Happy relationships? Anyone? Anyone?

ChrisJJ

To all of you who consider yourselves to have good healthy relationships with your partners: What makes the relationship satisfying for you? Do you and your partner communicate well? Does your partner compliment you, notice the little things about you and comment on them (the good, not the annoying!)

Having just come out of a not so-good relationship, I'm seeing more and more clearly what was missing and it makes me so sad. I feel it would be lovely to hear from people in happy partnerships and perhaps remind me how great they can be and give me hope for the future.

Thank you

74jax

ChrisJJ wrote: »

To all of you who consider yourselves to have good healthy relationships with your partners: What makes the relationship satisfying for you? Do you and your partner communicate well? Does your partner compliment you, notice the little things about you and comment on them (the good, not the annoying!)

Having just come out of a not so-good relationship, I'm seeing more and more clearly what was missing and it makes me so sad. I feel it would be lovely to hear from people in happy partnerships and perhaps remind me how great they can be and give me hope for the future.

Thank you

Me again! Like I've said I jumped from my violent relationship to another quite soon and totally not planned.

I'm in a bliss relationship. Most happy and content I've ever been. For me it's the security and total love he shows me all the time, well mostly!

I'm fiercely independent after my last relationship and won't let anyone ever control me again. I've found someone just as independent. We don't share a lot of time together compared to most, but it works for us. We holiday together but also seperate. Have seperate friends and interests, but together we just click. We just fall together perfectly.

I can't say why, I couldn't pin point something, but together we are just complete as daft as I know that sounds.

He's not my best friend, I don't tell him everything, I have girlfriends for that but he knows me better than I know myself.

Ten years together soon, married for two this year and I still fancy the pants off him. My friends think it's funny but I love him taking me out for meals, I love surprising him with weekends away, how he buys me flowers, we sent daft texts.

It can happen after the trauma you've been through. It really can.

FBaby

I am in my first (and only!) very happy relationship in my mid 40s. What makes it such a good relationship is a combination of many things but it can be summed up by what I used to think was just a clich!: I married the man I fancy the socks off who also has become my true best friend. The two together is just amazing!

Happier_Me

Married 13 years, together 19 years, 2 children. I can't imagine being with anyone else and I'm certain no one else would have him! What makes it work:

We're great friends, communicate well (we never let things fester, rarely argue but never go to sleep without sorting things out), we have the same goals and interests, we still find each other funny, we're compatible..err..physically,we compliment each other ...my strengths are his weaknesses and vice versa.

Put simply we're a good team and we're stronger together than alone.

I was in a bad relationship when I was much younger and this taught me what to avoid in a partner and what to look for. Maybe we're just lucky and I know there are no guarantees in life.

One thing I have always thought strange ... We both come from families with no divorce. I can recall just one divorce in our entire extended family, this was an Aunt who married and divorced very quickly very young but has since been married for 35 plus years.

YORKSHIRELASS

Same as above, been together for 25 years, married for 19 years.

We complement each other, he is very laid back, I am a control freak. He likes to go with the flow, I like to plan every thing to the last detail. He lets me just get on with it! We want the same things out of life and agree about most of the big stuff.

He is a kind, generous man who loves his family and will always support me in whatever I want to do.

No relationship is perfect though! He finds it hard to talk about his feelings and his untidiness can drive me batty. I am very driven and he can be quite lazy so we sometimes clash on this. I am sure that there are plenty of things about me that annoy him.

Its not always easy to make it work long term, we all change over time, but I hope we will still be together in another 20 years. I cant imagine being with anyone else.

lostinrates

ChrisJJ wrote: »

To all of you who consider yourselves to have good healthy relationships with your partners: What makes the relationship satisfying for you? Do you and your partner communicate well? Does your partner compliment you, notice the little things about you and comment on them (the good, not the annoying!)

Having just come out of a not so-good relationship, I'm seeing more and more clearly what was missing and it makes me so sad. I feel it would be lovely to hear from people in happy partnerships and perhaps remind me how great they can be and give me hope for the future.

Thank you

Communication really is key. Everything else is the result of how good the communication is. Some people, for example, would find compliment and detail commenting suffocating to the level others find it supportive, communication means you get it right for each other and know where it comes from.

My DH and I don't get to see each other every day, but we communicate every day.

I think it helps our personalities are very different but complimentary, and we each find the other helps us grow or have support in areas we naturally are underdeveloped in.

We are truthful with each other, and we can talk about anything, and work something out. Some conversations I've started with embarrassment have ended up with us both giggling or roaring with laughter.

We don't just love each other we LIKE each other. The two don't necessarily go hand in hand, yet, when they do, by heck it helps through difficult times like sickness and stress. And it helps with things like trouble from external stressors. It just feels easier to behave as one would want to.

tea_lover

Loving these answers . Am in a similar situation OP - just extricating myself from a pretty poor relationship. Have spent years convincing myself it wasn't that bad and it would do, it's quite an eye opener to let yourself really see things as they are... and how they could be.

Here's to a brighter future for both of us

Jagraf

Have been with my OH for 13 years now after we were both in other, quite traumatic relationships. It has taken us years to get our lives together and has been an emotional roller coaster with divorce, debt issues and other problems.

We have now reached a peaceful place and I still fancy him like mad and all the past is in the past. We have stuck together when most would have given up and I'm proud of what we have achieved.

Birdie85

When DH and I got together his friends really didn't 'get' it as he's loud and silly and sporty and loved to drink, whereas I was the total opposite! They thought it would never last... 8 years later we're still together, happily married with a baby so I think we proved them all wrong!

He brought out the crazy side of me, I made him calm down a little. We don't need each other, but we want and choose to be together.

Of course we drive each other mad, I'm too messy, he's too much of a neat freak - but we are able to grumble at each other then get over it and move on and every day we say 'I love you' and each night we have a kiss and a cuddle before going to sleep.

We also still fancy each other which helps, I'm sure we'll still get excited seeing one another all dressed up for a night out even in 50 years!

lulu_92

My OH and I always make sure that we don't try to stop the other doing something without us, which is something so many of our friends do now.

We still fancy each other but the problem is that OH is so laid back he doesn't comment on things unless he doesn't like them! Even then he doesn't say much. I can't remember the last time he told me I looked nice, but I know he thinks it.

Ozzuk

I'm happy, Max and I are getting on brilliantly. He's on his own a lot during the day which isn't ideal but I try and make up for it with walks and treats. He's very affectionate and we make time for each other even if its just watching TV. His snoring is a bit of a pain but its not his fault.

Max is my dog btw, I'm currently going through the longest period of being single for something like 18 years (its currently at 2 months) and I'm loving it! Dated loads over the last year or so but had enough of it so I'm being much more selective.