sarahevie's single quest to mortgage freedom

sarahevie1

I've had to see a solicitor, as it's not that long ago that I bought him out (december 2015). Basically as we did a full and final settlement, he no longer has rights to the house.

This would alter if he could prove he contributed to it, so I will be paying all the mortgage, maintenance.

It works financially for us, as he has his flat, so we basically pay for each ourselves, if we stay together long term, here's hoping, we will have both properties as assets.

sarahevie1

I've decided to really get on top of the weight thing. Have put on half a stone in a week, it's the large family dinners, easter eggs, lack of exercise.

Really would like to get at least a stone off in the next 8 weeks before my holiday. Started with an hour of aerobics today, aiming to do an hour everyday, start logging food again and see where it takes me.

debtfreeoneday

Good luck, am sure you can do it in 8 weeks!

sarahevie1

I'm back

Had some pretty crappy news that the ex FIL, well not quite ex, as I'm not divorced, has terminal lung cancer. Pretty shocked although I've suspected something serious has been going on for a while, although the ex is in huge shock, I had been trying to drop subtle hints, obvs they were too subtle.

My first thought was sod it, lets have a 5 star hol round the med, don't know how long you have left etc etc etc.

Then I thought well really no, let's be sensible about this, let's get retired ASAP.

So how have I been getting on.

I've managed to relet my student house for £500 extra per month, so that's helped my income. I also now get a regular £400 maintenance. I still have my supermarket job and teaching job. Have also been doing some tutoring. Don't have a lodger at the mo, although if I had to I would. DD3 gets 15 free hours nursery from Sept.

Really I think that I should be saving £1000 a month. Not sure whether I am or not. My savings are however at an acceptable for me level.

It's the first time in four years I've done a gas and electricity comparison, projections suggest I'll halve my bill. (I've really let my eye slip from the ball.)

Onwards and upwards, I'm going to try and keep up to my diary this time.

Pushkin

Hi Sarahvie - so sorry to hear your news - really puts things in perspective huh? I think it's admirable that you have still kept your finances basically in control and are on track with things.

Thoughts are with you and hope you still come on here and post - maybe even a good release as you go through this stressful time.

debtfreeoneday

Nice to see you back, but sorry to hear the news... hope FIL is comfortable.

Well done on the extra income..

sarahevie1

As the news of FIL sinks in, I'm contemplating something quite drastic. There has been real conflict over DD3 and her parentage. The ex and his dad really don't think that she is part of their family and as such don't treat her the same.

FIL adhoc sees DD1 and 2 not that frequently to say they live 2 miles away, but occasionally about once a month they invite them over. DD3 always stays with me. She's 2, so although I've always told the ex I'm unhappy about her being singled out, I don't really want her in a toxic environment and love having her. This is set against the context of me working 6 days a week, so any time with the kids is very very precious to me.

I appreciate DD3 doesn't look like her sisters, but they don't look like each other either. Anyway I'm worried I'll regret DNA testing her if I don't get on with it soon. I've had moments in the past of thinking I should, but she is the exes baby 100%, and it always boils down to money. However, now I'm seriously thinking about it not MSE but now or never

debtfreeoneday

Just so I'm clear - are you still with the ex - weren't you moving back in together? Or has time frazzled my brain?

Why is their questions about her dad? Does your ex / the dad have doubts?

stoplurking

Hi Sarahevie1
I just read through your diary in the last couple of days. I don't often comment on diaries but your last post is just heartbreaking to read. Your little DD3 doesn't deserve for these two adults who should love her to bits to treat her like that.

You know what's best for your darling girl but for what it's worth I think this needs to be nipped in the bud as soon as possible. If that means DNA testing then so be it. If this drags on it will start to become obvious to her sisters that the little one gets different treatment to them.

I notice that OH moved back in earlier in the year but is now 'ex', and no wonder if that is how he treats his wife and daughter, and allows others to do the same.
Hope it all works out for you as you are doing a brilliant job keeping the house going etc. Back to lurking now. X

A_Frayed_Knot

Only you knows the ins and outs of why.

My tuppence worth is - I agree with Stoplurking - nip it in the bud, and get him to agree when the result comes back, he pays half or even all.