What To Do! Potential Life Changing Decision

Anoneemoose

In addition to the above, if I continue working, we would be approximately £800 per month better off. Taking into consideration my wages - cost to get to work.

Our house needs a lot doing to it, including a new kitchen and bathroom but the majority of the rest of it is purely cosmetic.

Today has been horrendous. I am going to a concert tonight and although ak extremely excited, am feeling absolutely rubbish. I have hardly moved from the sofa today, because I have been unable to.

DH also gets a twice yearly bonus of £1500 after tax

Meatloaf1981

Well looks like a healthy SOA, though as you've identified there are certainly areas you could cut back on if you were willing to.

atolaas

You mention that you run a small business in addition to working. Perhaps you could focus on that and stop working for the time being and see how that suits you?

Anoneemoose

atolaas wrote: »

You mention that you run a small business in addition to working. Perhaps you could focus on that and stop working for the time being and see how that suits you?

I don't do it as a business at the moment, mainly as a hobby and for family and friends. It is something I have considered, and questioned on here in my PPs, but, even with that, OH seems to be against it.

Meatloaf1981

If your OH is against it, has he detailed why he is against it? It sounds like you need to sit down with him and explain what it is you want and whether you can reach some form of compromise with him. If your health is suffering and he is not supporting you enough then you need to be honest with him and insist he take your request seriously. You are in the fortunate position that you can afford to live relatively comfortably on just his income, but I suspect his main concern is he would like to have more disposable cash to spend, rather than a happy partner who feels supported through some tough health problems.

It may be worth suggesting that you don't want it to be a permanent arrangement but until your health recovers it would be an option that would benefit you and get your back up to speed sooner, hopefully.

Can't help but feel you're intimating your partner is not very supportive of your illnesses and sees it more as a nuisance than anything else.

getmore4less

Where is your money going now?


The main problem with the SOA is no buffer/cash pile to fall back on

Only £50 to an emergency fund.
No house maintenance fund(kitchens and bathrooms will need something).
No car replacement fund in the budget(£75pm, £900py over 10 years)

I agree with hubby you will be skint the cutbacks you can make just fill the missing bits

£800pm nearly £10k for the year might get the house done.

Anoneemoose

atolaas wrote: »

You mention that you run a small business in addition to working. Perhaps you could focus on that and stop working for the time being and see how that suits you?

getmore4less wrote: »

Where is your money going now?


The main problem with the SOA is no buffer/cash pile to fall back on

Only £50 to an emergency fund.
No house maintenance fund(kitchens and bathrooms will need something).
No car replacement fund in the budget(£75pm, £900py over 10 years)

I agree with hubby you will be skint the cutbacks you can make just fill the missing bits

£800pm nearly £10k for the year might get the house done.

We have only just started earning this amount, prior to this we had approx £700 a month less and have been using the surplus to do bits in the house.

Car replacement fund would be the £213 car loan which would be saved once the current loan is paid off.

I appreciate you agree with hubby but what I fear is being forced to have to leave, which is a very distinct possibility. I know I could leave things until I really have no choice, but if I was to get to that stage, I would be good for nothing at all.

I certainly wouldn't leave until we had at least £3000 in an emergency fund which would be in August.

Anoneemoose

Meatloaf1981 wrote: »

If your OH is against it, has he detailed why he is against it? It sounds like you need to sit down with him and explain what it is you want and whether you can reach some form of compromise with him. If your health is suffering and he is not supporting you enough then you need to be honest with him and insist he take your request seriously. You are in the fortunate position that you can afford to live relatively comfortably on just his income, but I suspect his main concern is he would like to have more disposable cash to spend, rather than a happy partner who feels supported through some tough health problems.

It may be worth suggesting that you don't want it to be a permanent arrangement but until your health recovers it would be an option that would benefit you and get your back up to speed sooner, hopefully.

Can't help but feel you're intimating your partner is not very supportive of your illnesses and sees it more as a nuisance than anything else.

To be honest, I think you're right. He says he'll be supportive and he does try in his own way, he cuddles me and says it'll be ok but that's pretty much as far as it goes. I do feel like he sees it as a nuisance.

He just sees it that we'll lost the option of being able to just do what we want, when we want. Much as he is hard working, and a great husband and father, he is very much in to things. The latest technology mainly.

But, he sees it that this extra money should give us foreign hols, a better car, and massive spends at christmas Etc. I don't think he realises that I want 'nice things' too, but realise that there may not be that option if my health forces our hand.

Meatloaf1981

I think a little reality check is needed for him then and perhaps you need to take the time to sit him down and let him know exactly how you feel. If he doesn't know then he won't be able to make any compromises in your favour. It may also be worth making sure he understands the nature of your conditions a bit more because a large amount of people who lack sympathy for these conditions do so out of ignorance, whether that be wilful or otherwise.

getmore4less

Anoneemoose wrote: »

We have only just started earning this amount, prior to this we had approx £700 a month less and have been using the surplus to do bits in the house.

Car replacement fund would be the £213 car loan which would be saved once the current loan is paid off.

I appreciate you agree with hubby but what I fear is being forced to have to leave, which is a very distinct possibility. I know I could leave things until I really have no choice, but if I was to get to that stage, I would be good for nothing at all.

I certainly wouldn't leave until we had at least £3000 in an emergency fund which would be in August.

Perhaps I should clarify,

If the SOA reflects the current situation(outgoings) then you are exposed and not enough left to give the feeling of not being skint(your not just hubby feels like that on this SOA so go with it).

It is however very generous in some areas so a repriortization of where you get value from your money could turn this around into an reasonable SOA with less exposure and still achieve your goals with a bit of luxury.

You make the choices of how you want to spend you money but often we forget to review our priorities.

I would review,
TV, internet,mobiles.
Do you watch all the things you have enough to justify the expense.
Just before Xmas we got now TV box with that you can PAYG, movie, entertainment packs, sport. know some fid they can get away with free view sat and time shifting stuff, loads of stuff on line a well

Presents upto you but does seem out of proportion with other spends

Entertainment, with 4 people days out are not cheap but if you combine this with holidays you could priortize

Holidays see above.

Not enough info to know if going down to one car is feasable, these are the biggest money pit people have.


I think you can get to where you need to be but it does need some discusions and adjustments and comprimise.

The lack of a cash buffer would be my biggest concern.