Man having sex with woman but googling male !!!!!!?

Gigglepig

blue_mango wrote: »

Now in the public he hates gays... .

How Charming.

You asked for opinions... Well if your choice is between him having a bigotted nasty attitude to others OR lying to you about his sexuality and possibly not disclosing having a concern about sexually transmitted diseases... I think I'd date someone else.

Spidernick

Why don't people clear their internet history when they log off? It is so easy and something I do automatically.

I have to agree with post #10 and I think the OP's 'a bit gayish' comment says more about her than it does about her 'boyfriend' (if that's what he is).

nyc_451

Spidernick wrote: »

I think the OP's 'a bit gayish' comment says more about her than it does about her 'boyfriend' (if that's what he is).

And what does it say about me?...

I have no problem with gays or bi, I am also very open minded when it comes to sex, so having a bi partner wouldn't be a problem. What scares me is that he might never confess and live a double life. Or that he might actually be gay and have girlfriends as a cover up.

I only checked his browsing history because I got scared of him having some disease...and this gay thing...I was shocked, I wanted to know who am I dealing with.

I understand he doesn't owe me any explanation as we've only started seeing each other. And I could see how defensive he got when I mentioned that search to him... I honestly think that he would simply stop talking to me if I told him I checked his history.

I wanted to get to know him but now I am a bit scared...

He also dislikes people from certain cultures as far as I know but he was googling gay from those countries...what else is he lying about...

*max*

blue_mango wrote: »

And what does it say about me?...

I have no problem with gays or bi, I am also very open minded when it comes to sex, so having a bi partner wouldn't be a problem. What scares me is that he might never confess and live a double life. Or that he might actually be gay and have girlfriends as a cover up.

I only checked his browsing history because I got scared of him having some disease...and this gay thing...I was shocked, I wanted to know who am I dealing with.

I understand he doesn't owe me any explanation as we've only started seeing each other. And I could see how defensive he got when I mentioned that search to him... I honestly think that he would simply stop talking to me if I told him I checked his history.

I wanted to get to know him but now I am a bit scared...

He also dislikes people from certain cultures as far as I know but he was googling gay from those countries...what else is he lying about...

Bold bit #1: no you weren't, you were snooping AND THEN what you read made you worried about "diseases" on top of the suspicion he might be gay/bi.

Bold bit #2: why would even contemplate having sex with someone who, let's face it, sounds a bit of a prejudiced !!!!!? And with someone you think is lying to you? Plenty of people out there who are neither of those things, if what you want is just sex. And even if you want more.

Recipe for disaster right there!


Edit: the edited word was slang for posterior, nothing more.

nyc_451

*max* wrote: »

Bold bit #1: no you weren't, you were snooping AND THEN what you read made you worried about "diseases" on top of the suspicion he might be gay/bi

Now lets be clear: we both switched the pc on as I needed to do something important online. When we opened web browser, few page suggestions came up and the top one was google search of 'gay sexually transmitted diseases'. I honestly didn't even think about snooping on him before I've seen this!

And to answer the question regarding prejudice... I think everyone has some stereotypes. My family doesn't like gays and black people, so what am I supposed to do, not talk to them? They've been influenced by people around them, they've never met gay or black, I am sure they'd change their mind if they did.

Gigglepig

blue_mango wrote: »

And to answer the question regarding prejudice... I think everyone has some stereotypes. My family doesn't like gays and black people, so what am I supposed to do, not talk to them? They've been influenced by people around them, they've never met gay or black, I am sure they'd change their mind if they did.

I don't see why you would want to spend your time with people like that. And how can they possibly have avoided meeting gay or black people, unless they never leave their house?

Maybe you should try hanging out with some different people? Hating, or Not liking gay or black people is far from 'having some stereotypes'. There are plenty of men out there you can date who are not like that.

nyc_451

Gigglepig wrote: »

I don't see why you would want to spend your time with people like that. And how can they possibly have avoided meeting gay or black people, unless they never leave their house?

Maybe you should try hanging out with some different people? Hating, or Not liking gay or black people is far from 'having some stereotypes'. There are plenty of men out there you can date who are not like that.

I am not from England, as you can see. My family lives in east, in a village. There are no black people there and barely anyone dares to come out as gay. Old fashioned small places like that still exist. And I don't blame my family because they've been brought up in soviet union, they had completely different way of thinking back then and if you don't have a chance to see more of a world, you will most likely stay in that mindset.

PeacefulWaters

Edwardia wrote: »

Sexuality is determined before we are born, but few people are 100% straight or 100% gay/lesbian. Sexuality is fluid, on a continuum.

I never realised I was in a minority.

If you think of it as a railway line with straight at one end and gay/lesbian at the other, your station is predetermined. But though you'll stay in your station, that doesn't mean you're stuck in the waiting room. You could be exploring the car park, the ticket office, the platform but many people never do.

In exploring their station, people can get turned on by, things they would never do/feel unable to do. I can get turned on by gay !!!!!! for example, but as a woman, I can't experience that in real life, myself.

Nope. I'd still be having straight sex in the ticket office. I'm not risking sex on the lines and I'm a bit too old for doing it in the car park.

FBaby

So if he was bi-sexual, it wouldn't be an issue for you. On this basis, why do you want to discuss it? He is no more likely to cheat on you, lead you on, get with you and then dump you if he is than if he wasn't?

Maybe he gets turned on by watching gay !!!!!!, but it makes him want to get on with a lady, not a man. Who knows.

Just take it easy, don't expect too much too quickly, protect yourself sexually, and definitely stop snooping on him. See where it goes as you get to know him better and vice versa.

nyc_451

FBaby wrote: »

So if he was bi-sexual, it wouldn't be an issue for you. On this basis, why do you want to discuss it? He is no more likely to cheat on you, lead you on, get with you and then dump you if he is than if he wasn't?

Because I am afraid that he is more into men than women but afraid to come out as gay, and having a girlfriend for him might be just fitting in the society, pretending to be 'normal'.

I am also suspicious about his sexual disease search...must be having some casual sex with men then...

And how am I supposed to feel some kind of connection with a man who is lying to me