My demanding 5 year old

ALIBOBSY

Well I have four children and do have one like this lol.

The other 3 went through various stages of the terrible twos (seems to be 18 months to about 6 to me ). But the second eldest has been challenging from birth lol.

She is very demanding and yes we certainly got the temper tantrums. I recall one occasion when OH gave up in a shop and shoved her kicking a screaming in a trolley back to the car whilst I finished shopping-she asked for something I think and we said no, or maybe she decided she didn't want to shop can't recall.

I finished the shop, paid and returned to the car where she was still sobbing. Only calmed down by the time we got home.

OH always says she will be a high maintenance woman one day

She is now almost 12 and things have improved quite alot, and she is much more grown up. But she still gets a strop on for all sorts of stupid reasons. We both kind of ignore it now, never shout back as they can't be reasoned with. Keep calm but firm.

This morning DD was laughing and joking and being great with ev1, until she started to brush her hair, suddenly it was the wrong brush, we had all been moving her fav hair brush etc etc. She stropped out the door and off to school. Came in from school all sweetness and light again.

I guess some of us are more laid back people and some let the little things get to them, and the second group find it harder to deal with when they are younger.

We found physical exercise seems to help her and calm her down, she did trampolining and gymnastics and is now is about 5 different teams/cheerleading/dance groups at school.

Ali x

MadDogWoman_2

You need to see a GP and get referred.

Nicki

Indie_Kid wrote: »

You either haven't read the OP or know nothing about the condition.

The OP has stated her child isn't like this all the time. Whilst I've not been officially diagnosed with SPD, it's in my medical notes that I have extreme sensitivity to light and noise - to the stage where it can get physically painful. Regardless of where I go, this is always an issue.

Can't understand why so people are obsessed with trying to diagnose the OP's child. Some children are just like that.

The sock thing sounds familiar. I think it was always put down to visual impairment and my general inability (due to said visual impairment / colour blindness) to dress myself properly) rather than some sensory issue. The only socks I've really had an issue with are walking socks. They were, I seem to remember, wool or some equally horrid material. I have eczema and my skin doesn't like wool.:(

I actually think it is you who needs to know more about SPD!

Just because you have problems all of the time does not mean that everyone who has this does! The literature makes quite clear that one facet of the condition is that it normally fluctuates.

The fact is that most children (and adults) would not even notice a seam on a sock or the fact that their clothes have labels, much less work themselves up into a lather about it. The fact that this child does notice these things is proof that she is hypersensitive to those sensations. So really the only question is: is she definitely being naughty because she reacts in such an extreme way when she experiences these sensations, and therefore punishment or ignoring her is the solution. Or does she genuinely find the sensations extremely distressing in which case using some strategies to desensitise her over time to those sensations would be in the best interests of the whole family maybe.

My child does have SPD by the way, properly diagnosed and we have used strategies in the link I gave earlier, recommended by an OT, to very great effect. They aren't expensive or time consuming but can be very successful. Suggesting the OP just have a look at some ideas to minimise her child's distress is not the same as putting a lifelong stigmatising label on her child - SPD is not autism or a learning difficulty for example (not that either of those should be seen as stigmatising either)!

I have absolutely no idea why you have such a bee in your bonnet about people suggesting that someone just read about some techniques. They can choose whether or not to use them. Flinging your toys around because a few posters have told the OP that such techniques exist seems a massive overreaction!

meritaten

jeez - this sounds like my son and then his daughter. Son has Aspergers and his Daughter has ADHD. at age five the school didn't pick it up - they thought she was just a bit 'challenging'. or Naughty.
it may be worth investigating ADHD and asking the school to refer her for 'assessment'.

meritaten

um - have no idea what happened there! except I changed my mind about posting?

peachyprice

MadDogWoman wrote: »

You need to see a GP and get referred.

For what? Being a little madam? I don't think that's a medical condition, yet.

Indie_Kid

Nicki wrote: »

I actually think it is you who needs to know more about SPD!

Just because you have problems all of the time does not mean that everyone who has this does! The literature makes quite clear that one facet of the condition is that it normally fluctuates.

The fact is that most children (and adults) would not even notice a seam on a sock or the fact that their clothes have labels, much less work themselves up into a lather about it. The fact that this child does notice these things is proof that she is hypersensitive to those sensations. So really the only question is: is she definitely being naughty because she reacts in such an extreme way when she experiences these sensations, and therefore punishment or ignoring her is the solution. Or does she genuinely find the sensations extremely distressing in which case using some strategies to desensitise her over time to those sensations would be in the best interests of the whole family maybe.

My child does have SPD by the way, properly diagnosed and we have used strategies in the link I gave earlier, recommended by an OT, to very great effect. They aren't expensive or time consuming but can be very successful. Suggesting the OP just have a look at some ideas to minimise her child's distress is not the same as putting a lifelong stigmatising label on her child - SPD is not autism or a learning difficulty for example (not that either of those should be seen as stigmatising either)!

I have absolutely no idea why you have such a bee in your bonnet about people suggesting that someone just read about some techniques. They can choose whether or not to use them. Flinging your toys around because a few posters have told the OP that such techniques exist seems a massive overreaction!

I have actually educated myself, thank you. Considering that I've had serious issues regarding SPD for the last, oh, 15 years plus, I think I should know what I'm talking about.

And yes, I am well aware that SPD isn't Autism. My issues regarding SPD have nothing to do with Autism, as confirmed both by opthamology and audiology.

Can't understand at all the obsession with wanting to label children.

Nicki

You are the only one who is obsessing about a label. I haven't said OPs child has SPD. I HAVE said it sounds like she is hypersensitive to some sensations (which it does) and that there are techniques, which happen to be used for people who do have SPD, which might help her manage her distress. Why you are so opposed to this is a good question!