Father being duped

toniq

She should be ashamed of herself.

In 18 months she has 2 cars and 2 holidays of him??? You all need to intervene if he isn't of sound mind you could taker this a lot further.

Mrshaworth2b

You also have to consider the op saying that this lady is someone he knows from his wife going to the hairdressers. It seems suspect that now his wife is passed that she is suddenly friendlier... would she have been so demanding for a car when his wife was here? If not, what are her motives?

Good on you for looking out for your dad

VfM4meplse

Gigglepig wrote: »

If your father is an adult of sound mind and has chosen to be a sugar daddy

OP, I wonder how your father would feel if he knew the world saw him as a sugar daddy? A bit of sunlight can be a powerful disinfectant.

gettingtheresometime

Having seen a similar situation happen within the family, unless the father has expressed a need for help to end the relationship then there's not a lot you can do about it.

Of course if he does want to end the relationship then being there when he does then that would be giving the father moral supprt

paddy's_mum

My advice? Be very, very careful!

I've been in a very similar situation to that which you describe and the man who became my stepson spread it all around town that his father was getting hooked up with a gold-digger.

The passing of the years and the emergence of the fact that I had more assets in my own right than he had any idea of have blunted that accusation but the damage had by then been done.

I will never forgive him for such an appalling slur nor for the jealous greed, malice and vindictiveness which underpinned his behaviour.

Saying too much now may cause a rift between you and your father, and possibly with the woman in question too, that will never be healed.

I'd also add that unless she is holding a gun to his head, it is for your father to refuse to play that game not for you to be directing his conduct.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you all but please, tread very carefully.

barbarawright

SavingPennies wrote: »

I think it's unfair to insinuate that the OP does not spend time with his/her father as you don't know their circumstances, and spending time with other family members is not really a substitute after losing a long term live in partner/wife.

I always find it odd how when people post these sorts of issues everyone says, oh good luck to him, its his money etc etc. But I'm sure they wouldn't say that if it was their parent. Just because someone is worried their parent is being used by a gold digger doesn't mean they are just worried about losing their inheritance.

If the OPs father was happy and in a loving relationship/ friendship and was enjoying his time with this woman then good for him, however it sounds like the money is just going towards her enjoyment not theirs (did he join her on these holidays he paid for?) this does sound like he might be being manipulated.

Until the OP takes the trouble to meet his father's new girlfriend, he 's never going to know if it is a loving relationship or not

pearl123

Perhaps she is a good companion to a lonely man.
Children understandably move and get on with their own lives and sometimes hardly visit their elderly parents.
We should want for our elderly parents the same as we want for ourselves company and happiness.

FatVonD

A couple of people latched onto my mum when my dad died, one was my cousin who I've posted about on here before. (She had asked to borrow £1,000 just a week after my dads funeral. I spoke to her and told her never to ask my mum for money ever again and she has crawled back into the woodwork.)

The other was a woman she befriended at a bus stop. My mum said she thought she might need to keep an eye on her as shed walked into my mums bedroom uninvited when my mum was in the kitchen. Several local shopkeepers knew her but by a different name. I took a day off the next time she was going to my mums and turned up too. She has never heard from her again. Sometimes you just need to let these people know that you are on to them.

In your position I'd ask to meet her, let her know you know what she's up to and most likely she will back off.

fivetide

FatVonD wrote: »

I took a day off the next time she was going to my mums and turned up too. She has never heard from her again. Sometimes you just need to let these people know that you are on to them.

In your position I'd ask to meet her, let her know you know what she's up to and most likely she will back off.

This. Although I vote for the 'just rock up' option. At least then you'll see what the interaction is like. If it is all good then there will be nothing to worry about. If there is something dodgy, you'll see it straightaway and you can challenge her on the cars etc.

DUKE

I'd pop round & see this woman, actually I would've done it a long time ago.