I'm pregnant and don't know if I can afford it..

shell_girl

Lives ruined and taxpayer paying the price?! Judgemental much?

Get a grip. None of us are due a tax refund for deciding not to get pregnant. If you want kids have them, if you don't, don't. Are you seriously not having kids because you couldn't bear putting that burden on the poor tax payer?

Please don't try and make someone feel bad for considering using the welfare system for the purpose it was created - welfare of all members of society.

A colleague of mine claims DLA because an accident left him needing to use a wheelchair. As a tax payer, maybe you should ask him if he was being careful at the time of his accident?!

Sorry to hijack OP. Definitely check turn to us website to see what help you're ENTITLED to :-)

j.e.j.

Don't rise to it, people. You always get 'one or two' judgemental forum-users who can't resist putting their tuppenceworth in on threads like this.

REEN

Milton Keynes has a good train service to London and plenty of shared ownership houses. Might be worth checking out.

gayleygoo

OP I'm not sure if you are considering abortion, and that's a very personal choice of course, but I'd suggest you don't do it if the only reason is your finances. You and your partner both have jobs and a willingness to work, you can bring up a baby just fine If you were to end the pregnancy based on the thought that your jobs are not well enough paid, you might regret it? But you won't regret having your baby, even if it does change your life in other ways.

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 20 - missed a few pills and didn't think much of it until a few weeks later, it happens! OH and I both worked but our total household income was less than £17k at the time (to be fair, N.Ireland is cheaper to live in than England, I still don't think we could afford to pay many of the rents in England! In fact, come and live here, you can get a 3-bed detached house for £400 a month ) We never needed housing benefit, although tax credits and child benefit covered most things. Babies themselves do not have to cost much, although they can get a bit more expensive as they get older!

Exactly what is considered to be a sensible level of income to start a family? Even if you earned £40k each, you'd probably get used to having that amount of money for yourselves, spend accordingly and still be worried that it wouldn't be enough to raise children on. There is no magic number that I am aware of.

Benefits such as tax credits and child benefit may not be affected by your husband's nationality, as they are intended for the upbringing of the child. I am not an expert on that though, hopefully someone more knowledgeable can clear that up for you.

AmyTurtle

I just wanted to say good luck to the OP whatever you decide.
I've recently become pregnant and even with a household income of £65k we are worried about the cost, because of course everyone's lifestyle matches their income and SMP is a hell of a lot less than my salary. I think it's true that a baby costs what you want it to cost - we've had a look round at just essentials (buggy, cot, steriliser) and have found that they can be bought quite cheaply, especially if you are willing to buy second hand.
By the way, I live in Tunbridge Wells in Kent, where every second person commutes to London. You can rent a 2 bed flat here for around £8-850 per month but the train fares into London are quite high. My OH is from the Southend, Essex area where train fares to London and rents are even lower than here.
The people who lived in the 1 bed flat above us until recently had a very premature baby which necessitated the mum giving up work and she had been the higher earner. Her OH worked a full time job plus an early morning cleaning job to make ends meet and they stayed in the 1 bed flat until a few weeks ago when they were finally offered a 2 bed flat by the local housing association - their little boy was 18 months old by this point but they coped in a 1 bedroom flat because they had to.

If the only thing holding you back from having this baby is finances, please be assured that you will cope - I was brought up in a low income single parent family and have turned out OK

Rambosmum

OP - do you actually just not want a child? To not want children is fine. Whether it is ever, soon or just not right now. But you are the one who will have to live with your decision, what ever it is.

It is possible to move out of London and have a commute of less than 1 hour to the centre, are either of your jobs near to train stations as opposed to the tube? You could have a look what stations they connect to and then look at rental prices there?

You also need to go to the turn it in site, try it as a 'single' person with child and as a couple, I'm not saying that you lie, just to give you an idea of what you may be entitled to.

I understand what you mean about wanting to be financially ready for a child, but 34k between you would be plenty to bring a child up on in somewhere like Manchester where I lives - you could have a 2 bed house in a nice area for £500pcm. It is worth considering your OH looking for another job in a different place. You'd be on Mat leave and on your salary their won't be much difference between SMP and SMA if you were unemployed for a bit.

ifeelsad

While it is possible to move to the outskirts of London (or even further afield) and pay less rent, that has to be balanced with transport costs.

My local train station is less than 20 mins from London but a yearly oyster card is £3008. That's over 6k a year for two people to get to work, and the saving in rent will never be that much.

Some places we were looking at it was 5k each person to get into zone 1.

You really could live anywhere in the UK though. You could get a 3 bed place for less than £600 in a lot of cities.

Good luck whatever you decide

Gavin83

Rambosmum wrote: »

OP - do you actually just not want a child? To not want children is fine.

This is really the only question that matters here. Ignoring the financial aspect do you actually want a child?

GreenQueen

Lots of good advice here on the financial side. Another thing to look into (although it's not always easy to find) is part time job - smaller nursery costs and still keeping some income and something on your CV.

You mention that you have no friends in this country:
First, that makes it easier to move to a completely different area, if a job comes up somewhere with cheaper housing - you're not leaving your support network behind.
Secondly, going through pregnancy and having a small child is a good opportunity to make new friends in the same situation as you - antenatal groups, toddler groups, etc.

Good luck, whatever decision you make.

GQ

quidsy

OP, if your job are not tied to London & they sound like they aren't, why not look to move further afield to the North of England where property & living costs are much lower.

Good luck with everything. Babies need very little for the first year or so anyway.