My demanding 5 year old

spartacusthe1st

bylromarha wrote: »

Similar family life here. Eldest is mostly a breeze. 8 yr old younger sibling is very hard work, peaked aged 4-6, having silly tantrums over things as you describe. It was never pandered to. We tried different forms of defusing techniques, ignoring, positive reinforcement, discipline through the years. None really work TBH. She just went through the motions of having strops over stupid things.

She's now 8 and we still see the ridiculous behaviour fly out of nowhere about once a month. Nothing and no-one can get her out of it and she is content to live with the consequences of any discipline that is put in place at the time of her losing it. She lost a sleepover during her last blow out, and was sad she had lost it, but realised her behaviour was wholly unacceptable.

She now has strategies to calm herself down, so we let her get on with it and work it through and leave later than planned when she does have her angry moments. We then arrange punishment with her after she has calmed down as there is absolutely no reasoning with her during the anger - she goes from 0-60 in 3 seconds...

It's annoying to live through right now, but think of the determined, single minded young lady you have the priviledge to shape and mould and what a success she'll be as an adult because of it!

Thank you for this, I think this is just who she is and will continue to be.

z.n

peachyprice wrote: »

Me too.

Little Mr Just So. Also highly intelligent.

I think the early years are particularly difficult for bright children, they have all this intelligence floating around but not necessarily the maturity to be able to release it.

DS used to take up to 18 minutes putting sports socks on- if they were not just right they had to be done again, and again..... It was that bad that I timed him and then made it a game to beat the previous time to get it to a manageable 4-5 mins. He grew out of it eventually. DD was putting tights and socks on at 18 months by herself- but liked shoes that were at least one size too big. Lots of small kids have tricky habits (I know one who cannot wear zips and one who could not have any buttons for example-they have both grown out of it.) DS did turn out to be pretty bright and so I wonder if that is something to do with it.

The trick is to keep calm about it- it will pass. Just try not to reward the behaviour by giving it too much attention at the expense of your better behaved child.

Buttonmoons

Ive had the sock thing, my DD is 8 and used to freak out over the "feels" in her socks, she hated the seams sitting funny on her toes - She wears her socks inside out now - One problem solved...

peachyprice

Buttonmoons wrote: »

Ive had the sock thing, my DD is 8 and used to freak out over the "feels" in her socks, she hated the seams sitting funny on her toes - She wears her socks inside out now - One problem solved...

I have a sock thing myself. I can't stand wearing them indoors because of the way they feel, they go all loose and baggy. They turn my stomach and make my toes feel all 'fuzzy'.

MadDogWoman_2

Research Sensory Processing Disorder

Loz01

My niece was/is like that with clothes, shes got some sort of sensory processing problem (not massive, only mild I think, she has been seen by a child psychologist etc and diagnosed) She is better now shes older but when she was 3/4/5... oh my word. She would wear the same few outfits and nothing else would feel "right", she hated button down school shirts, hated jeans, hated socks unless they were specific ones.

spartacusthe1st

loz, how did u go about getting the diagnosis?
DD is the same she won't wear jeans or certain trousers If they feel too 'loose' even though they fit properly!

Indie_Kid

MadDogWoman wrote: »

Research Sensory Processing Disorder

You either haven't read the OP or know nothing about the condition.

The OP has stated her child isn't like this all the time. Whilst I've not been officially diagnosed with SPD, it's in my medical notes that I have extreme sensitivity to light and noise - to the stage where it can get physically painful. Regardless of where I go, this is always an issue.

Can't understand why so people are obsessed with trying to diagnose the OP's child. Some children are just like that.

The sock thing sounds familiar. I think it was always put down to visual impairment and my general inability (due to said visual impairment / colour blindness) to dress myself properly) rather than some sensory issue. The only socks I've really had an issue with are walking socks. They were, I seem to remember, wool or some equally horrid material. I have eczema and my skin doesn't like wool.:(

Kaye1

My youngest is the same about socks- Daddy doesn't get it and just shoves them on LO; they have to be right or she can't bear it. I have to put them on and smooth them out correctly! She also went through a stage of flatly refusing to wear shoes but that has passed now, thankfully.

spartacusthe1st

Kaye1 wrote: »

My youngest is the same about socks- Daddy doesn't get it and just shoves them on LO; they have to be right or she can't bear it. I have to put them on and smooth them out correctly! She also went through a stage of flatly refusing to wear shoes but that has passed now, thankfully.

Yes 'bumpy' shoes are also a problem!
She came home from school and demanded while clenching her teeth that I give her some food, I have explained every time she shouts/hits or pushes she will go on the step and she said ok sorry mum and then asked me nicely.

So hopefully this more firmer approach will help with the behaviour, but the socks/bumpy shoes and collar situation will be a work in progress I think!