I'm pregnant and don't know if I can afford it..

Indie_Kid

englishlady90 wrote: »

We could consider moving out of London but we need to find jobs firstly as we could never afford to move without an income.

have you looked into whether you can transfer your jobs / be transferred?

j.e.j.

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

Sorry to be the one to say it but, were you careful? I.e. did you use contraception? If not, why not....

No you're not!

And anyway what help is that now??


Better to deal with the situation as it is: the lady is pregnant, living in a VERY expensive part of a (to her) foreign country, has no relatives nearby and is wondering what to do.

I am wondering if OP could broach the subject with her family in Italy, or would that be a bad idea, OP? Or your husband's family? Are either family likely to support you, either emotionally or financially?

Indie_Kid

Have you both sat down and gone through your finances? You need to look at where you can save money. I'm also sure parents can give you advice on here where you can also save money.

Also, (sorry) are you in debt? if so, pop over to the debt free wannabe boards. The old style board may be of some use to you too.

raven83

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

Sorry to be the one to say it but, were you careful? I.e. did you use contraception? If not, why not....

Wondered when this question would rear it's head. Why do people always ask this? What's done is done and even if they were using contraception, it isn't always 100%! Asking this sort of question is not going to help the matter now, is it.

BigAunty

englishlady90 wrote: »

We could consider moving out of London but we need to find jobs firstly as we could never afford to move without an income.

..

Not a biggy - he applies and finds a job with slightly less, similar or greater income than he has now in an area with much cheaper rent and then you move together, after you've done the maths that prove your basic living expenses will reduce by a very large degree.

For example, where I live, I may earn 2-4k less than London due to the weighting that gets applied but a nice 2 bedroom flat can be rented for £550 a month in a decent area and the train fare to the city centre would be about £40 a month, with the journey taking about 10-20 minutes..

How did you get on with the benefit calculators for the future scenario of you as a SAHM in London? How much did it indicate your household may get in terms of child benefit, working tax credit, housing benefit, council tax discount, child tax credit? I don't know how it works for someone on a migrant visa who presumably has no recourse to public funds, whether there would be any impact or not due to his status, for the better or the worse (perhaps you simply apply in your name).

Perhaps another poster can let you know or you can ask on the benefits forum as it's such a critical factor in your affordability calculations - the benefit forum members are experts in this area but do be prepared for the odd judgemental post there so only take notice of the constructive ones.

pickledonionspaceraider

ognum wrote: »

you would be lucky to get a one bedroom flat where I live for £850 and it's not London!

Yes, rates for rent change from place to place - people can move if they cannot afford the going rate for certain areas

In some areas, you can rent a 3 bed house for less than half of that - just depends on priorities and income

BigAunty

englishlady90 wrote: »

It just feels really impossible to match the figures right now and I've never approved of couples that have children without being sure they can sustain them..

What exactly do you mean by this? Are you simply referring to some kind of calculation about the impact on their standard of living that prospective parents should undertake? What is the point of your moral stance here, what purpose is served by your non-approval of parents who don't undertake formal planning around child affordability?

I could be wrong but I thought in Italy, there is no such equivalent as housing benefit or working tax credits for example, and in India.....! ?

The benefits and health system in this country ensures free education and medical care for children, plus a safety net that means no child should go hungry, unshod or unclothed. Sure, there are many households that are under privileged compared with other households.

The chances are that if you give up your job, there will be some degree of replacement of your employment income with a raft of up to 5 different types of benefits, plus subsidised or free child care perhaps. It probably wont replace every single pound that you lose from your employment income and you will have to make big changes to your budget - cheaper grocery spending, less clothes, cut down on social expenses, forego annual holidays overseas, etc.

Newlyboughthouse

raven83 wrote: »

Wondered when this question would rear it's head. Why do people always ask this? What's done is done and even if they were using contraception, it isn't always 100%! Asking this sort of question is not going to help the matter now, is it.

It annoys me that this happens so much 'by accident', lives ruined, tax payer paying the price. I've managed very well to not get pregnant all these years... by using contraception. Yes doesn't help OP now but wanting to help spread the message - forums being a good place to do so. Sex is great but if you're not sure about wanting kids...contraception.

Apologies to OP if contraception was used diligently.

lulu_92

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

It annoys me that this happens so much 'by accident', lives ruined, tax payer paying the price. I've managed very well to not get pregnant all these years... by using contraception. Yes doesn't help OP now but wanting to help spread the message - forums being a good place to do so. Sex is great but if you're not sure about wanting kids...contraception.

Apologies to OP if contraception was used diligently.

I've managed not to get pregnant and I've not been using any contraception for almost a year :rotfl::rotfl:

I agree with what people are saying about moving slightly out of London. My SIL moved to just outside Kent to save money, but then missed her lifestyle and moved back to Victoria as soon as she could. But she is single and childless.

j.e.j.

The suburbs would be a nicer place to bring up a child than an inner city slum.