What To Do! Potential Life Changing Decision

Anoneemoose

Good evening,

I am hoping for some advice. My husband was recently promoted which means our overall income is fantastic compared with previous years - this includes our disposable income of course. The dilemma is that due to health issues (Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia), I am struggling with work. I am currently on a phased return from 3 months sickness and, even with the reduced hours/days, I feel shockingly ill. I have requested to reduce my hours permanently but I am really worried I still won't manage.

The point I am taking ages to get to is that I have considered giving up work altogether but cannot get the guts to do it because it goes against everything I have ever believed (I have always worked). If I did give up, I plan to set up a small business which would bring in some pocket money. This would not be necessary though and could be done at a pace to suit my health. I have looked into necessary costs for starting up but they are minimal as I already have most things I need as I currently do it as a hobby. I have also checked out insurances etc and other essentials and there really isn't a lot needed to make it official.

Although I say it wouldn't be necessary to earn lots, if I did leave work, it would mean we would have to tighten our belts slightly but even then would be able to afford a uk hol, christmas, birthdays, car maintenance budget as well as everything else on a SOA. We certainly wouldn't be on the bread line.

BUT, as I say, I would feel like I am committing financial suicide by leaving a decently paid, good working hours, with good benefits, somewhere I have worked for 12 years, job.

The other side is that if I don't stop working, there is the potential that my health will force it upon me anyway. I have an appt with the consultant for the first time on Tuesday so am hoping they will have a magic cure (unlikely). Obviously I won't do anything straight away and will wait at least until I see if there could be any improvement in my health.

I am so torn. Does anyone have any thoughts please?

Edited to say, we have no debt apart from £3500 on a credit card which will be paid by May (combination of OH bonus - already confirmed to be paid with this months salary and disposable income)...so definitely wouldn't do anything before then.

Anoneemoose

And I realise there is always the possibilty of OH not having a job as nothing is a surety.

YORKSHIRELASS

I can understand how you feel. Slightly different circumstances but in 2010 I walked away from the job I loved and like you I had done for 12 years. My son had been diagnosed with a serious chronic illness and I just couldnt manage any more.

I took two years off to be a full time carer. For me it was never intended to be a permanent change, I knew that one day I would go back to work if I could find something that fitted around my son. Eventually I found a part time job close to home that I could do and its worked out OK.

I was really unsure about whether I was doing the right thing when I handed my notice in but in the end I felt nothing but a massive sense of relief. I would give yourself some time at home to just have some breathing space. A plan will form itself eventually but I wouldnt rush into setting up your business straight away.

There is lots you can do at home to keep busy and feel like you are contributing to the household. I made it my job to be a proper old style housewife because it made me feel better. As well as caring for my son I got into baking, I managed the finances, did some gardening and decorating (fairly badly!).

I think you know the answer, you just need to take a deep breath and go for it. Your health has got to be more important than anything else at the end of the day.

Dr._Shoe

What does your OH say about it?

Anoneemoose

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

I can understand how you feel. Slightly different circumstances but in 2010 I walked away from the job I loved and like you I had done for 12 years. My son had been diagnosed with a serious chronic illness and I just couldnt manage any more.

I took two years off to be a full time carer. For me it was never intended to be a permanent change, I knew that one day I would go back to work if I could find something that fitted around my son. Eventually I found a part time job close to home that I could do and its worked out OK.

I was really unsure about whether I was doing the right thing when I handed my notice in but in the end I felt nothing but a massive sense of relief. I would give yourself some time at home to just have some breathing space. A plan will form itself eventually but I wouldnt rush into setting up your business straight away.

There is lots you can do at home to keep busy and feel like you are contributing to the household. I made it my job to be a proper old style housewife because it made me feel better. As well as caring for my son I got into baking, I managed the finances, did some gardening and decorating (fairly badly!).

I think you know the answer, you just need to take a deep breath and go for it. Your health has got to be more important than anything else at the end of the day.

Thank you so much for this. You're right of course, health is the most important thing. I think I am probably also still very much in denial about the effect it is having on my life. Some days are 'ok' and others, well I only just manage to get up and function. I am finding it hard to come to terms with it because I have always worked or 'been busy'. I believe the clinic I will be attending helps us patients cope with, and accept our limitations.

I am so scared about it all. I also enjoy my job very much and fear being bored. I don't think DH 'approves' really which worries me because I still don't think he 'gets' just how debilitating this illness can be.

Anoneemoose

Dr._Shoe wrote: »

What does your OH say about it?

We haven't discussed it fully but when I mentioned it he said "oh, we have only just started to be able to afford nice things"!

To be fair, compared with some, we were able to afford nice things before that.

FatVonD

Do you have the option to reduce your hours to work part time instead?

Anoneemoose

FatVonD wrote: »

Do you have the option to reduce your hours to work part time instead?

I only work part time at the moment. I currently do 5hrs x 5 days a week. I have requested to drop one of those days but I am having to struggle for this. I daresay any less would be even more of a fight.

theoretica

Another thing to throw into the mix is whether your work would let you take a career break.

Bennifred

Would you be eligible for an ill-health pension from your place of work? Do you get sick pay of some sort? Don't just leave your job without finding out about all the options.

Anoneemoose

Thank you for all the responses.

I know there may be the option of a sabbatical as there are others who have done this.

I do get sick pay of 6 months per year - I have already used 3 months of this. My employer has a disciplinary procedure for long term sickness which means if I was off for a lengthy period, I would eventually be dismissed - although rumour has it that this would take longer as my illness is recognised as a disability under the equality act.

We did used to have some form of ill health payment but I need to check if that is still available - I do recall someone saying it was practically impossible to get - they were refused it for an extremely serious, painful condition.

Also, as my GP is not that great, getting a fit note off him is like pulling teeth. Like I am just skiving. Wish it was that simple!!