'Playing out'

Fireflyaway

I have an 8 year old and feel very strongly that its not appropriate for her to 'play out' unsupervised. However I am currently feeling I am pretty much alone on feeling this way! The parents concerned take their kids to and from school but I think its for show as after school they just turf them out.

Her school mates frequently wonder around the estate / play in the playground / go to the shop etc with no adults. Some friends will be out from straight after school till it gets dark. I'm not talking being in the same street - in some cases its probably a good half mile - possibly more -( OK I just used Google maps - one child goes from her home to the main playground and its actually 1 mile away! )

I did agree to my daughter going today so long as I went too! I don't want her to feel embarrassed ( I sat and discreetly read my book) but I think she is too young to go without an adult.

Today whilst walking behind I saw the girls all cross the road without looking and whilst at the park a boy injured himself badly and I had to call an ambulance. There were no adults to be seen! We also had an issue with a strange man hanging around the parks a few years back and there is a known sex offender living near by ( that's just the one I know about!).

Many seem to think its OK so long as they take a mobile but I'm not convinced. What's your approach?

j.e.j.

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I have an 8 year old and feel very strongly that its not appropriate for her to 'play out' unsupervised. However I am currently feeling I am pretty much alone on feeling this way! The parents concerned take their kids to and from school but I think its for show as after school they just turf them out.

It's good to see there are some responsible parents around, still. Yo're in a minority, though

Who is responsible for these kids when they're out and about getting up to no-good without an adult supervising them?

FBaby

My boy was coming back home alone on the bus (1/2 hour) from the age of 9. At 8, he certainly was allowed out on his own to the local shops.

There is no right and wrong, just different parents and different children. Some children are more mature than others, so even with the same parents, would be allowed out alone at different age. Similarly, some parents are much more protective than others. It is finding the right balance so that your child is given the chance to grow confidence about being self-reliant whilst not feeling that you are abandonning your child to dangers at every corners.

FBaby

Who is responsible for these kids when they're out and about getting up to no-good without an adult supervising them?

Just commenting on this, but why assume that kids will be up to no good?

Buzzybee90

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I have an 8 year old and feel very strongly that its not appropriate for her to 'play out' unsupervised. However I am currently feeling I am pretty much alone on feeling this way! The parents concerned take their kids to and from school but I think its for show as after school they just turf them out.

Her school mates frequently wonder around the estate / play in the playground / go to the shop etc with no adults. Some friends will be out from straight after school till it gets dark. I'm not talking being in the same street - in some cases its probably a good half mile - possibly more -( OK I just used Google maps - one child goes from her home to the main playground and its actually 1 mile away! )

I did agree to my daughter going today so long as I went too! I don't want her to feel embarrassed ( I sat and discreetly read my book) but I think she is too young to go without an adult.

Today whilst walking behind I saw the girls all cross the road without looking and whilst at the park a boy injured himself badly and I had to call an ambulance. There were no adults to be seen! We also had an issue with a strange man hanging around the parks a few years back and there is a known sex offender living near by ( that's just the one I know about!).

Many seem to think its OK so long as they take a mobile but I'm not convinced. What's your approach?

I personally agree with you.

j.e.j.

FBaby wrote: »

Just commenting on this, but why assume that kids will be up to no good?

The point is not that they will definitely get up to no-good, but if/when they do, who is responsible?

The parents turf them out of the house and leave them to roam the streets, they could be doing anything for all the parents know (or care).

Someone I know used to go with his little mates, stand on the bridge and throw bricks and stones down onto the motorway to see if they could hit the cars :eek: Thank goodness they didn't actually get anyone.

Kids do stupid things, because they're not yet adults and they don't have an adult understanding of the consequences of their actions. They need to be supervised, not left to run riot.

Fireflyaway

I'm not so much worried about her getting up to no good - although I do worry what the kids she is with might do if they are lacking supervision. Its more about her safety in terms of if she got badly hurt like the boy today or was approached by a weirdo or hassled by older kids. I do teach my daughter what to do in those situations but I think in practice 8 is still too young to deal with issues if they were to arise.

headachesrus

My children played out from when they were about 5. I live at the end of a very long road, in a small private close. Out of about 12 houses 7 had children around the same age. They played out on bikes etc, it was lovely. Usually at least one adult watching from a window.

They certainly weren't allowed out of the close on their own.

I think it totally depends on areas and circumstances.

thorsoak

When will you let her go out to "play outside"? When she's 11? 13? 15?

What you have to do is to trust your daughter. If you've brought her up to be confident and secure, she will be fine. At some stage, you are going to have to trust her to be sensible about her own security - and personally, I've found it far better to start letting go early -by allowing her to play out for maybe an hour - then coming home and in. Then start stretching the time out.

REEN

Some years back a little 3 year old girl on her own came up to me in the street and asked if she could come in my house. I sent her back home, at the other end of the avenue and around a bend. Her mother couldn't have been watching through the window. Some parents just don't care.

So much depends on the area you live in, the child's maturity and how the neighbours' kids behave.

Thistle-down

I felt the same way - my daughter is now a bit older but there are plenty of places I won't let her go on her own.

It's not that I don't trust her - but I certainly don't trust the people wandering around the streets in our area. Many are drunk/high and completely senseless.

We are hoping to move to a better area soon.