Should my housemate pay for the dress she borrowed then ruined?

Fujiko

Rule 1 - Never lend ANYTHING unless it is something which would not bother you if it was ruined. I once made the mistake of lending a neighbour some chairs as she was having a party. Never again!

The age of the dress is not relevant if it is one which you still wear. I have what was at the time a very expensive evening dress which must be at least 20 years old and which I still love and wear. If I was to lend it to anyone (which I wouldn't) and they ruined it I dread to think what it would cost to replace it with something of similar quality.

I am surprised that your friend did not offer to buy a replacement or at least contribute to the cost of one. Also, did she not read the cleaning advice? Very often manufacturers put quite strict restrictions on the way to care for any material, mainly to cover themselves against unfair claims, but even if these were missing commonsense should tell how to treat any material. If there was any doubt, she should have asked you for your advice.

gaving7095

Unless you had serious plans to wear that dress again or otherwise "needed" it, let it go.
She should have offered to replace it, though.
Maybe next time agree up-front; "You break it, you bought it".

j.e.j.

There was a similar thread on here a while ago, except the OP had lent a 'friend' a nice pair of shoes, not a dress, and that person had ruined the shoes by wearing them outside in the rain and getting them dirty.

AnneMary

weeg wrote: »

There's a rule of thumb with 'posh frocks' that for every time you wear it, you half the price you paid for it, and the dress has paid for itself when it's under a fiver. So, if the dress had had a lot of outings, let it go and tell her you expect her to buy you a drink or 3.

In all decency she should have made an offer of recompense though.

jackyann wrote: »

This actually happened to me. I was wearing a maternity that belonged to a friend (who had no intention of wearing it again!)
We were on holiday (back before mobile communications!) so I made a decision to buy her something nice that I knew she would like and was about 1/3 of the original cost of the dress.
I took the attitude that although I could only just afford to do that, her original generosity had saved me money.
She still has the use of the item I bought her.

These two ladies make the most sense to me. I have a couple of formal outfits - one five years and the other over ten years old; they may be rarely worn but when I need them they do the job and I feel good in them. That is hard to put a price on but a contribution to a replacement or whatever you want is only fair.

tallgirld

I wouldn't bother asking her for the cash for it. I mean let's face it she didn't take it to the dry cleaners she chucked it straight in the washing machine probably on boil wash! :-)

Let it go it's only a dress.

Ebenezer_Screwj

What was her reaction to the ruination of your dress? I assume that she didn't offer to pay for a new one, so you might just ask her what she intends to do about it. If you don't receive any kind of recompense then she is a friend not worth having.

h15t0r1an

theoretica wrote: »

Rayon can shrink spectacularly.

Some shrunk clothes can be stretched and the situation improved depending on the cloth and how bad it is.

I once carefully re-stretched a shrunken dress back again by working gently with a steam iron with the garment inside out and taking my time over it. It didn't stretch quite evenly back. But it was still occasionally wearable after that.

Personally, if your housemate hasn't offered something as a sorry, which of course you would refuse! I'd move.

pennypinchUK

So you're considering asking your housemate to give you money for an old dress of yours? Give me strength...can't you accept that shrinking it was an accident, put it down to one of life's simple hick-ups and move on? There really are so many more important things in life.

jenniewb

I find it confusing that your saying things would be akward if you asked for the money back. Surely there would be a problem if you didn't say anything even if it was to show your disappointment.


Don't get me wrong- if you were not fussed over the dress and just wondering if you can make a fast-buck here, now is the time to step back and forgive and forget. But if it does stick at the back of your mind and makes you think twice before lending your friend something in fear that you will have another item ruined then you need to talk about it and the dress being replaced or refunded would be the best remedy for this.


I'd bring it up to talk about, (if it still gets to you and affects what you trust your friend with) come to some sort of joint agreement and leave it at that. But don't let it go if it is going to affect the trust you have with your friend because it always comes out somewhere at the end of the day and most of the time it's at the end of a hard day or in the middle of a bitter argument and can cause far more damage than talking it through to begin with.


Maybe asking for the money back could be a bit much if your friend is broke, but payment in kind (the odd "I'll do the dishes/I'll shout you a coffee/I'll take out the bins..."etc) may come someway to make up for things.

CaroleCH

Years ago you were able to take shrunken garments to a dry cleaner to be re-stretched! Worth a try if it's a favorite dress.
Maybe she could pay for the cost. Good pals are too valuable to fall out with over a dress eh?