help stupid gambling husband

1+1=4

Jhoney wrote: »

Just wanted to say, you are doing really well with sorting everything out and obviously, keep posting if/when you need support to help keep you going. He is a lucky man, but i'm sure he knows that.

Thanks. He probably not feeling very lucky at the minute cos im not giving him a millimeter but I truley think that he needs to be treated like this to make it sink in, if he thinks im just going to roll over and forget it he has another thing coming. :-)

Jhoney_2

He may not be feeling it right now, but he knows it:). Try to keep communication flowing between you. He made a big mistake which broke some of your trust, but reinforcing walls (he built!) in silence will make it harder for him to stay honest and admit to relapses (if applicable) and moments of weakness.

At the same time, don't neglect your feelings and your own need for support wherever you get it. I assume there are ga groups that offer support for spouses and families too.

Don't be anyone's carpet , but remember the man/relationship/family too.

It's all quite new and a big shock, you are doing a great job of what needs to be done for your family. You don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater while emotions are running high.

1+1=4

Jhoney wrote: »

He may not be feeling it right now, but he knows it:). Try to keep communication flowing between you. He made a big mistake which broke some of your trust, but reinforcing walls (he built!) in silence will make it harder for him to stay honest and admit to relapses (if applicable) and moments of weakness.

At the same time, don't neglect your feelings and your own need for support wherever you get it. I assume there are ga groups that offer support for spouses and families too.

Don't be anyone's carpet , but remember the man/relationship/family too.

It's all quite new and a big shock, you are doing a great job of what needs to be done for your family. You don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater while emotions are running high.

Wise words and I will try to eventually listen. He has told his mum and dad who are both now married to other peeps and all 4 of my inlaws have either messaged me or phoned me to offer suport and money if needed and I think also to make sure that I will help him sort it out. They have all said he is an idiot so I know my family suport is there. I just needed to get my head around the lying and not talking to me then I will be ready to talk to him, which might take a few days yet. I can have 1 hell of a temper and be very stuborn so he knows to let me simmer for a few days. Thats my vice :-)

Jhoney_2

1+1=4 wrote: »

Wise words and I will try to eventually listen. He has told his mum and dad who are both now married to other peeps and all 4 of my inlaws have either messaged me or phoned me to offer suport and money if needed and I think also to make sure that I will help him sort it out. They have all said he is an idiot so I know my family suport is there. I just needed to get my head around the lying and not talking to me then I will be ready to talk to him, which might take a few days yet. I can have 1 hell of a temper and be very stuborn so he knows to let me simmer for a few days. Thats my vice :-)

Yes and you totally deserve whatever recovery time you need - no apologies to anyone for that :T! It always boils down to these fundamental points, doesn't it? trust and communication...it's not rocket science but we so often get it wrong.

Remember it's an illness - but you deserve your vice:cool:.

B_G_B

Jhoney wrote: »

At the same time, don't neglect your feelings and your own need for support wherever you get it. I assume there are ga groups that offer support for spouses and families too.

Maybe of help to OP.
http://www.gamanon.org.uk