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I'm an invisible person

2

Comments

  • You're very brave to make such a post. What kind of dog do you have?
  • snowleopard61
    snowleopard61 Posts: 790 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 10 April 2015 at 10:20AM
    Just wanted to say, you write really well. It's good to read a post which is so clearly expressed and so thoughtful. Intelligence is attractive in itself; not every potential partner wants physical beauty before all else.

    If you take your dog out at the right times of day and in the right places, you are likely to meet lots of other people. Dog-walking is a great leveller and a great introduction to different people, not to mention good exercise. The more people you meet, the better your chance of developing deeper relationships.

    And do ask your GP for a referral to a dermatologist - there are plenty of ways to improve psoriasis, and once you're in the system they should keep trying until they find the best way for you. ETA: Sunshine itself (dog-walking etc) is actually beneficial to it as well.
    Life is mainly froth and bubble
    Two things stand like stone —
    Kindness in another’s trouble,
    Courage in your own.
    Adam Lindsay Gordon
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
    Just wanted to say, you write really well. It's good to read a post which is so clearly expressed and so thoughtful. Intelligence is attractive in itself; not every potential partner wants physical beauty before all else.
    I was thinking this as I read OP's post, she has a beautiful writing style.
    Have you looked on sites like Meetup OP, there may be a writing group in your area you could join?
  • You are a writer!

    As a writer, you are brave, bold and creative.

    I am blown away by your courage, the flow of your words through the pain and heartache. That's all I can say right now.
  • MissKeith
    MissKeith Posts: 751 Forumite
    I echo the last few posters, you write absolutely beautifully. That's a talent and a half you have there. Perhaps find a local writing group or book club?
    Have I helped? Feel free to click the 'Thanks' button. I like to feel useful (and smug). ;)
  • cyantist
    cyantist Posts: 560 Forumite
    I have found it very difficult in the past to make friends, particularly when I moved to a new city where I knew virtually no one. I really had to force myself to get out there and meet people.

    I joined a socialising website which I really got involved with and loved, and meetup groups. Wherever you are there's probably a group you could join. They have creative writing ones and dog walking ones for starters.

    Although you have some spare income, make sure you are cutting down on your bills, switching utilities, getting cashback wherever possible, budgeting for food shopping etc etc to maximise what you have spare. I know it's not moneysaving to say "spend more on going out" but if this is something that is affecting your happiness so much, and it takes a bit of spending to get you out doing things you enjoy and meeting new people, then it's worth it.

    Just out of interest, whereabouts (just in general) in the country are you?
  • Dear Op, I am sure that many of us have had periods in our lives that sound like your current situation. It can be very difficult. When I look back to my twenties and thirties I wish I had enjoyed the moment more. I constantly worried that my future was bleak, that nooone would ever love me, I'd never have fun.

    I agree with the post above that advises joining 'MEETUP'. You will find hundreds of people in a similar situation, people that want to get out and about but don't currently have friends around to do it with. You will find people with similar interests and will be meeting all sorts of people.

    Please try and be brave, try and enjoy NOW. x x x
  • surfboard2
    surfboard2 Posts: 2,006 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I have nothing to add, and rarely post in these parts, but that was extremely well written.

    You should write more.

    I can relate to some of what you wrote.
  • raven83
    raven83 Posts: 3,021 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    edited 10 April 2015 at 6:13PM
    It's funny someone has written this on here, I myself am in the process of writing my own story, I can relate to you in some aspects. I suffer with borderline personality disorder, which in short means I suffer with intense emotions and fear of abandonment plus a whole host of not so delightful other traits.

    I do have children and mostly take on the "leading" roll if you like, but I can understand where you are coming from, as I don't experience the same things for you, I do look around at people and see how they can be happy and get pleasure from life a lot easier than me. With this condition I feel as though I am constantly looking at other people lives and cross examining them in my mind, they make it look so easy but for me I am fraught with emotional pain, some in down to the past, I have experienced sexual abuse myself and that does scar you deeply, so don't feel bad for feeling distrusting of others, I am the same. But some of the internal pain I cant even tell you why I feel it some days, but the slightest thing can change my mood drastically. I guess what I am trying to say, and probably am not making a great deal of sense as I ramble on about my own self is that, you are not alone. I am surrounded by people but I still feel like life passes me by, just like you. It is different in how mine manifests itself to yours, but just because I play the leading role it does not mean I don't feel as lonely as you, and I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean it in a way that it isn't all its cracked up to be.

    My advice would be to get out and about, make some friends, even if they're a bit more superficial to begin with, this will get you out mixing with others and is a platform onto making new and deeper friendships. Be kind to yourself, I suffer with self loathing at times, too fat, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not good enough, but thats how I feel on a bad day, make a list of how you feel on better days and stick it onto your fridge and look at it daily, especially on bad days. Treat yourself. A little bit of tlc does lift the mood and make you feel more confident, get your hair done, treat yourself to a new pair of shoes or a new lipstick. Little things of the puzzle will help build the bigger picture. Most importantly start to love yourself, and STOP comparing yourself to others, it is your life, only you have the keys to it, use some determination and make changes, you'll be coming out of your comfort zone and it will be daunting but I promise you this, you will feel so much better for it and your life will start to take off.
    Raven. :grinheart:grinheart:grinheart


  • It sounds like you have found a comfortable life and have become comfortable in it. And we all do it, believe me, I, myself have become comfortable in being "stay at home mum" that sometimes months can pass and I realise that I haven't done anything for myself in a long time.

    I agree with a lot of the posters on here, if you seek you will find new friends. It's just putting yourself out there first that is not easy. As raven says, your new friendships may be superficial at first but the true ones will turn to deeper ones after time.

    Find some things you enjoy, try things you might not enjoy. Walk the dog in places where others do and get your face out there.

    You never know writing this post may be the start of something great that changes all the things you have put down :)
    Newly Married, not a 2b anymore!! Mum to two wonderful boys!
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