'Playing out'

Lioness_Twinkletoes

I have very fond memories of playing out with my friends from quite a young age. My children also played out. However, every child and every parent is different. You have to parent as you see fit - not how the majority on MSE see fit!

I think it is much easier to keep an eye on children these days, with the advent of mobile phones, but you still need to be sure your child is confident & sensible.

barbiedoll

Every parent is different and of course, it also depends on where you live.

We have a swing park at the top of our road and my son was allowed to play up there, with his friends, from about the age of 8. They were allowed to go to the local shops, which are about 200 yards from the park, and that was it, at that age.

I normally had to pop to the local shop at least once a day, so I always kept an eye out on them, as did the other mums, one of whom could see the kids from her bedroom window.

One of my son's friends lives at the other end of our (small) town, almost a mile away. He has been allowed to walk down to our park, alone, from the age of 7. One day, I saw him riding his bike, accompanied by a middle-aged man, who I knew wasn't his dad. I did stop him and ask him who the man was, he turned out to be a family friend, who was happy to be challenged, who knew the parents' names and address and the kid obviously knew him well. He's a good kid, and he was much more "streetwise" than my son at the same age, but it didn't sit easily with me, I just don't like the thought of young kids, wandering around alone, they're just vulnerable.

My son did have an accident at the park, he fell, banged his head and was quite badly concussed. His friends walked him home and were able to tell me exactly what happened, (he couldn't remember), it was very hard to let him go back out when he had recovered!

cloudy-day

Alikay wrote: »

I didn't let mine out unsupervised until they were 10 or 11 because the neighbours in our cul-de-sac didn't like it if they could see or hear them, so I'd be stood on the doorstep with a cuppa every second they were out, shushing them if they laughed or shrieked . Luckily they went to cubs/scouts and DH and I took them out a lot but there was no opportunity to play without being watched let alone get into mischief like DH and I did as kids.

Sorry don't mean to cause trouble - but when you say your neighbours didn't like seeing or hearing your children playing, why did you allow them to dictate to you like that? I'm afraid I would have laughed in their faces and told them to do one! As long as kids are playing in my garden/outside my house then I'm afraid neighbours have no say. Of course this assumes they are not shouting at 6am or being anti-social.

Children playing in the street/gardens was a part of every day life when I was growing up (I'm 50 BTW). it seems to me that kids haven't changed......but some adults have become incredibly selfish. Ironically probably the same adults that were allowed to play as they wanted when they were young. :mad:

To add - I'm talking about normal children's play, might be a bit noisy for a short while, but nothing that should cause anyone any problems.

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone its interesting to read the different views you all have.

Last night did worry me and make me think more about this subject - hence my post. Seeing that poor lad lying on the ground. The ambulance crew arrived way before his mum. None of the kids knew where his mum was or even the name of the road to let the ambulance know where to come.

Yes there are weird people around but I agree the media probably makes us worry more than we should. However if my daughter was approached by someone then what? We think we can trust our kids but they behave very differently when adults are not about. Anyone see the experiment recently when the 'stranger' asked kids to go with him? Most of them did go -even though their parents were adamant they never would.

I also see that playing outside the house is different to playing out in general. Some kids wonder 1 mile plus and their parents don't know their exact whereabouts.

PurplePow

I always played out when I was young. There were loads of us and we’d all play out together after school.

Rules were usually back in before dark, and when I was much younger not being allowed to leave the street but this changed as we got older.

We’d go into the fields and make hay jumps! We always looked out for each other. If playing in the street and a car was coming we’d all shout ‘car!!!!’ and get out of the way. I remember we were all taught at home and school about stranger danger, to the point where if any random person approached us and said something we’d all scream ‘stranger!!!’ :rotfl:

Alikay

cloudy-day wrote: »

Sorry don't mean to cause trouble - but when you say your neighbours didn't like seeing or hearing your children playing, why did you allow them to dictate to you like that?

We didn't have much choice: One household was in all day (home educating their strange solitary child who wasn't allowed to mix with anyone but members of their own church), and the other intolerant household would speed down the 10-house cul-de-sac at 30mph glaring at any child who dared to be outside, even standing on our own drive.

Our children didn't play roughly or noisily, and I'd have never let them have a ball outside in case it damaged someone's bedding plants (open plan gardens, so no walls for protection). They simply went round and round in slow circles on their bikes or scooters whilst I stood watching. Yes the adults were intolerant and unpleasant but we knew we wanted to sell and move at some point and it wasn't worth having a neighbour dispute to scare off potential buyers.

lulu_92

The house I grew up in was on a street that was joined to three others via a crossroads, and the main road on one side.

When I was around 6 I was allowed to play on the street but as long as I could see my house. This gradually grew to being able to play on all 4 streets, to going to the park down the road and eventually to walking to school (just under a mile) when I was 10. The only thing my parents objected to was that we'd come home from school, eat a sandwich and go and play until curfew (when the streetlights came on).

We knew all about emergencies. We had to as my older sister is the most accident-prone person I know! :rotfl: I've had to help her home with a broken ankle (water fight at a friend's house gone wrong), covered in bruises and cuts (fell off her bike) and when one of the horrible kids on our streets decided it would be funny to throw a brick at her, which hit her in between the shoulder blades.

My parents split when I was 11 and by this time I was walking to my secondary school, going on the bus to the town centre on my own and going out with my school friends wherever we could walk to.

I was always a fairly independent child.

I'm 22 now and I thank my parents for letting me do this, and teaching me how to look after myself. It does depend on your child, though.

There's a girl I know who has just turned 19 and she has been wrapped in cotton wool by her parents to such an extent I have no idea how she is going to cope when she leaves college and enters the real world. Two days before her 19th birthday we went to the pub literally around the corner from her work. She wouldn't walk on her own because (and this is exactly what she said) "a !!!!!phile might attack me". She wouldn't go to the bar on her own because there was a man she didn't know standing there. She's a lovely girl but I don't know how she'll deal with managing life on her own.

cloudy-day

Alikay wrote: »

We didn't have much choice: One household was in all day (home educating their strange solitary child who wasn't allowed to mix with anyone but members of their own church), and the other intolerant household would speed down the 10-house cul-de-sac at 30mph glaring at any child who dared to be outside, even standing on our own drive.

Our children didn't play roughly or noisily, and I'd have never let them have a ball outside in case it damaged someone's bedding plants (open plan gardens, so no walls for protection). They simply went round and round in slow circles on their bikes or scooters whilst I stood watching. Yes the adults were intolerant and unpleasant but we knew we wanted to sell and move at some point and it wasn't worth having a neighbour dispute to scare off potential buyers.

Wow! Having lived with problem neighbours I understand not wanting to upset them further......but the devil in me would have enjoyed inviting the whole class, or even school, round for street games and parties!!

There certainly are some odd people in the world.

FBaby

Kids do stupid things, because they're not yet adults and they don't have an adult understanding of the consequences of their actions. They need to be supervised, not left to run riot.

I think you mean that SOME kids do stupid kids. It doesn't take reaching adult age to know that throwing rocks on cars is totally irresponsible. Thankfully, i feel completely assured that my kids wouldn't do something like this. They don't consider being unsurpervised as an opportunity to do things they would otherwise get into trouble for. They get no buzz from doing things they shouldn't and getting a buzz from it.

Seeing that poor lad lying on the ground. The ambulance crew arrived way before his mum. None of the kids knew where his mum was or even the name of the road to let the ambulance know where to come.

I honestly don't think my DS would have been phased in this situation. He had a mobile (very cheap £10 one) from the time he was 8 and he would have called me right away, or if it too much pain asked one of his friends. I remember the time he took the train alone and then told me he had no more battery on his phone. I got very cross with him, asked him how he would contact me if something happened. He calmly said that in that instance he would asked for someone if he could borrow their mobile and recited my mobile number.

It really does come down to the fact that there can be quite a large gap in maturity when it comes to being responsible.

Soapster

My DS9 & DD6 don't play out either. This is mostly due to the fact that they don't attend the 2 nearest schools (their school is approx 2 miles away) so don't have school friends to hang about with. Also all the houses in our immediate vicinity belong to older people who have been here since the estate was built so there are no children in their age range.
I don't want them roaming the streets by themselves on the off chance they might meet some new friends a few streets away.
Hopefully this will change when they go to the comp which is just around the corner.
I was discussing this the other day with my kids who couldn't believe I was out and about with all my friends from the age of 4.
From the age of 8, all the kids from our estate used to walk 2 miles down to the cliffs and spend all day at the rock pools or beach during the summer holidays. There would be a gang of about 30 kids, the oldest being about 13, and we would spend all day there (with no sun cream) and make our way back home as the tide came in. No childcare issues in those days.
How times have changed.