Turning your life around

solentsusie

Yes, it is scary how much credit you can obtain if you are seen as being a 'good bet'.

I remember when M&S started with their credit cards. I had had a store card with them with a £250 limit. They kept pushing me to have one of their credit cards and when I gave in and got one the initial limit was £5K. They didn't even transfer or shut down my store card but left it open, which was what I thought the point of transferring to the credit card was.

It is so easy to get into debt, but rarely easy to get out of it.

As everyone is saying, look at the positives and what you have achieved, don't worry about comparing yourself to others, we are all on our own journeys. It may look greener on the other side but you have no idea what anyone is hiding behind closed doors.

Be positive and concentrate on creating an amazing future!

Jagraf

clueless1807 wrote: »

I really need some good advice, please no negative comments I feel bad enough as it is. I want this to be a positive thread about making things better.

A few years ago my husband and I were in alot of debt with little income. We have worked really hard to build a business which is now generating some income for us and our debt stands at £10k (being paid slowly but surely). We rent (which we both hate) but having been stupid financially in the past (Im sure Im not alone there), its our only option at the moment (no deposit).

We were ticking along nicely until we got a call a few weeks ago saying that our landlord is returning to the UK and needs to move back into the house. I went into panic mode and just couldnt think straight. We were told we could stay in the house long term and that he had no intention of returning.

Anyway, I have been so down because this phone call has highlighted to me all the stupid things we've done, all the poor decisions we've ever made and I have this terrible feeling of guilt that I cant provide a stable home over my children's heads (they are 13, 9 and 6). I feel so guilty but in a way its made face up to responsibility and think about short/medium/long term planning which is something we have NEVER done in any sensible, well considered manner.

I guess I was wondering if there has been one moment in your life that made you rethink everything you've ever done and made you think about short/medium/long term goals and achieved them?

You could be me . I think the same way as you and in a similar position, although debts now cleared.

But, you will have learned so much. Only this morning we were walking round a garden centre, with garden furniture up to £1500 :eek:. I said to my OH "look at all this stuff we don't need". I have never felt so sure of the important things in life as I do now. Just keep going, it will sort itself out xx

Just to add. At the height of the debt I ad to go out and find cheap and free things for the kids to do. No more piano lessons, etc. I made some of the best friends ever. Nothing is better than that.

FireWyrm

sourcrates wrote: »

I find it quiet scary that that you have a potential 40k credit available Firewyrm, back in the day, i had a gold card with a 10k limit, catalogue with 7.5k limit, various other cards with 5-6k limits, and a 5k OD too, seems to be the way of the world these days.

Believe me, I find it equally disconcerting - after all, given all this credit, why dont I just go ahead and get those windows fixed, or the roof, or get that shiny new cooker from John Lewis - the one with the snazzy wok burner I was eying up? I could also, since I'm worth it, get that Kindle Voyage I've been lusting after and why not have an evening out on the way home etc etc.

It takes a herculean effort to resist the temptation just to go and get those things and more besides, after all, everyone else is doing it, why should we suffer? I know of course that items bought on credit are paid for twice and I know the arguments, but still, the siren call of commercialism calls to me - and I'm one of those who have notionally 'seen the light' and sworn off all that is bad for my financial health. How much harder for everyone else that are not quite as evangelical as us?

I've just finished the monthly reconciliation in YNAB for April and apart from £190 I have to spend on food this month, I am once again broke. On the other hand, all bills are paid and the monthly debt burden just a little lighter. I am about to go read about the evils of sugar on my 2 year old kindle paperwhite and perhaps later, I'll check in again on my 3 year old mini laptop. I have all that I sensibly need, clothes, a roof, a full stomach and little stress. We should all be so content.

nearlyrich

I read something that said don't compare yourself to anyone else as we are all on different journeys and we don't know what their burden are. You seem to be doing a great job of clearing down your debt and you are running a successful business keep going and don't worry about what other people do or say.

Red-Squirrel_2

FireWyrm wrote: »

News flash for you Meatloaf...all those friends you are so envious of are up to their eyeballs in debt and most likely will not only never see the light of day again, they hardly even acknowledge that they have a problem.

I wouldn't have thought it was all of them, plenty of people manage nice lives without loads of debt, if they have the income for it. Most of the time I'm sure we can manage to be happy for them with a bit of green eyed monster only creeping in occasionally!

clueless1807

Thank you so much for all your replies. Its so nice to be able to talk to people who understand. Money is such a taboo subject and as you say, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. I dont yearn to be rich, just comfortable and have enough money to pay the bills and have a bit in the bank as a comfort blanket.

I have decided that we need to lower our expectations of where we should live although our business does mean that we have people coming to the house occasionally so Im not gona lie, its gona be difficult to downgrade but thinking of "the plan", I think thats what we need to do.

Thanks again :-)

ClimbingOutOfDebt

Just wanted to chip in and say hello. OP, I get it. I was renting a lovely house, as a SP with my baby daughter. Landlord lived abroad and assured me he'd never sell up, then one day he did and we had three months to get out. My daughter learned to walk and talk in that house, it broke my heart to leave.
That was in 2011 and since then I've more or less sofa surfed and stayed with family, rented off friends my age who own property. I was silly, just plain silly with money in my late teens and early 20s which destroyed my credit file.
Up until 18 months ago I simply didn't earned enough to survive let alone save. I'm only just making progress with climbing out of debt (hence the name) and have been pre approved to enter into part ownership on a property. It will mean getting a mortgage (which I am terrified will be rejected) but it's a start.
I absolutely understand how you feel with regard to stability. The embarrassment and guilt I feel for not providing a proper home for my daughter is always with me (at 30 I live with my mum and nan, thanks to death divorce and debt - it's like a shelter here!) but as aprevious poster said, stable homes are made on the inside. Hope it all works out for you

Liverlad67

Keep your chin up. You have healthy children for starters. Ok you don't have a mortgage to pay so what? It's only us Brits that are obsessed with home ownership renting works worldwide. Just think you could have paid off your mortgage by now if bought in your twenties but could lose your house anyway due to divorce, illness or having to pay care fees. Who knows what the future brings

clueless1807

So today I have enquired about a house near us and was told that their referencing fees alone are £503 and that to rent the house I need to be making a clear profit of £40k excluding any tax credits, child benefit etc! How on earth is anyone supposed to rent anywhere!

FireWyrm

clueless1807 wrote: »

So today I have enquired about a house near us and was told that their referencing fees alone are £503 and that to rent the house I need to be making a clear profit of £40k excluding any tax credits, child benefit etc! How on earth is anyone supposed to rent anywhere!

I suppose like most things, it depends on where you are trying to rent. Out here in Northamptonshire, it is frankly pretty easy - rent on a 3 bed house is typically under £700. Even when I lived in Oxfordshire, I was only required to produce a bond, some referencing fees and one month's rent up front. Certainly there was nothing about having to have an income of £40K. It sounds like the letting agency are giving you the run-around to be honest. Try looking elsewhere or going to the landlord direct.