Renovations and Repayments.

Secret_Saving_Squirrel

Neither do I..

AlexLK

I think I should respond another day when I've not been enjoying my time off quite so much. :rotfl: Habe not yet made my mind up re. teaching but struggling to sleep this week the time off is so welcome and I'm trying to make the most of it.

Father is home and a lot better. There seems to finally be some progress. The kitchen in the other house is a long way from being started. NEed to decide whether the other house stays or not before I spend more.

newgirly

Glad your father is recovering Alex.

Does your wife now wish to live with your parents then and leave hers and your sons home all of a sudden?

I can't believe you are even contemplating doing this, knowing the impact it will have on your family. If it was me I think you would have to choose ...... and yes I do have experience of sick elderly relatives that need major support.

Surely one life changing thing at a time is enough, haven't you got enough on your plate with work currently?

Red-Squirrel_2

AlexLK wrote: »

NEed to decide whether the other house stays or not before I spend more.

You mean your house? Your family home?

Watty1

Please consider the implications of moving in. Yes, I know parents need care but there can be a huge cost to pay for that care, not just a financial one but way more expensive on a personal level as I am finding out just now.

AlexLK

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for not responding to messages on here. I do appreciate messages but at this moment in time I am unsure how to respond. Anyhow, I think I need to start keeping track of the finances again. I was struggling to sleep tonight so decided to see if I could update the records. What an absolute disaster. Well, it's not terrible - we don't owe money but we've not managed to save anything either. It's been very easy to spend money lately and forget about our longer term plans.

This evening I've reminded myself why it was a good idea to be on here, it always did help me to stop spending at a ridiculous rate and not to just take money for granted.

November is my son's birthday month. :eek: He will be 7 soon and we've organised a party. Recently he seems to have really "grown up". The other day he expressed a wish for my wife and I to call him a shortened name (comes from my cousin's children as they sometimes call him this shortened name if they know I'm not around). I told him he would not go by a shortened version of his name and my wife told me I sounded just like my father. Not going to let it get to the point of bellowing at my adult son's fiancee that she dare not refer to my son as a shortened version of his name, though. Reminded my father of that episode and he told me he was devastated I was known to her by the shortened version of my name.

Father is recovering well and a change in medication seems to have helped an awful lot. He has started going to the old people's lunch again and seems quite determined to try to make some new friends. He also managed to find a relative online and is debating whether to send a message as he has been thinking about what happened to his parents and other family.

Karmacat

AlexLK wrote: »

November is my son's birthday month. :eek: He will be 7 soon and we've organised a party. Recently he seems to have really "grown up". The other day he expressed a wish for my wife and I to call him a shortened name (comes from my cousin's children as they sometimes call him this shortened name if they know I'm not around). I told him he would not go by a shortened version of his name and my wife told me I sounded just like my father..

His name, his choice, Alex Since he's old enough to express that wish to you coherently, he's old enough to be respected for it, in my book anyway.

It sounds like there's a lot of family trauma going on in the background, as well as the finances - hope you're taking care of yourself.

Save

newgirly

Glad you are still with us Alex, we do have our uses

I have to weigh in on the name discussion! Surely when you chose the name you took into account all the shortened versions which he may be called or choose to use, plus any unpleasant rhyming versions?

Two out of our three have longer names that can be shortened, I've always used the shortened versions as they suited them when younger, one has chosen (dd) to now use her full name and one has kept the ' nickname ' he had as a baby. For your father to say he was devastated by you using a shorter version sounds ridiculous to be honest and shows how controlling he must have been, there are far more important things to worry about.

On a lighter note my Aunt changed her name to "Dobin Louise" for a whole year as a child, so it could be much worse :rotfl::rotfl:

CathT

AlexLK wrote: »

November is my son's birthday month. :eek: He will be 7 soon and we've organised a party. Recently he seems to have really "grown up". The other day he expressed a wish for my wife and I to call him a shortened name (comes from my cousin's children as they sometimes call him this shortened name if they know I'm not around). I told him he would not go by a shortened version of his name and my wife told me I sounded just like my father. Not going to let it get to the point of bellowing at my adult son's fiancee that she dare not refer to my son as a shortened version of his name, though. Reminded my father of that episode and he told me he was devastated I was known to her by the shortened version of my name.

Father is recovering well and a change in medication seems to have helped an awful lot. He has started going to the old people's lunch again and seems quite determined to try to make some new friends. He also managed to find a relative online and is debating whether to send a message as he has been thinking about what happened to his parents and other family.

My daughter was a similar age when she started introducing herself to people with the shortened version of her name. We had never shortened it until that point. I realised this is what she wished to be called and a strong sense of identity is so important to children. She now goes by the shortened version but remains fully aware of what her full name is.

Good to hear your father is recovering well and it's positive he's hoping to establish some friendships. Hopefully it will also relieve some pressure and expectation on you always to be available to him.

AlexLK

Had a nice Sunday. Went to a bonfire with my wife, son, cousin and cousin's family. It's very cold at the moment, though.

I've been sleeping quite well but managed very little sleep last night.

Karmacat wrote: »

His name, his choice, Alex Since he's old enough to express that wish to you coherently, he's old enough to be respected for it, in my book anyway.

It sounds like there's a lot of family trauma going on in the background, as well as the finances - hope you're taking care of yourself.

Save

My wife is of the same opinion.

Things aren't too good, to be honest. Finances aren't a problem, thankfully. However, I want us to stop spending so much. Not sure whether I'm taking care of myself or not. I've managed to switch off from feelings as much as possible.

newgirly wrote: »

Glad you are still with us Alex, we do have our uses

I have to weigh in on the name discussion! Surely when you chose the name you took into account all the shortened versions which he may be called or choose to use, plus any unpleasant rhyming versions?

Two out of our three have longer names that can be shortened, I've always used the shortened versions as they suited them when younger, one has chosen (dd) to now use her full name and one has kept the ' nickname ' he had as a baby. For your father to say he was devastated by you using a shorter version sounds ridiculous to be honest and shows how controlling he must have been, there are far more important things to worry about.

On a lighter note my Aunt changed her name to "Dobin Louise" for a whole year as a child, so it could be much worse :rotfl::rotfl:

I hadn't considered my son's name being shortened, to be honest. It was a real shock when my cousin's children shortened his name and that was quite a long time ago.

Father finds it difficult to deal with things that don't go his way, even now. I was in my twenties when he and mother found out.

Dobin Louise :rotfl: You write something to make me smile. NG.

CathT wrote: »

My daughter was a similar age when she started introducing herself to people with the shortened version of her name. We had never shortened it until that point. I realised this is what she wished to be called and a strong sense of identity is so important to children. She now goes by the shortened version but remains fully aware of what her full name is.

Good to hear your father is recovering well and it's positive he's hoping to establish some friendships. Hopefully it will also relieve some pressure and expectation on you always to be available to him.

I hadn't thought of it like that, Cath. I should speak to him about it and shouldn't have overreacted. MSE does often seem to give me new perspectives on things, thank you.