Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

ourcornercottage wrote: »

There's nothing at all pathetic about this being a trigger, some might say that being stressed at work is a pathetic reason, some might say that financial worries is pathetic , some might say that an argument is. I think your reason makes more sense than these 3 but you wouldn't describe these as pathetic would you? All really important to the person it's happening to though and this just happens to be YOUR trigger.

To be it makes total sense as its such a huge change for you. Well done for spotting/accepting it. It's been a shock to your system but you will come through it,

Nice to see you're keeping your savings in your account

Thanks, OOC. You're right that this is important to me and that being why things have taken a turn for the worse. I try my absolute best to be a good father and to be honest, I don't really know how to make his home and school life fit together. Fortunately, he's starting to realise he goes to school Monday - Friday and is starting to make a few friends. I'm pleased he's starting to fit in there but I really miss him being around, I greatly miss him asking questions and wanting to learn about how things work and fixing them.

I know I brought this on myself but during school days my life seems to revolve around taking him there and picking him up. Every time he asks if he can stay at home and play music, go for a walk or work on cars / furniture / the house with me, I so desperately want to say yes. However, I know I would be seen as a bad parent for not taking him back even though I can teach him the curriculum learnt at school.

Having said all that, my wife is getting on with him much better now he's at school. It's been a trigger for her too, she realises he's no longer the little baby that seemed to give us little else than sleepless nights and mess. These past few weeks, she's been really good with him. Hope that continues.

Regarding the savings, I'm doing the right thing at the moment. Having said that, if I were to pick the right TR6 and not get attached to it (no chance of that, then), my money would be better off in that than in an account. However, we will need the cash soon for the house. Back to having no spare money, then.

newgirly wrote: »

Your son needs you ok Alex, you need to try if at all possible to stop looking so far ahead at what will happen. Easier said than done I know.

Instead of spending on cars/things might it be a good time to spend some on experiences or breaks away? I'm not talking trash your years savings type holiday, but what about a romantic weekend away in a nice hotel with a day out somewhere that interests you both. Something to look forward to, it doesn't have to cost a lot, and would earn you lots of brownie points. Its been a tough few weeks for you, maybe a change would be good?

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

Alex, I think you should seriously consider this suggestion. Could you take MrsK and LittleK away for somewhere at half-term for a few days to celebrate his first half-term of school?

Mrs K said the same thing. She also seems to think I / he won't make the same mistakes and that he'll want to keep in touch. Not sure I believe her but I can hope.

I was going to take my son to Spain over the half term with my parents but I realise it's probably not the right time due to dog commitments. Mrs K wouldn't be able to go to Spain for a week due to work. However, going somewhere Friday - Monday would be OK as her work don't mind so long as the work is done and it's not a day she needs to visit a client or site. You're definitely right about brownie points, Mrs K misses the holidays we used to have.

AlexLK

Today I added the weekly £30 to the savings and had a conversation with Mrs K about the mortgage. Currently we are overpaying around £250 per month but after spending some time looking at the overpayment calculator on here, I've realised that by only paying an extra £250 per month, we'll still have this mortgage in 17 years time. I found that quite disappointing but she is adamant she wants us to pay the mortgage off rather than for my parents to buy the house (something I'd been talking to them about).

We've also talked about her having a company car (again :rotfl:) as the 5 seems to be at the point where it's becoming troublesome. Can't really complain, she does a lot of miles and it's been largely very reliable. However, if she were to have a company car it would be under warranty and a dealership would service it free of charge. Also we'd save about £250 per month in the additional petrol the 5 uses compared to the offerings on the company car list. I estimate we're currently spending about £700 per year servicing and maintaining it with me doing all the work, too. So not a small amount of money, really.

smallholdingsister

Sounds a productive conversation.

maman

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sounds a productive conversation.

Good that you and MrsK are talking about things Alex.


Another benefit of getting a company car would be to stop MrsK hankering after spending family money on one for herself particularly as she doesn't just look at cheap runarounds. And hopefully this year she won't need new winter gloves either!!:rotfl:


I'm with your wife on paying off the mortgage yourselves and not looking to your parents. It's not just the financial side to be considered but the personal pride in 'standing on your own two (or rather four) feet' and being as independent as possible. It's fine to have a business arrangement where you work in the family firm and get paid for it and even more fine to be a supportive son but I'm sure it doesn't do you any good to be financed by them. Your plan to have your mortgage paid off early is great but don't forget it's not a situation that most in your age group can aspire too so you're doing well there. In fact, you're doing well in all sorts of ways but you just can't see it, can you?:wall::D

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sounds a productive conversation.

It was. Today we went to see some of the cars on the company list. Not exactly a thrilling list but still a good excuse to take the Daimler out.

maman wrote: »

Good that you and MrsK are talking about things Alex.

Another benefit of getting a company car would be to stop MrsK hankering after spending family money on one for herself particularly as she doesn't just look at cheap runarounds. And hopefully this year she won't need new winter gloves either!!:rotfl:

:rotfl: MrsK will always be hankering after that, she doesn't like the cars on the list and that's why she's stayed with the old 5 up until now.

As for gloves, no she doesn't need any of those. Ever heard the saying 'buy cheap, buy twice', maman?

maman wrote: »

I'm with your wife on paying off the mortgage yourselves and not looking to your parents. It's not just the financial side to be considered but the personal pride in 'standing on your own two (or rather four) feet' and being as independent as possible. It's fine to have a business arrangement where you work in the family firm and get paid for it and even more fine to be a supportive son but I'm sure it doesn't do you any good to be financed by them. Your plan to have your mortgage paid off early is great but don't forget it's not a situation that most in your age group can aspire too so you're doing well there. In fact, you're doing well in all sorts of ways but you just can't see it, can you?:wall::D

I can see her point (and yours). She had quite the falling out with my parents today over wanting to pay her own way. I suppose I see it differently because I want my son to grow up in my childhood home. I also don't want to get to the age of 40 and still have 12 years left on the mortgage (that's keeping to the overpayments :eek:).

Personally I don't believe I'm doing well.

AlexLK

Sunday 27th September, 2015.

Dear Diary,

So, the end of September is here already and my savings progress is not looking good. Luckily, I spent some time this evening prepping and listing a few things for sale that should make a few pennies towards the target.

Next week brings the start of October which means my son's birthday is getting closer and as usual Mrs K and I don't know what to get for him. We are having a party again, this year the theme is 'the golden era of railway' as my parents now have a garden railway, yes it appears father has not quite grown up either. Pity he was pretending when I were a boy. Also next week I go back to school to learn about 'Visual Conflict', glad it's the cleaner's day as my mother will be on lunch duty, wouldn't want her to see the house in it's usual state. :rotfl:

This evening for the first time in a few weeks, I'm looking forward to the coming week and have been productive today, so hoping for a better week and a productive October. 3 months to make £1,850 seems doable tonight.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

newgirly

I have to say it, I think your parents are lucky to have a dil who does not want their money and wants to pay her own way, surely they should respect her for that?

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

I have to say it, I think your parents are lucky to have a dil who does not want their money and wants to pay her own way, surely they should respect her for that?

They do respect her, it's my wife that doesn't like them paying for things. She doesn't want them to free us from the mortgage or to live with them. They can't see why she doesn't want this or why she wanted to pay them back for the times they paid the mortgage a few years back. Mrs K also decided to make an unnecessary fuss over them seeing our son as their second chance.

Anyway, on another note, son went willingly to school with a smile on his face. No fuss, no asking to stay at home. That made it a lot easier. Also, a few early bids on some ebay items and waking up to a potential business arrangement, seems to be making for a good Monday.

newgirly

:eek: Alex, are you trying to provoke with some of your comments about your wife ?! :rotfl:

Glad your ds is starting to settle in well :T

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

:eek: Alex, are you trying to provoke with some of your comments about your wife ?! :rotfl:

Glad your ds is starting to settle in well :T

I wasn't, though Mrs K certainly knows how to wind up my parents. That said, they deserve it sometimes. :rotfl:

My son had a really good day at school today and brought home a nice painting of a castle (the theme for the half term is folklore and fairy tales).