help stupid gambling husband

1+1=4

Hi
help quick back ground. Dh has been gambling excessivly since march 14 and trying to cover it up from me but putting it on his credit card need less to say I have found out.
we are due to come out of a fixed rate mortgage end of june this year.we will have £93400 left on a term of 16 years for property value £147000. I was looking to remortgage to poss first direct at 1.99 our current rate is 3.15. Basically what I want to know is has he screwed our remortgage up.from what I have dug up so far is he has joined several online betting things so I presume that they have all run credit searches.
He has roughly £ 3000 on halifax credit card which was on a tesco credit card that he transfered in February to try to hide it from me.he has no missed payments and im planning on spending the weekend trying to sort out extra payments. He also has a car loan with halifax £5000 still got 2 years left on this again no missed payments.
Any replies appreciated

enginesuck

By joining a gambling site he wouldnt be credit checked. You deposit money using credit or debit card and then gamble away and invaribly lose.

Be aware that some credit card companys treat gambling transactions as cash advances so the interest is usually higher and a fee may be charged for each transaction. (check the T&C of your CC provider to confirm)

Gambling is a big problem, with a few people i know, and it is increasingly popular with the advent of gambling smart phone apps.

Ive seen loads of lads sucked in and while some make some money in the short term invariably it ends up costing them as they begin to play for higher and higher stakes to cover their losses.

Good Luck

Mojisola

1+1=4 wrote: »

help quick back ground. Dh has been gambling excessivly since march 14 and trying to cover it up from me but putting it on his credit card need less to say I have found out.

Any replies appreciated

Unless he joined GA and made very clear efforts to change his ways, I'd be telling him that he was putting your relationship at risk.

Living with an addict wears you down but most people stay until all trust is eroded and the good feelings are gone and they still have to cope with the debts left over.

Give him every support he needs to change but don't ruin your life if he goes back again and again to his addiction.

1+1=4

Thanks enginuesuck I did not know that about the credit card will have to have a look at the t&c. Trying to gather as much info as possible and things like that really help.

goodwithsaving

Regardless of whether you remortgage, make sure you also look after yourself and your finances. If he's hiding it, could he also have created debts which you are liable for if he doesn't pay? Do you have joint bank accounts?

Possibly more than the re-mortgage to consider here.

andyfromotley

If your mortgage provider asks for bank statements then gambling transactions may well be frowned upon and lead to a decline. I would speak to a broker about it.

As a recovering compulsive gambler can i strongly suggest that your husband has a big problem and he should seriously consider going to GA, where he will find a warm welcome and help. If he doesn't then my experience is that he will return to gambling at some point.

enginesuck

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless he joined GA and made very clear efforts to change his ways, I'd be telling him that he was putting your relationship at risk.
.

Dont throw they guy under the bus just yet !

Everyone has their vices, it would be a strange person who can look at themselves and not identify a weakness and or vice. Some drink, gamble etc etc some people are abusive.

Im sure its actually a weight off his mind. I hid some small debts from my wife MANY years ago, not gambling but things had crept up on me. It was a massive weight off my shoulders and I never had the problem again because we talked about it and solved the problem together.

1+1=4

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless he joined GA and made very clear efforts to change his ways, I'd be telling him that he was putting your relationship at risk.

Living with an addict wears you down but most people stay until all trust is eroded and the good feelings are gone and they still have to cope with the debts left over.

Give him every support he needs to change but don't ruin your life if he goes back again and again to his addiction.

Belive me relationship is at breaking point, all im trying to do at the min is secure a roof over my 2 kids head.

1+1=4

goodwithsaving wrote: »

Regardless of whether you remortgage, make sure you also look after yourself and your finances. If he's hiding it, could he also have created debts which you are liable for if he doesn't pay? Do you have joint bank accounts?

Possibly more than the re-mortgage to consider here.

Yep we have a joint bank account and a single 1 each. Im sorting them all out along with his pay slips. credit cards and expenses from work matching them all up then taking over control of the whole lot for now. I have also sourced him several gamblers anonymous meeting and im going to tell him to pick 1. Then from that I will see where his commitment lies.

Paully232000

1+1=4 wrote: »

Hi
help quick back ground. Dh has been gambling excessivly since march 14 and trying to cover it up from me but putting it on his credit card need less to say I have found out.
we are due to come out of a fixed rate mortgage end of june this year.we will have £93400 left on a term of 16 years for property value £147000. I was looking to remortgage to poss first direct at 1.99 our current rate is 3.15. Basically what I want to know is has he screwed our remortgage up.from what I have dug up so far is he has joined several online betting things so I presume that they have all run credit searches.
He has roughly £ 3000 on halifax credit card which was on a tesco credit card that he transfered in February to try to hide it from me.he has no missed payments and im planning on spending the weekend trying to sort out extra payments. He also has a car loan with halifax £5000 still got 2 years left on this again no missed payments.
Any replies appreciated

Does he know that you know?

1+1=4

enginesuck wrote: »

Dont throw they guy under the bus just yet !

Everyone has their vices, it would be a strange person who can look at themselves and not identify a weakness and or vice. Some drink, gamble etc etc some people are abusive.

Im sure its actually a weight off his mind. I hid some small debts from my wife MANY years ago, not gambling but things had crept up on me. It was a massive weight off my shoulders and I never had the problem again because we talked about it and solved the problem together.

Belive me enginue I have threw him under the bus myself and revesed over him a good few times because if I cant get him to understand what a huge negative effect this has had on us, he coyld possibly do it again.he really has a huge mountain to climb.