Relationship with Mother - Annual Visit

tea_lover

enginesuck wrote: »

Thanks for the responses.

The kids arent old enough to travel alone (under 10) they have stayed with their grandparents for a week alone - we met halfway ( still cost £250 in fuel and £150 in travel lodge accomodation for the drop off and pick up - and 1200 miles on the car (i sound like a skin flint i know ! - im not really but i like to get value for money lol )

Going on holiday with them would be a big no no for us - im a different person to the son who left at 18. I dont enjoy their company if im being honest. Talking to my dad is like talking to a bank manager lol

I think its likely we will just bite the bullet and visit - I cant see any other way.

Really? Every single response has given a potential other way.

lulu_92

securityguy wrote: »

I'd just invite them and if they don't come, leave it. If they won't travel, then they clearly aren't bothered about seeing you or your children.

This.

It's not just down to you to maintain a relationship between your kids and your parents, they should be wanting to do anything that will allow them to see their grandchildren.

They remind me a bit of my dad. He will always complain that I don't ring or visit but he will never ring or visit me either!

scooby088

I would personally go on the foreign holiday and forget about the grandparents,

enginesuck

Thanks for your responses, some food for thought. I think we will most likely visit but stay elsewhere - it will cost but there are other considerations not withstanding the visiting my parents, i also have other family etc. Definately taking a foreign holiday next year though !!

arbroath_lass

Why do you only get four weeks holiday? Are the other days bank holidays?

How about a long weekend with your parents and then fly off somewhere? Or just a couple of days before and after. Is there an airport near them - that might cut travelling costs.

I'm a "what if" person so would probably make the effort for my children (assuming they want to!)

Alternatively, would they visit if you asked for help? Cover a week of school holidays minding the kids whilst you are at work every day?

Newly_retired

As a grandparent I have almost always done all the travelling. My daughter and her family did stay with us for two nights one Christmas, but my son and his family have never stayed, yet they are forever seeing or "using" his in-laws as childminders as they live locally. So I go and see them, maybe stay a couple of nights, no more.
My daughter's children have stayed with me since they were tiny. We have usually met half way for the handover, or I have fetched them.

So I think it is up to the grandparents to make some effort and not just up to you. It is not easy for either side, staying with family for a whole week, so I would settle for a shorter time, perhaps around a Bank Holiday, or you go there for a couple of days, then leave the children with them. Maybe they could bring them back by train?
I do think it is an extreme idea to say you won't go at all if that means you don't see each other for two years though.

missbiggles1

If you always take a off fortnight at Christmas (which personally seems a bit excessive to me), why don't you go and see your parents for a few days then, leaving the summer period free for you to go abroad..

whitewing

Why don't they have the children for 2 weeks in the summer. You drive them up and stay for the weekend. Then you drive up for the last weekend and bring them back. Then you can have a week's family holiday with the children yourself at some point. You go to work while they are away. Give your parents some money for activities.

lulu_92

whitewing wrote: »

Why don't they have the children for 2 weeks in the summer. You drive them up and stay for the weekend. Then you drive up for the last weekend and bring them back. Then you can have a week's family holiday with the children yourself at some point. You go to work while they are away. Give your parents some money for activities.

That's 4 journeys though. Surely that's adding to the problem?

whitewing

lulu_92 wrote: »

That's 4 journeys though. Surely that's adding to the problem?

Two weeks of date nights with the wife! Got to be worth the car journeys, lol.