from the streets to play. They hang around.