Man having sex with woman but googling male !!!!!!?

nyc_451

I've met this man who is physically attracted to me (and he clearly shows that), he had girlfriends in the past. Before we've met, a friend told me people think he is gay but that he is actually not; yes, he does seem to be a bit gayish...

We used to chat on the phone a lot, and sometimes those talks would get a bit sexy... Once I had to use his pc and the first saved google search was 'gay sexually transmitted diseases'; he immediately said someone else has been using his pc. When he left me, I checked his history and found that at the times when we would be having those sexy talks, he was googling gay !!!!!!?? Now in the public he hates gays... I have a feeling that he is afraid to come out and pretends to be a very conservative man. Bisexual maybe, as he wanted to have sex with me?
I didn't mention what I have found. I only asked about that first search that popped up, asked if he had any hidden fetishes and he said no, and was very cold with me that night.

I just want to see if anyone has any opinion about this...

j.e.j.

You're probably right, but why go snooping around someone's browsing history? Don't go looking for trouble.. if you can't handle trouble :cool:

millysg1

Oh no, not good sign. A little but true story for you.

My best friend met a lovely guy and they hit if off really well. Moved in together, bought a place, got engaged and got married in a space of 2.5 years. Within a month a month of being married, she started to get some suspicions, one month after that her brother was sent a link to a video of her husband doing chats with men while he was dressed as a women. Then, on further investigations, they found videos of him be pleasured by other men. Some of these videos were filmed In their home. The police were at their door a few days later he was arrested for indescent use of the Internet.

She is now divorced 18 months later and has no contact with him. But got a random text a few months ago saying "I'm gay". Obviously, she was not surprised.

They had regular sex, she believed he really loved her and he hid it from all his friends and family. No on had any idea.

Be careful!

*max*

millysg1 wrote: »

Oh no, not good sign. A little but true story for you.

My best friend met a lovely guy and they hit if off really well. Moved in together, bought a place, got engaged and got married in a space of 2.5 years. Within a month a month of being married, she started to get some suspicions, one month after that her brother was sent a link to a video of her husband doing chats with men while he was dressed as a women. Then, on further investigations, they found videos of him be pleasured by other men. Some of these videos were filmed In their home. The police were at their door a few days later he was arrested for indescent use of the Internet.

She is now divorced 18 months later and has no contact with him. But got a random text a few months ago saying "I'm gay". Obviously, she was not surprised.

They had regular sex, she believed he really loved her and he hid it from all his friends and family. No on had any idea.

Be careful!

Bold part....Really?? Is that actually a criminal offence?? I wouldn't have thought it was, as long as it only involves consenting adults? :huh:

Thistle-down

blue_mango wrote: »

, he does seem to be a bit gayish...

Gayish?

Many people are bisexual, pansexual, etc. and are in a loving, monogamous relationship. Try talking to him again.

dandelionclock30

You need to ask him again, it appears that he is Bi or gay obviously its upto you what you want to do about it.
If he wont have a frank discussion then you need really to think about moving on. In my experience gay men do not make the best partners for straight women and I've not known personally one BI guy who was totally committed to the woman. Its possible but I've not known it myself.

millysg1

*max* wrote: »

Bold part....Really?? Is that actually a criminal offence?? I wouldn't have thought it was, as long as it only involves consenting adults? :huh:

There is more to it with what he was doing online than what I went into.

kingfisherblue

blue_mango wrote: »

I've met this man who is physically attracted to me (and he clearly shows that), he had girlfriends in the past. Before we've met, a friend told me people think he is gay but that he is actually not; yes, he does seem to be a bit gayish...

We used to chat on the phone a lot, and sometimes those talks would get a bit sexy... Once I had to use his pc and the first saved google search was 'gay sexually transmitted diseases'; he immediately said someone else has been using his pc. When he left me, I checked his history and found that at the times when we would be having those sexy talks, he was googling gay !!!!!!?? Now in the public he hates gays... I have a feeling that he is afraid to come out and pretends to be a very conservative man. Bisexual maybe, as he wanted to have sex with me?
I didn't mention what I have found. I only asked about that first search that popped up, asked if he had any hidden fetishes and he said no, and was very cold with me that night.

I just want to see if anyone has any opinion about this...

The first question to ask is if you want to have sex with him? If you do, are you happy with casual sex or do you want a relationship? Until you know the answer to these questions, nobody can really help you much.


Personally, I can't imagine having a sex with someone unless I have developed a relationship with them first.

*max*

millysg1 wrote: »

There is more to it with what he was doing online than what I went into.

Right, I thought as much! Thanks.

Edwardia

Sexuality is determined before we are born, but few people are 100% straight or 100% gay/lesbian. Sexuality is fluid, on a continuum.

If you think of it as a railway line with straight at one end and gay/lesbian at the other, your station is predetermined. But though you'll stay in your station, that doesn't mean you're stuck in the waiting room. You could be exploring the car park, the ticket office, the platform but many people never do.

In exploring their station, people can get turned on by, things they would never do/feel unable to do. I can get turned on by gay !!!!!! for example, but as a woman, I can't experience that in real life, myself.

He may have fantasies that he actually wouldn't do and unless you are prepared to share yours, then is it really fair to question his ? You're not in a relationship with him so it's not really your business.

If he is bisexual, that's not a crime. Being bisexual doesn't mean that you're more likely to be non-monogamous than a straight person.

It's often said however, that repressed homosexuals are the worst bigots. They see what they want and can't allow themselves to have so they are jealous and hate.

Transformers

He is an individual - so, ask HIM why he is viewing what he is viewing.

But, be prepared for him to ask why you were snooping into his browsing history.

Anyway, why are you having sex with someone when you can't even have a conversation with them?